your secret name read-along (week 2)

Before we dive in to Chapters 3 and 4, I want to make a little change to the reading schedule. You probably noticed that Chapter 3 wrapped up Part 1 of the book and Chapter 4 started Part 2.

I’d like to keep us in the same Part each week, so next week I’m going to ask you to read THREE chapters–5, 6, and 7. Then the following week we’ll do 8 & 9 (then 10 & 11 and so on).

I know that sounds harsh, but guess what it’s going to mean? February 22, the last day of the Read-Along, will be Review/PARTY Week!! Instead of writing about Chapter 15, we’ll do some recapping, some story-sharing, and PRIZE-WINNING (multiple prizes that week!).

Sound good? Speaking of prizes, if you want to take a sec to check out the BIG, AWESOME prize at the end of this post, be my guest.

Chapter 3: The Name Game

What did you think of the statement on page 37 that, “Most men define who they are by what they do–their jobs. Most women define who they are by who they know–their relationships.” Agree? Disagree? Do you fit that stereotype?

How about p. 45–“Beneath the surface of every person is a human being with an insatiable need to know who he or she was created to be.” Can you relate to that? How are you doing in the I-know-who-I-truly-am department?

Chapter 4: Puppets and Pawns

The story about the Bible Institute teacher who tried to guilt his students into becoming foreign missionaries made me sick. Has anyone ever tried to force you to become someone you just weren’t created to be? I feel so blessed that my parents never, not ever, tried to use me as a puppet or put square me in a round hole. I do remember my High School Calculus teacher telling me he really hoped I’d make a career out of math someday, and my English teacher telling me she really hoped I’d become a writer. Score one for the English teacher!

If you’re a parent (or a teacher), have you ever been guilty of trying to “persuade” your child (or student) to be something just because that’s what you wanted?

And how about this quote (p. 58)–“As long as we’re content pretending we’re someone we’re not, we’ll never discover our Secret Name. When we need to lie in order to get a new name, we only fool one person. Ourselves.” What do you make of that? Can you relate in any way?

Your Assignment:

Feel free to answer any/all of the BOLD questions or make up some of your own. Remember, if you comment, you’ll be entered to win today’s prize. If you link to your own post by Friday at noon, you’ll be entered 5 times to win…

A full-color paperback boxed set of THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA valued at $59.99!! SUH-WEET!!! Enter away!!

47 thoughts on “your secret name read-along (week 2)

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  3. Lori @ The Davidson bden

    Glad to finally get home long enough to catch up on my reading and…actually formulate a response of sorts!!

    I’d venture to guess that I have used manipulation to make my kids something they’re not, seeing as how I’ve done it to myself. I don’t even know if I could give examples, because it’s been going on for so long and with such subtlety. I’m looking forward to learning some big lessons and deep truths with this book.

    Also, I’m sorry to hear about your friend, Joanne. Praying…

  4. lisa

    What did you think of the statement on page 37 that, “Most men define who they are by what they do–their jobs. Most women define who they are by who they know–their relationships.” Agree? Disagree? Do you fit that stereotype?

    **my first thought was no … i don’t agree! the men, yes … the women .. no. i guess i think that women define who they are based on their external appearances, how they look, size, clothing, the way they carry themselves, etc. and though i think that’s true FOR SURE, i would also agree that relationships are also at play. being someone who moved with my husband across the country away from my friends and family several years ago, i know i feel it most when i am lonely. and i often times, let it define me and make me believe that it will always be this way and that can often times keep me in my shell and not allow me to make new friends. all of this seem to yield to the comparison game where i look at other women and compare our circumstances. ooo and that’s a ugly game, for sure!

    And how about this quote (p. 58)–”As long as we’re content pretending we’re someone we’re not, we’ll never discover our Secret Name. When we need to lie in order to get a new name, we only fool one person. Ourselves.” What do you make of that? Can you relate in any way?

