Today has been a little blah. Feeling a little burdened by the thought of leaving friends and family in just 79 days for a country we love, but where our future is mostly unknown.
Feeling overwhelmed by all we have to do/buy/wrap up before we go.
And also regretting that I “signed up” to blog for 31 days about unschooling.
I guess I’m not really regretting it. Just aspects of it. For one, unschooling is not my whole life. And I’m getting a little tired of focusing on it exclusively.
For another, there’s a reason I haven’t talked about it a ton in the past. It’s because it can be alienating to people who have chosen a different path.
Another reason: it’s so easy to be misunderstood. And the thought of expending all sorts of time and energy to clarify/justify/defend myself? Exhausting.
For example, I regretted Tuesday’s post (“pros & cons“) soon after I pressed publish. The list didn’t sit well with me for several reasons. 1.) It just felt a little lame, kind of boring. And incomplete.
2.) My cons list was more tongue-in-cheek than anything (but I didn’t really explain that). I mentioned that there is no test to see how my kids compare to normal ones, but that’s not really a con, because I don’t care. I mentioned that my kids might be behind on fashion trends. Again, couldn’t care less. (and so on and so forth)
3.) As one reader pointed out, all of my pros could’ve applied to regular ol’ homeschooling as well. True. I purposely didn’t pit unschooling against homeschooling (or public schooling, etc). I just shared some of the things we love about unschooling. Honestly, I didn’t share some of the things that uniquely apply to unschooling, because I couldn’t figure out how to say them without offending people who’ve made different choices.
Such is the dilemma-ridden life of someone who blogs on the big wide Internet.
I’m often torn between clarifying things I’ve written & asking myself, “Really? Do you really think you can clear up everyone’s misconceptions of your writing? And is that what you want to spend your day doing?”
No. No, it’s not.
I will say this in response to a reader who was unhappy that I’m being “unfair and dishonest” about homeschooling at large when I’ve only been doing this for a few years (she’s a long-time homeschooler):
I have never claimed to be an expert. On anything really. I had Amazon reviewers angry that I’d dared to write a book about sex when I was too young to know how menopause affects your sex life with your husband.
As if we all have to wait until we’re 50 to say something of value.
I am a FIRM believer that one can write about her personal experience at any point on her journey. And most of the time I’m fine with sharing that journey with others.
Other times (like today), I’m ready to throw in the towel and say, “You know what? Life would be much simpler if I just lived it instead of blogging it.”
Since when did I think it was fun to be an open book?
So. I may take a break.
Or, who knows? I might find fresh wind for my sails come tomorrow.
Actually, I feel a little better already.