That’s the title of one of my favorite chapters in Changing Your World One Diaper at a Time, and I got soooo much mileage out of it in my decade-long speaking career.
Because comparing ourselves to other moms is a disease we just can’t seem to cure.
Hold on a second.
(We interrupt this Mommy Blogging for a Public Service Announcement. At church yesterday, it was Baby Dedication day. So sweet, so happy. But while all the babies were up front cooing and fidgeting, my heart suddenly dropped. God placed a BIG-TIME burden on me for all the beautiful, amazing women who would be caused great pain by witnessing a baby dedication. Women who want to conceive and can’t or never had children and wanted them. And women who would love to be married and have a family, but they aren’t. So I closed my eyes and blocked out the cute babies and cried out to God on behalf of so, so many women. If you are one of them, I would LOVE to pray for you. You can email me here.)
(PSA, Part 2: And friends who will never have children and/or don’t want to, PLEASE hear me validate you as a woman & a beloved child of God. For so, so long–and still–Christians have defined women by their marital status and the size of their brood. A woman without a husband and children is less than. NO MORE. I could talk about this for a long time… I’ll just leave it at I LOVE YOU.)
(We will be back to our regularly-scheduled programming–i.e. not-mommy blogging–soon.)
An excerpt from the book:
Motherhood has more denominations than the Protestant church. And each of us usually thinks her mommy doctrinal statement is superior to the rest.
We can all too easily get caught up in competing with each other, comparing ourselves to one another, and judging anyone who does things differently than we do.
I’m going to make a bold statement: Believe it or not, I think we moms can all get along, regardless of our parenting philosophies.
I think we can choose to nurse our babies or bottle-feed, rock our babies or let them cry it out, wear our babies or wear bikinis, and so on (and on and on) and still love each other as fellow travelers on the same journey.
Yes, I have my own ideas about how parenting should work (at least in theory, even if I can’t seem to implement all of them in real life). But I’m not here to criticize your personal mothering choices–not for a minute.
For the purposes of this book, I’m claiming nondenominational motherhood. I’m just going to sit up here on the fence, straddle it happily, and do what I can to appeal to moms on both sides.
In the words of my wise cousin, Kyla, “Moms should be more supportive of each other. As women, we are all unique. As moms, we are equally unique. So, unless someone’s feeding the baby Mountain Dew and crack for breakfast, ease up.”
Oh, wait. I promised funny stories. Give me a sec.
August 15, 2006
Ava (4) came up from the basement this morning after searching unsuccessfully for her new notebook and said in a loud, annoyed voice that sounded uncannily like mine, “Where in the HECK is it?!” I tried to tell her that we don’t say things like that (heck). Er, rather, we (I) do say things like that, but it doesn’t sound very nice, so we’re (I’m) going to stop.
August 16, 2006
Ava came inside tonight, tried to go down to the basement, and said, “I can’t open the STINKIN’ door!” Um, why is she repeating everything I say all of a sudden. It’s almost a joke to her now, because 15 seconds later, she looks at Livi, smiles, and says, “That’s a bunch of stinkin’ crap.” Okay, it’s official. I must clean up my mouth. Thankfully, I’m not a cusser, but I use lots of substitutes when I’m ticked (freakin’, stinkin’, crap). Not so edifying. Not what I want my preschool daughters to be saying at church.
August 18, 2006
Ava is still testing the waters…my mom watched the girls today, and when something happened that frustrated Ava, she said, “Oh, CRAP!” We had a little talk, and I have been convicted.
(One Diaper at a Time is available for the Kindle for just $2.99 right now! Get it while it’s hot!)
Marla the Mommy Blogger (stop laughing!)