    **i’ve been super good at pretending that i’m something i’m not. i’ve definitely grown from it and seen it rear it’s ugly head here and there but being a PEOPLE PLEASER has always been something i’ve struggled with. i think it goes back to not feeling good enough so feeling the need to be more in order to be accepted, liked, loved, to make peace, whatever. i’m am constantly reminded that i need to merely live my life for my ‘audience of ONE’ and that God’s approval is what i need. and He approves of me … after all … He created me and made me new at my salvation. oh to remember that in the midst!

    ALSO …. i’ve been praying for joanne too. i don’t know her and had not heard of her until you and beth moore had shared about her. but wow, she’s been on my heart, as well as many others! so so glad God is using all of prayers to bless and encourage her husband. praying that she would rest and heal during this time and wake up soon.

  5. Liz Puffer

    What did you think of the statement on page 37 that, “Most men define who they are by what they do–their jobs. Most women define who they are by who they know–their relationships.” Agree? Disagree? Do you fit that stereotype?
    I would agree that men can be defined by their job but I think woman feel more defined by their families. I used to be pretty defined by my family and when my son went to prison, the most difficult time of our lives, it rocked my world. I went through the whole am I a terrible mom and God comforted me and told me know I am a great mom with a son who made a mistake. I think that has brought me to the place of really loving and realizing who I am in Christ.

    How about p. 45–”Beneath the surface of every person is a human being with an insatiable need to know who he or she was created to be.” Can you relate to that? How are you doing in the I-know-who-I-truly-am department?
    I feel like I am curently serving in my sweet spot, I am doing just what Christ wants me to do. I love that but I still miss opportuities often that He has for me. I love it when He uses me and in those moments I feel like I know exactly who I am in Christ.

  6. douglas

    thanks Marla for being such a wonderful host. I appreciate being able to participate in the read-A-long. I did complete my thoughts to the questions in my post.

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  8. Megan Bradford

    Hello!

    The whole stereotype thing: I never really thought of women defining themselves by who they know before. I’m not sure that I agree totally, but I do agree that this is the case in many organized situations such as church or school. It is amazing at my kids school how people’s status is determined by who they know or how much they know about a certain situation. There is definitely pressure to be more involved so that you are more respected. I think this can easily occur in church settings as well. So I can see how this could overflow into being someone’s life.

    Do I know who I am?- This is such a work in progress, isn’t it? Every stage of life I feel like I know myself more, and then I look back on the last decade and realize that I had no clue. I think we can only truly know ourselves when we identify ourselves through Christ. It is He that is in us. So when we know Him more, we begin to understand how He made us, and that it is okay to struggle, because God made us that way. So for me, I really do think that my thirties have really started me on my journey to understanding myself and all that God has created me to be.

    Have I persuaded my kids to be something they aren’t?- In some sense, yes. I am trying to convince them that they like to clean their playroom. 🙂 Seriously though, I am sure I have and that is something that I am going to try to be more aware of. Parenting is such a tough job. It’s important to expose your kids to things, but not push them into them into them because you really wish you would have done that as a kid.

    I am trying to understand this whole ‘Secret Name’ search that he keeps referring to. I get that God has a name for us and maybe we can get a glimpse of that name while we are here on earth, but I am still a bit confused.

    That’s all for now 🙂

    1. Marla Taviano

      Thanks for sharing, Megan. I sure do like you.

      I’m going to address the whole “secret” thing on the blog here soon. Lots of people have the same question.

      Sad I didn’t get to see you tonight. Sunday!!

      1. lisa

        ooo … i’m so glad megan mentioned this because i was kinda feeling the same way but thought sooner or later it would make sense. looking forward to your response, marla! thanks 😉

  9. Teresa

    I am almost done with the book…I haven’t been able to put it down or stop thinking about the message. This is the perfect book for me at the perfect time…but that is our God for us…perfect timing.

