So, I’m reading through my “novel” for the first time, and my initial edits are going swimmingly.
“Why do you put ‘novel’ in quotation marks?” you ask. Good question! Because I’ve read enough real novels in my day to refrain from lumping my first stab at fiction in with the published novels that grace library and bookstore shelves around the globe.
The day an honest-to-goodness publisher pays me money for a work of fiction (a made-up story, as opposed to my other books which are true) will be the day I call myself a novelist.
Anyway.
I mentioned yesterday that one of the main themes of the “novel” is in-laws. Without giving too much away, there’s a part of the book where I explore a little dilemma I like to call What in the World Am I Supposed to Call My In-Laws?
Have you experienced this?
For whatever reason, I have always been very, very intrigued by the names people use to refer to their in-laws (both to their face and when speaking about them to others). And on a related note, how they arrived at their decision.
Do you call your husband’s parents Mom and Dad? Mr. and Mrs.? Richard and Becky? Hey you?
And what about your husband? What does he call your parents? And are both parties okay with it?
Quite a few years ago, I asked friends, family, blog readers, complete strangers to fill out an in-law survey. I asked the “What do you call them?” question, and the (extremely varied) answers had me rolling. Rolling.
(Speaking of those surveys, if you filled one out, chances are you’ll be making an anonymous cameo appearance in my “novel.” Oh, yes.)
And you didn’t ask, but I call Gabe’s parents Rock and Janelle (their first names). It was his mom’s idea. And everybody’s happy with it. And yes, Rock is his dad’s given name.
For the longest time, he didn’t really call mine anything. Then my brother-in-law, Stewart, came up with something brilliant that changed everyone’s lives forever. Bethany, don’t ruin it! It’ll be in the book!
So, tell me:
If you’re married, what do you call your in-laws? What does your husband call his? How does everybody feel about the arrangement?
If you’re not married, but hope to be someday, play pretend. Ideally, what would you call your in-laws? What would your hubby call your folks?
I’m dying to know. (and I just may throw some of your answers into my “novel” just for fun!)
p.s. Thank you SO much for your awesome responses to yesterday’s post! Y’all are the sweetest, most giving people EVER. I’ve boxed up a ton of Blushing Bride books, and I don’t want to stop. Let me know if you want some! Details here. I’ll talk more about all the giving opportunities next week! Have a wonderful weekend!
I call his parents by their first names (per their request when we were dating). But don’t think I will every be comfortable calling them “Mom and Dad.” That is such a special, significant title to me, especially since I am so close with my parents. And while my in-laws ARE my family, they are not my mom and dad.
One thing that makes the name thing easier is that my two SILs also call them by their first names, and never call them “mom and dad.” I imagine it would be awkward if I was the only DIL that didn’t call them “Mom and Dad.”
If I’m talking about them I’ll usually say “mom-in-law and father-in-law” or “Devin’s mom and dad”. I LOVE the brilliance that Stew came up with but haven’t found the gumption to call my in-laws by a cute nickname yet.
If, as Amber mentioned, we are addressing a card or tag we’ll say “Dad and Mom H.” or “Dad and Mom R.” and sign the biological child’s name first.
His grandma is the tough one for me too. Again, I don’t feel comfortable calling her “grandma” but using her first name seems disrespectful to me. Calling her “Mrs.” seems much too formal.
My husband called my parents “Mr. and Mrs.” (per their request) while we were dating/engaged. But now that formality is a little awkward so he doesn’t really call them anything. He just talks to them (like Elizabeth mentioned). While Devin says he would be comfortable with it, I’ve asked him not to call my parents “Mom and Dad” because it makes me feel awkward (if he calls my parents “mom and dad” but I won’t call his “mom and dad”).
The in-laws don’t have any wicked nicknames because they are honestly very kind and loving people.
I’m with Jess….the topic totally gives me hives.
When I first met Christian’s folks they insisted I call them “Mr. and Mrs.”. Being the rebel that I am, I refused and called them by their first names.
Once we got married they never TOLD me, but hinted around that I should call them “mom and dad”. Couldn’t do it. Can’t do it. To me…..I have ONE mom, and ONE dad. Enough said.
Wait, Tiffani…Adam’s not your brother, is he? Anyhoo.
