love hurts {grand finale except not}

Well. I, for one, am not sad to see February go. Be gone, foul beast! And take the frigid cold with you.

Oh, the irony of carving out 28 days to blog about Real. Hard. Love. and not blogging all 28 days because of some Real. Hard. Life.

I think yesterday just might’ve ranked up there in my Top 10 All-Time Hardest Days. Or maybe I’ve successfully blocked out a bunch of other really bad ones. Hoooooo baby. It was zero (ZERO) fun.

If my marriage survived yesterday, I’m convinced it can survive ANYTHING. A whole bunch of shipooty up and LAID THE SMACK DOWN ON THE FAN. And it’s a miracle (I’m not exaggerating) that I went from some pretty intense feelings of hatred to the feelings of love I have today.

It was ugly. I was ugly. Thank you, Jesus, for rescuing me from the edge of the pit.

And just in time to spend this morning in tears over an entirely unrelated matter. And I was so thankful to have my sympathetic husband back on my team to comfort me.


I got a text from a sweet girl last night who is in a tough, TOUGH marriage. Her situation and mine ironically have many similar elements, but hers are so, so much more severe. She asked for prayer and words of wisdom, and all I had was the prayer part. And the “I get this” part.

If nothing else, these last 16 months have given me street cred, so to speak, in the handing-out-marriage-advice department. Who did I think I was all those other years telling people how to do marriage? Holy cow.

Yesterday I was an angry bitter mess. Today I am broken and battered. BUT. I’m not going to do the victim/martyr/whatever else bull crap label I could give myself.

I’m determined not to whine or complain or mope or give up hope or count my burdens one by one.

I’m also not going to try to pull myself up and out by my own belt loops, flip flops, whatever.

I AM going to humble myself and accept forgiveness and stand firm in these trials and milk ’em for every last ounce of whatever God wants to teach me in them.

And I thank you kindly for your sweet words of love and encouragement, because they sure as heck help. xoxoxo

March, I love you and welcome you with open arms! Particularly if you’re bringing with you warm breezes, chirping birds, sunshine, and green things. Amen.

12 thoughts on “love hurts {grand finale except not}

  1. John McCollum

    I can’t figure out whether I want February 2013 to be gone, or if I want a do-over. It sucked pretty royally on a number of levels.

  2. Beth in the City

    Yesterday was hard here too. So glad it’s over, even though dawn brought it’s own challenges. Hugs. Hang on!

  3. Madi

    Sending prayers your way! Thank you for your encouragement in sharing!

    I picked up your ITAHTA book and it has been a HUGE blessing for me. I read it in two days and am rereading it! We are 3 months away from our wedding, and ITAHTA has helped me shed a lot of baggage related to the confusing messages I received growing up from the church, society, etc. I’ve even shared some of your ideas with my mom and she just ordered it (they are going on 37+ years and if they can make it that far, you certainly can!)

    You have helped us to talk about some things I never thought about before. My future hubby and I thank you so much! You are a blessing. Thank you to you and Gabe for sharing your life and struggles – you encourage and lift up others!

  4. wanda

    Girl, you are the real thing! I totally relate to you and I say to other’s in my life that are struggling with “stuff” (marriage)…..IF my hubby & I can make it, ANYBODY can make it!
    We’ve had some real life garbage happen during our 23+ years of marital bliss and God has preserved us IN SPITE OF US!!!

    Marriage is tough! Loving someone that you want to kill sometimes is hard! But God is so good to pour out HIS GRACE & MERCY….over & over!

    We missed your weekend in Danville IN & we were really bummed! My hubby even read up on a couple of your books.
    (Possibly, to get lucky!) haha

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