    When we meet someone new we often say “What do you do or Where do you work?” It is as if this will define that person. Yes, we may get a glimpse of who they are based on the job they do (and a stay at home mom is a job). I am a single mom (yes I labeled myself)…and have been essentially out of work for the past 2 years. In the spring I took a job for $9.25 an hr. It was at a produce and outdoor plant shop that I have shopped at for years. I wore old jeans, tshirts and sweatshirts…and sometimes work boots. I loved working there (we are on a seasonal break right now). But sometimes when people I knew came in I would feel the need to explain myself. They would ask me why I am not teaching…I have a teaching certificate and most people in our small town know me as a teacher. I wanted to tell people that didn’t know me that I really am a teacher…I am getting my master’s degree right now…like this job said I wasn’t good enough because maybe I was letting it define me. I was saying that working in this store made me seem like I was not living up to my “teacher” name. But in reality God did amazing things in me and through me while I was working there. I allowed my job to label me. Does it matter where I work or what I do as long as I am honoring God with my work ethic? I look back at those times when I tried to explain myself and it makes me sad.

    I have three children and they are all so different…and I love that. My middle daughter has internalized a lot of hurtful things that have happened in our family and holds on to them as a measure of others. I went through a long period of time where I wanted to change her. I wanted to change the way she thought, the things she liked, the way she dressed…but after much time, prayer and intervention from the Lord…I had to release all of that and allow her to know I loved her for who she was right then and there. I had to stop labeling her “different” or “angry” or “introvert”…ooohh that makes my heart hurt just thinking about me doing that…and love on her as my daughter. The pressure was lifted and peace set in. That doesn’t mean we don’t go through hard times, but it makes me see her heart and not always her reactions.

    As I child I was labeled shy, quiet, cautious, the good one…and because of experiences…I labeled myself used, no voice, rejected, and dirty…the person my family and friends labeled me as contridicted with how I felt inside and saw myself…I felt like a lie…like an imposter…and because of that I hated who I was…it paralyzed me and held me back. I couldn’t see how God could use me…want to use me…or find how the promises of the Bible could be written for me. Living in our “given names” we can block the acceptance of our “secret name”. I was a lie…and that is how I lived…in shame guilt and fear.

    But God…He is setting me free.

    1. Marla Taviano

      Praising God for setting you free, Teresa. It’s a process, huh. THANK YOU for sharing, friend.

      And I was so “smart” I graduated from college with a teaching degree in three years. And promptly got a job at a grocery store for minimum wage. 😉

  10. Melissa

    I had a conversation a few weeks ago with a friend who is not a believer about what defines us as people, and I mentioned to her that men tend to define themselves by their career, and women by their homes, kids, and also, as Kary points out, their relationships. I tend to analzye everything, so as I think about it, I do feel like I have defined myself by what others think and perceive me, and who I hang out with. In some ways that can be good, as iron can sharpen iron, but I truly believe God gives each of us a unique identity in Him. I’ve been working on developing that identity over the past 5 years, and still have more to do! But I’m thankful that God continues to work on me!

  11. sandee

    Oh, this hit. Ouch…I had two sons…then adotped two daughters. My first daughter came home at age 3 from China…and I SO wanted a girly girl. Here purple, glittery room was full of pink toys, and ruffle dresses and hair bows….and dolls.

    She loves to wear her brothers sports tshirts, her black “boy-jeans” and soccer shoes. Her favorite toys are her brothers nerf guns and swords.

    I gave up! 🙂 (My second daughter, 11, loves lip gloss, polish, glitter and ribbons…so I guess I got a little of the girly girl.)

  12. Nina

    – Do you fit that stereotype? Not really. But I don’t doubt that what Kary writes is true of many people.

    – How are you doing in the I-know-who-I-truly-am department? I’ll admit, it’s hard for me to think about “how I define myself.” Not that I’m not self-reflective–in fact, I’ve spent much of my life being too self-reflective, too mired-down in the “Who Am I” questions. In the past few years, I’ve come to define myself as a sinner who is constantly and desperately in need of God’s grace. (Funny how life started to make a lot more sense after I accepted that.) I also feel a real calling to be a writer (I’ve always felt that!). While I’m already a professional writer, I’m not writing the kinds of things I’m MEANT to write. So I’m working harder in 2011 to honor that calling.

