Last night, sometime after midnight, I turned off my computer, walked upstairs, and flipped on the hall light so I could check on our girlies before heading to bed. It’s a little ritual I’ve done since forever, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
I typically touch each one of them on whichever body part I can reach (the three of them share two twin beds). It’s not a superstitious thing–I just like to touch sleeping children. Sometimes I’ll squeeze bare toes peeking out of a blanket or kiss a forehead flushed with sleep-sweat. And sometimes I’ll be caught off guard by the emotion that surges up inside my chest, and tears will spring to my eyes.
Last night was one of those times.
I fingered a stray blond ringlet and thought, “Could I really follow Jesus wherever he asks me to go, even if it means losing this precious little girl?”
I could hardly breathe for the pain in my chest, and that’s when I knew. I’m not as radical as I think I am.
Oh, I’m more radical than I was yesterday. More radical than before I went to Cambodia in July. More radical than at least 60% of you (ha!). But wow. I’ve got a long journey ahead of me.
I can’t help but think of Pastor (he has a name, but everyone just calls him Pastor), a short-statured, huge-hearted Cambodian man who lives with his wife and not-yet-2-year-old son in one of the hardest places to live in all of Southeast Asia. A hub for child trafficking, a playground for unspeakable evil. He lives right in the middle of it all and preaches Jesus and models Jesus and radically abandons all safety and comfort that little ones might be rescued and that pimps and brothel owners might come to Christ.
Pastor made such a huge impact on me when we visited his village that I still don’t have words for it two months later. I couldn’t listen to him without crying as he told story after story of people coming to his clinic desperate for relief from their pains and illnesses. “I give them multi-vitamin and Jesus,” he would say with his mile-wide grin. “When no other doctor or hospital or medicine could help, Jesus healed them.”
And then he told us how he preaches to the 300+ people who find their way to his church and tells them, “Your children are a gift from God. They are not like animals. They are not to be sold.” And then he tells the brothel owners who have also come, “You are doing a very bad thing. If you want to follow Jesus, you must stop what you are doing and live how he wants you to live.”
Can you imagine?
I don’t necessarily think God is calling me to pastor a church in Cambodia (although I wouldn’t put it past him to call Gabe…). I just know that in some way, shape, or form, that what Pastor has? That’s what I want for my life.
I don’t know how many more of my possessions God wants me to sell/give away. I don’t know what it means when Jesus tells us we have to hate our parents and spouse and kids. I don’t know if we’re supposed to live radically in Columbus, OH or take our Radical Freak Show on the road or around the globe. I don’t know if it’s okay to drink Starbucks coffee (or eat Pei Wei) when 26,000 kiddos are dying every day.
I don’t know if it’s pointless to talk to groups of women about sex or parenting or even finding rest in God when BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE LOST.
I don’t know how to respond in 800 words to a chapter that rocked my world every other paragraph.
And that’s why I’m so thankful for all of you. I’m counting on you to stand in the gap for me. To answer all my questions and fill in all my blanks and elaborate and extrapolate where I just can’t.
Didn’t know what you were signing up for, did you?
I’ll probably end up “cheating” and writing blog posts on my thoughts on Chapter 1 at least once (and maybe more) in the days to come. I just can’t go back to business as usual after the mess God is making of my heart.
So, go ahead and link to your awesome posts about Chapter 1. (And don’t forget to include a link to this post in your own post, so your readers can read what others have written, if they’re so inclined.) I’m going to click on every single one of them and read every single word if it takes me until October.
If you don’t have a blog but want to share your thoughts in the comments, HAVE AT IT. And if you want a smidge of direction, here are a couple questions to get you started:
1. “Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple,” says Jesus. What in the world are we supposed to think about this??
2. How have you been molding Jesus into your image (lately or your whole life)?
Thank you sooooo much to everyone who is investing time and energy into reading this book and responding! I’ve already witnessed some amazing things–all glory to God! If you don’t have a book yet and want to join us, it’s NEVER too late!! Just catch up as you can!
Thanks for another informative blog. Where else may just I
get that type of info written in such an ideal manner?
I’ve a challenge that I’m just now operating on, and I’ve been on the glance out for such info.
Um, WOW! I can’t put this book down! I already know I’m going to want to read it again. So powerful and convicting. So true. I loved the contrast between the church in Asia and the multi-million dollar churches that we have in the U.S. They truly risk their lives to worship Christ and we throw on jeans and show up late with our lattes. Not that jeans and lattes are bad…just like Platt said, “we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable”. And how powerful to think that we are rearranging Jesus into our image, the image of one who doesn’t judge, who doesn’t condemn, who is easy. When in reality, he is SO much more than that.
He does call us to be different, to be radical. But I know that I am not. I know that I am more radical than some, and much less radical than others! I want to be more like Christ. To be more radical. Sigh. This morning at church I felt like God was telling me to give up something VERY superficial and VERY frivolous and to give that money to others. And as I sat in the service, I argued with God about my need to give up that SILLY, vain thing. And I’m ashamed to say it was HARD to say yes. Because it is something I love, and something I think that “I deserve”. But I am submitting, I am saying yes on this very small thing…in hopes that I will be able to more easily give up or change my life on the next thing He convicts me of. So, no, I am not yet radical…but maybe on my way?
I am having trouble processing the first chapter and all the comments. I guess Todd Agnew’s song, “My Jesus,” accurately states my case: MORE THAN ANYTHING, I WANT TO BE LIKE JESUS!! But, what am I willing to sacrifice my comfort to be like him???
Which Jesus do you follow? Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ Then why do you look so much like the world?
Cause my Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant So which one do you want to be?
Blessed are the poor in spirit or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land? Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand?
Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins. He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars. He loved the poor and accosted the rich. So which one do you want to be?
Who is this that you follow, this picture of the American dream? If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet?
Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion … Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins? But the Word says He was battered and scarred
or did you miss that part? Sometimes I doubt we’d recognize Him.
Cause my Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and the least of these. He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable So which one do you want to be?
Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet. But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud. I think He’d prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd.
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud I want to be like my Jesus! I want to be like my Jesus! Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus. You see I’m tired of living for success and popularity. I want to be like my Jesus but I’m not sure what that means to be like You Jesus, cause You said to live like You, love like You, but then You died for me. Can I be like You Jesus? I want to be like my Jesus!
I love that song, Diane! We have that CD.
This is so hard to read! Pray, Marla!
I’m praying for you, Sharon! Are things getting any easier??
I was reading John this morning and thought I would share this scripture with you.
Jesus said to them, My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work. John 4:34
That is pretty clear. I want to be more like Jesus. I say that as I prepare to go to Starbucks for a too expensive coffee and breakfast sandwich. I want Jesus’ will to be my food not Starbucks. I am so glad He loves me so much even though He knows everything about me. I love unconditional love. I love Jesus.
My Goodness! OVER 60 responses! Amazing!
This book has been so powerful, thank you Marla for launching this gathering. I will post later. I have decided to ask for Christmas that my family read through this with me. I have asked my husband of 20 years, and sons 16 and 13 that we would read and digest one chapter at a time and that at the end our reading, our celebration would end in a different, prayerful type of giving. This would be radical. I love what God is doing.
I am undone…
I am reading, praying, seeing more clearly.
Wow, Kathleen. What a Christmas gift!
I haven’t written my post yet, but the “radical” things that God is doing in our little church would blow you away. He is showing us (my preacher-husband and I) how He is able to deal when Satan tries to stop a God-Explosion.
I can’t wait to hear about it, Patty!!