Well. I, for one, am not sad to see February go. Be gone, foul beast! And take the frigid cold with you.
Oh, the irony of carving out 28 days to blog about Real. Hard. Love. and not blogging all 28 days because of some Real. Hard. Life.
I think yesterday just might’ve ranked up there in my Top 10 All-Time Hardest Days. Or maybe I’ve successfully blocked out a bunch of other really bad ones. Hoooooo baby. It was zero (ZERO) fun.
If my marriage survived yesterday, I’m convinced it can survive ANYTHING. A whole bunch of shipooty up and LAID THE SMACK DOWN ON THE FAN. And it’s a miracle (I’m not exaggerating) that I went from some pretty intense feelings of hatred to the feelings of love I have today.
It was ugly. I was ugly. Thank you, Jesus, for rescuing me from the edge of the pit.
And just in time to spend this morning in tears over an entirely unrelated matter. And I was so thankful to have my sympathetic husband back on my team to comfort me.
I got a text from a sweet girl last night who is in a tough, TOUGH marriage. Her situation and mine ironically have many similar elements, but hers are so, so much more severe. She asked for prayer and words of wisdom, and all I had was the prayer part. And the “I get this” part.
If nothing else, these last 16 months have given me street cred, so to speak, in the handing-out-marriage-advice department. Who did I think I was all those other years telling people how to do marriage? Holy cow.
Yesterday I was an angry bitter mess. Today I am broken and battered. BUT. I’m not going to do the victim/martyr/whatever else bull crap label I could give myself.
I’m determined not to whine or complain or mope or give up hope or count my burdens one by one.
I’m also not going to try to pull myself up and out by my own belt loops, flip flops, whatever.
I AM going to humble myself and accept forgiveness and stand firm in these trials and milk ‘em for every last ounce of whatever God wants to teach me in them.
And I thank you kindly for your sweet words of love and encouragement, because they sure as heck help. xoxoxo
March, I love you and welcome you with open arms! Particularly if you’re bringing with you warm breezes, chirping birds, sunshine, and green things. Amen.