    – Has anyone ever tried to force you to become someone you just weren’t created to be? I’m actually addressing that on my blog. I’ve written the post, but it’s three whole pages long, so I’m trying to shorten it before I put it out there!

    I had a hard time writing about this week’s chapters–I would write more about that, but I just read Sandee’s comment below, and she actually voices some of my own thoughts. Also, on a more practical level, these chapters were kind of like bookends for two different sections, so that made it harder. (I’m glad you’re having us do three chapters for next week!)

  13. sandee

    I had a hard time with these two chapters….so I am not going to do a blog post, but will comment here. I had a real issue with a different stereo-type quote in chapter 3 not too far from the quote you listed, about the majority of women being judged by their bra size! Please. That is not true…and felt like a cold sexist slap in a book I came to for a tender whisper from my Savior. Made it VERY HARD to even want to read the rest of the two chapters. 🙁 Sorry. but it has been eating at me for a week.

    wheewwww…. breathe out…let it go. 🙂

    I do think we all want meaning in our life…the sense that our being hear for a span of years is making a difference to someone other than ourselves. I have come to terms that my first and foremost calling is momma….and there are four that I will make a difference to….and even more….to a 1000 generations, because I love the Lord. That is a pretty big impact.

    I think I have tried to pressure myself into roles that did not fit…. It is also hard as a parent, so free up the space a bit for our kids, to let them grow and develop…the balance between training/nuturing and letting them discover where they fit, especially when it comes to the spiritual realm. I teach, pray and live God with them, but in the end, it is their personal choice. I cannot force that.

    I am a tad bit put off about this “discover your secret name” stuff…I am assuming it is a metaphor for finding our personal walk with God and feeling secure in that…since our true white rock secret name we will not know. I guess I am having a hard time with this book right now. BUT I am hanging in there.

    1. Rachelle

      Sandee, I just kind of read past the comment about the bra…thinking that women (I know) don’t compare each other that way.

      I agree with you that as a parent it is our responsibility to train and nurture our children, guiding them toward whatever God has for thier life. It is certainly a fine line to guide and encourage whild not “forcing” our expectations.

    2. Marla Taviano

      Thanks for being so honest, Sandee. I’m going to address your last paragraph on the blog soon (I agree with you).

      I just wanted to comment about your first paragraph and say I’m so sorry it felt like a slap to you. I can try to defend what I’m sure Kary meant by it, but that doesn’t mean you feel any less hurt.

      On pages 37-38, I get the sense that he’s just pointing out how culture in general assesses our value as people. And sadly? It really is by how we look as women or how much money we make as men. Is it right? Absolutely not. Do we all do it all the time? No.

      But while bra size may seem crass, how many times have we looked at someone and thought she was dirty or homely or not very smart or hard-looking or not a very good mom instead of stopping to stare at her heart, at who she is as a child of God? I know I do it WAY too often. Like all-the-time often.

      And please know that you are IN NO WAY obligated to finish this book. It is one guy’s opinion, and you don’t have to like it. I won’t think any less of you, that’s for sure.

      That’s all. 🙂

    3. Shelly

      Dear Sandee, I love the fact that you were so candid in this! I find the concept of finding a Secret Name so refreshing since I have so many Given Names, but at the same time, I totally see where you are coming from. I was frustrated when other people were saying things like “Grace” or “Hope” is my Secret Name when I was coming up with nothing. I was a little jealous that they felt renewed and I was still same-old-Shelly. However, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that it’s just about finding our personal walk with God and being secure in it. If you have that, I think Kary would just be encouraged by you and your journey and the different people who could relate to your experience! I think that’s the beauty of things. It’s all relative. Anyway, just thought I’d tell ya that even if you don’t spout out a typical “loving it” response, your insight is appreciated!