I call mine by their first names. My grandmother said I should call them Mother and Father last name. Couldn’t choke that out if you put chocolate on it, so, it’s first names. Big does the same. If we were closer, I’d lurve to come up with a pet name which meant mom/dad, but wasn’t mom/dad. Know what i mean? However, I’d die smiling if one of my kids’ spouses called me mom–or even wanted to.
HA! This is hysterical!
I thought I was the only one who was panicked about what I was suppose to call my in laws! I tried to avoid calling them anything for the longest time… I just couldn’t call them their first names… and they are so sweet and precious so I have no clue why! I would call them Dr and Mrs G… then thank goodness we had kids!!! So I call them their grandparent name… Tuzy and Docie… SO freeing! Finally can relax!
My husband called my Mom, Big Emmy(before kids) and Boppie(her grandmother name) now. He has always called my Dad, Bishop. He wasn’t near as nervous about it all as I was! Too funny!
Can’t wait to read your book!
what a fun post to read! phil and i called each others parents by mr. and mrs. back in highschool when we were friends and first dating. after we got engaged (im pretty sure it was before we were married) we talked to the parents and asked them what they wanted to be called and first names were ok, though mom/dad would have been fine, too. we were the first kids in the families to get married and have to come up with names for the in-laws. everyone seems fine and comfortable with the first name arrangement.
i am very close to my MIL, so sometimes i feel like i should want to call her “mom” (also very close to my own mother), but since we are all comfortable with this first name arrangement, i try not to think about it or feel bad about it. i dont think the name necessarily shows “closeness” or what kind of relationship we have.
sometimes i call the in-laws memaw and papa- what caiden named them, but the first time i called my MIL “memaw” when i was talking to her in a normal conversation, i started cracking up! it was funny to me, that memaw became “normal” in conversation.
I call my in-laws Mom and Dad. However, I have made it a point never to refer to my in-laws as Mom and Dad when I’m talking to my parents. My husband doesn’t often *call* my parents Mom and Dad mostly because he doesn’t usually need to, but if he’s talking to my mom, he refers to my dad as “Dad” and vice versa. We’ve never really talked about it, so I don’t know how everyone feels about it.
I think I’m in a minority here to say that I call my in laws Mom and Dad…It used to be Mom T and Dad T….now, with the kids, it’s usually Nana and Popi…
If I’m upset and want to discuss it with my husband…then it’s YOUR MOM and YOUR DAD…
If I’m pretty okay and all is well…then, it’s just back to Mom and Dad…or just by pass it all the way and do what another gal mentioned above…just start talking and make sure they know I’m directing the conversation at them…
And I must say that this is all very weird considering that I call my stepmom Patty whom I”ve known longer than either one of my husband’s parents…but oh well…
Anthony calls my parents Mom, Dad, Bruce and Patty…we’ve got moms and dads comin’ out our ears…
Can’t wait to read you “novel”!!! YIPPEE
I’m in the same camp as lots o’ folks around here. I call my in-laws by their first name. My sister-in-law calls them ‘Mom & Dad’ though – yes, it’s very awkward to me, but isn’t much of life awkward. Oh, and my SIL reads this blog too, so I’m sure she’ll see this. My husband always jokes at home that my SIL is the favorite because she calls them mom and dad.
I love my in-laws and have always called them by their names Billy and Cherry.
But, once the kids came, I call them Kiki and Poppa (of course, what the kids call them).
I always thought it was a little weird if I said “Mom” or “Dad” b/c that’d sound like Adam was my brother. Ew.
I call my MIL Mom (Mike and I have been together since we were mid-teenagers and he’s an only child….she loves me as her own and I’m closer to her than I am my own mom) and I call his step-dad Jim…he didn’t enter the picture until a few years ago. I call his grandparents grandma and grandpa….again they love me as “their own”.
He calls my mom, dad, and stepmom by their first names…not any sort of closeness there. Hubby however does call my grandma…”grammy”..the same thing I call her.
We used first names…when I had them.
just by their first names. calling them mom and dad would be super weird for me. if the kids are around i call them mamaw and gampa (what the kids call them). my husband mostly called my mom by her first name, but on occasion it’s ‘mom’ or ‘nana’ (name the grandbabies use)