  14. Rachelle

    Agree? Disagree? Do you fit that stereotype?

    This stereotype seems to be generally true. I don’t want to fit it and mostly don’t, but I do sometimes introduce myself (especially to classmates parents as Rachelle, “my kids” mama), so that they can make a connection to who I am in relation to their life.

    I wonder though, if this type of self identity changes as we age. Men are no longer tied to a career…so do they “name” themselves according to what they used to do? I’ll ask my buddy Don (he’s 83); and women…they are no longer “so-and-so’s” mama(unless their kid is famous).
    So now I am thinking…is this one aspect that makes losing a spouse so very devastating; the fact that in a way you “lose” your name (you’re identity)?
    I say all of this to say: at some point the Name Game will catch up to you. The only way it can’t is if you’re Name is firmly grounded in Christ alone.

    Thankfully, no one has ever forced me to be anything other than me!
    I am in the season of my life with children (10-16) where there is a fine line between encouraging and forcing. I would never force my children to do anything. However, there are things that I know they can do that require great encouragement (like getting my son to take the ACT). As a parent it is my resposibility to provide the encouragement when I recognize a God given ability/gift/talent.

    1. Marla Taviano

      This sentence? “I say all of this to say: at some point the Name Game will catch up to you. The only way it can’t is if you’re Name is firmly grounded in Christ alone.” WOW. That is sooooooooo true. Profound. Awesome. Thank you, friend.

  15. Kathleen-NM

    Great questions for today sista! Pondering and will post soon. So much on my brain, hope I can articulate later. I love what this is allowing people to express.

    So much freedom awaits! Encouraged by all!

  16. Dean

    As a people-pleasing man-fearer it’s chapters like these that are painful reminders of the thousands of wrong places where I’ve searched for identity. The end of chapter four was quite powerful as it hit me that I’ve only fooled myself and made myself an imposter. Sometimes it’s a bit discouraging to realize that it took me this long to start discovering my identity, but I know it’s all about the path and the journey and the One with whom we are walking. Maybe it’s this aspect of life, the mystery of walking a path with Jesus, that makes me want to categorize my kids and make things easy by giving them a list.

    I cannot tell you how timely these chapters were! Just this morning my son came downstairs and was sad that a friend from his basketball team, who also goes to church with us, greets him every Sunday morning with scornful words about his basketball playing abilities. I realized just what was happening in my son’s heart. Someone was trying to shape his identity around athletic ability! We had a great talk about who he really is – a child of God who is loved so amazingly that he can’t possibly be loved more or loved less. If he plays poorly or plays wonderfully, that does not change how much he is loved. He is free to ignore his friends words, but even more powerfully he is free to encourage his friend!

    1. Marla Taviano

      I am so sorry about your son and his friend. That breaks my heart. I’m praying for him this morning–and for his friend (who is obviously hurting in some way or he wouldn’t feel the need to lash out at others).

      Thanks for sharing, Dean.

    2. Kathleen-NM

      Dean, will post more later, but in this past year God has been so faithful as to develop my oldest son’s faith through the most difficult of circumstances with friends and sports. He played football this year mostly on varsity sideline with the exception of a couple games. He was every bit as talented, worked so hard, but refused to participate in enhancers and politics. It was a tough year, but what he gained after much conversation, prayer and everything the book talks about trusting in the ONE who gives us true identity was treasure beyond my wildest dreams. He is well respected on the team for his encouragement, his work ethic (no steroids), his standing in moral choices and faith and has a heart for the lost like I have never seen. He loves them. I have cried buckets of tears and my knees are worn because of this kiddo, but what I have seen has made me fall down on my face in worship of God like nothing else. I love who God is shaping him to be.

      Encouraged by your words and your son! I know God has great things in store for him and wonderful that you are showing him where his true identity is. Love that!

  17. Shelly

    Chapter 3: Agree? Disagree? Do you fit that stereotype?
    I definitely agree with that statement. A man never tells you “I’m married with three kids” he lists his job and responsibilities, a woman leads with her marital status most often. I can identify simply by saying that I never introduce myself as a missionary, but as a missionary wife. I don’t consider this my calling, but I support my husband’s decision to be here, so I am stereotyped immediately when introduced to someone – be it here as “the foreigner” or at home as “the missionary”.
    Can you relate to that? How are you doing in the I-know-who-I-truly-am department?
    I was never one for self-examination in my 20’s I just did what was expected, so in the I-know-who-I-truly-am department, let’s say I’m in stage “discovery”.
    Chapter 4
    Has anyone ever tried to force you to become someone you just weren’t created to be?
    I don’t want to bad mouth people, so I will just say that as a child my parents were lead to believe that conformity was the key to raising non-rebellious kids. It backfired with most of us kids, but I was the peacemaker. I lost myself in the process of trying to keep that peace. Again, “discovery” at this point. 🙂
    If you’re a parent (or a teacher), have you ever been guilty of trying to “persuade” your child (or student) to be something just because that’s what you wanted?
    I am both parent and teacher and guilty, I am sure, of persuasive tactics. I am more and more conscious of it as I become more conscious of my own feelings. I think many times since we don’t take the time to know our own purpose we forget to take the time to think of another’s purpose and how sacred it is. My teenage daughter wants to be a fashion designer and as much as I think it’s SO NOT for me, I remind myself every time I encourage her to follow whatever path God might lead her to, that it’s his leading that matters, not mine. That’s so far out of the realm of the thinking in which I was raised, I can not express how liberating it was to think that I did not have the responsibility as parent to “find God’s will” for my child, but that each one could find it, and SHOULD find it by his leading alone!
    What do you make of that? Can you relate in any way?
    Pretending became a way of life for me… I’m a missionary/pastor’s wife remember? We’re supposed to be perfect, at least that’s what your church members will tell you. Something I’m not-so utterly not. It’s my biggest enemy, this game of pretending, and yet my easiest “out” when I can’t seem to get it together. If this one has a stage, let’s call it “reconditioning”. I don’t know if we rid ourselves of pretending completely, can we? Maybe I’ll keep reading on to the next chapters… 😉

    1. Marla Taviano

      Wow, Shelly. Lots of good stuff here! I love that you’re letting your daughter follow whatever God has given her a passion for. And man, I can’t imagine being a pastor’s wife. That’s a Given Name right there. Praying God helps you in this reconditioning phase!!

    2. Kathleen-NM

      Shelly, will post a little later, but wanted you to know I am so encouraged by your post your authenticity and your pursuit of God. One of my best friends is a pastor’s wife and I have learned so much from her. I truly believe it is the highest calling because you serve sometimes so selflessly behind the scenes, and hold much. When I pray for my friend it is with the utmost of respect and holding like Mary pondered those things that most would never know. I believe you will know God with a depth unlike most. He is is the God who sees and knows. I pray today that God will so surprise you in the weeks to come with your Secret Name. Blessings, sister

  18. Amy

    Hi Marla,
    Here are my thoughts on some of your questions…
    1. I think I have defined myself for my independence, my dependability and the ability to do things well. I know this because this is where I can become prideful and over the last two years, this is where satan has reminded me on several occasions that I don’t do any of these well anymore, because I am easily overwhelmed. It has been a journey of learning to be okay with what is…not what was or what it ‘should’ be.

    2. Yes. But not necesarily job, talent, future things….my parents would and continue to chalk me up as being overly emotional, high maintenance, rigid, judgmental…I don’t know if that qualifies as an answer to your question. Funny, they always encouraged me to be and pursue whatever career I wanted.

    3. I am guilty of trying to persuade my husband to do and be a certain way just because it’s what I want. It never works out well. 🙂

    4. God created us to live as our intended selves…which is our secret name, really. We are missing out when we try and live any other way…

  19. Stephanie your sister

    I wouldn’t say that there was someone else in my life who has tried to force me to become someone I’m not (I’m also so thankful for our wonderful parents!), but instead it’s me who’s sometimes forcing me to become someone I’m not. I have a serious issue with being my own worst critic and for some reason I have this image in my head of what I’m “supposed” to be and what the world “expects” me to be. Both of which are most likely wrong. I’ve been feeling it impressed upon my heart for the past year or so to listen and hear for what GOD wants me to be, not what I think I should be. But boy, it’s hard. My goal is to get to the place where not meeting someone else’s expectations (or what I presume are their expectations) doesn’t matter one bit in light of what God is telling me to be/ do in my life. I’m not there yet, to say the least.

  20. Denise

    Hello friend! 🙂

    So I am going to answer your questions and then write a post…it’s early and my brain is not wanting to form a cohesive post (yet I can use words like cohesive…)

    I definitely feel I MOSTLY live up to the stereotype of being a woman who is defined by her friends – but I think there is also a little man in me, because, while I don’t get paid to be a mom – I certainly look at it as my job and I want to be “that” mom at times, the one everyone looks up to because she’s mastering her job. And same with the job at Vista. I want to master it…I want people to know that I can do it…does this make sense?

    I think as I get older I am starting to figure out who I am. I still have a lot of questions, a lot of pain and junk to work through. I am going to write in my post a bit about this…lets just say growing up (and up until I got married) I never felt like I belonged in my family or mattered and that I had to be like my siblings…

    I truly am not sure if anyone has used me as a puppet or pawn…my parents never put that pressure on me..and I feel like because of not feeling like I belonged I kinda never worried about if someone was doing that, I’d do what I wanted…but I don’t know.maybe I totally over looked it

    I want to be the supportive mom. If parker wants to try something (like football -which I’d prefer he didn’t.) I am going to let him. And I won’t make him be in sports or music or drama.

    I agree with the final quote you put. If we are walking around pretending we are someone we aren’t, we aren’t going to find out who God wants us to be. We need to be who we are, allow all our faults, pains, non-perfections show so that God can show us who we are met to be, take the blinders off.

    Ok, off to make a post on my blog. Love ya friend.

    PS – I had no idea Kary went to Grace – good ol Winona Lake!

    1. Marla Taviano

      Thanks so much for sharing, Denise. I look forward to your post! And the fact that you mentioned being a “mom” kind of goes along with defining yourself by your relationships. Defining yourself as Parker’s mom. 🙂

  21. Marla

    I am just starting to dive into this book and in a few weeks our small (3 people) will be meeting to discuss the book! Very excited!! I always wanted a daughter like me, a tomboy at heart. What I got was a girly girl who loves to dress up and wear skirts, loves glittery things, loves dance class and loves pink (which I do not like at all) just to name a few. I found not getting her what she loves but getting her what I love. Not sure when it happened but I came to a realization that I was trying to supress what she wanted to be. I am now trying to let her be who God created her to be not what I want her to be. It is a struggle some days b/c I am still not a girly girl. I think I have been trying to figure out who I am for years now, maybe one day I’ll figure it all out. No one ever pushed me to be something thank goodness b/c I am sure it would have turned me off! It took me up until my last semester in college to really figure out what I wanted to get a degree in. I totally agree with the stereotype!!! If I look back on my college years I was all about who I was hanging out with and who could see me with them. I went to Penn State, big football school so if you were seen with any of the football players you must be someone! I thought I was special when people saw me talking or hanging out with them either in class or in town.

    Ok so I totally answered the questions out of order- oh well!

    1. Marla Taviano

      Well, that makes two Marlas who aren’t girly girls. 🙂 2 of my 3 girls went through girly phases, and now all 3 of them are pretty much tomboys.

      So glad you’re joining us, Marla, and with friends!!

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