Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:6-11 (ESV)

Two or three years ago (ish), this chapter would’ve made little to no impact on me. A complete “waste” of my time, if you will. I could’ve written these words from p. 118:

Does “creation” have anything to do with God whom I call “Creator”? Oh, pish posh. Surely God isn’t worried about how we handle His creation that He created. His main concern is making His followers happy and prosperous, yes? And if we need to consume the rest of His creation to make us happy, then I’m sure God doesn’t mind.

And these: Only Democrats and loosey-goosey liberals care about the earth. It’s a giant conspiracy to distract us from the abortion and gay issues, which evidently are the only subjects worth worrying about.

Cough, cough, choke. I am horrifically embarrassed and ashamed to admit that that is EXACTLY what I used to think. And a few months ago, I mustered up enough courage to write An Apology to Democrats (and Jesus), but goodness, it sure felt a bit too-little-too-late. Good thing it’s never too late to tell Jesus you’re sorry.

So, today’s topic: WASTE. But first, another list of excuses for why I won’t be as engaged in today’s discussion as I’d love to be. My beloved Grandma died this weekend, and family is going to start pouring in from all kinds of places. Soccer started tonight (Monday), one of my daughters is sick, Gabe is still struggling (but I’ve got some good news to share on that front), and I’m speaking at a MOPS group tomorrow at 9:30 a.m.

That’s why I’m not going to say a whole lot of my own stuff or copy down every quote of Jen’s I found hilarious (like how she’d rather have her saliva permanently transmuted to urine than spend extended time at the mall–AMEN.).

I’m going to ask you 1 question, and then ask you to share YOUR story. And I’m going to urge you to be honest and bold, even if you haven’t even begun to do one single thing right in this area yet. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I can pretty much guaranteed it.

Here we go!

1. Which of Jen’s 7 Habits for a Greener Life are you already doing, and which are you hankering (or feeling convicted) to try? And what things would you add?

Gardening
Composting
Conserving energy and water
Recycling
Driving only one car
Shopping thrift and second-hand
Buying only local

2. Tell us your green/waste/earth day/creation care story. Your past story, your now story, what you’d love your story to be someday. Be honest, be real. If you’re already awesome at this, try to be humble so we don’t hate you. Just tell your story. We love stories!

Hey, friends. I’m going to take a little time to love on (and be loved on by) my family. I’ll see you back here on Tuesday for Chapter 5 of our Read-a-Long.

And funny, but I didn’t realize until justthisminute that this little break will fit in perfectly with this week’s chapter on Media. Nice.

See you in a few days. Thanks again (so much!) for praying for me and my fam.

Yesterday around 5:30 pm, instead of making dinner, I was sitting at my computer (oh, the irony). In my “defense,” I had spent three hours drinking coffee and eating lunch with a friend (while our kiddos played), then chatted with a new friend who showed up unexpectedly at my friend’s door, then taken the girls to a park for an hour and bought bread from a local bakery (spinach feta–yum!), and we’d each had a big ol’ slice and weren’t super hungry.

Anyway.

All of a sudden there was a little body pressed up against me, her warm breath in my ear. “Why is Daddy crying?” she whispered.

I turned to look at her, and my heart instantly broke at the sight of big tears pooled in her eyes and dripping down her cheeks.

“Let’s go see,” I said, taking her hand and leading her up the stairs.

Sure enough, Daddy was lying in bed, holding a pillow, face contorted in anguish, his cheeks also wet with tears.

In five seconds’ time, there were five of us in the bed, everyone crying but me. Someone had to be strong, huh? And I was, until I looked in Nina’s little eyes and watched her shoulders heaving, and I started crying too.

Tears would’ve been abnormal for Gabe up until two months ago, but not now. That doesn’t change the fact, though, that anytime the girls see him crying, they immediately burst into tears themselves.

Nina asked me again why daddy was crying, so I asked him. He couldn’t talk, but I knew. He cries the most when he thinks of the girls and how he doesn’t feel like he’s being the daddy they need right now. And he knows his tears bother them, but then he gets even more sad and can’t stop crying.

I asked the girls if they wanted to pray, and they said yes. So I prayed long and hard for Daddy’s healing and for the devil to get the heck out of our house and for us not to be worried or fearful and on and on.

And while I knew there had to be some kind of beautiful metaphor in the five of us crying and crying out to God flat on our backs in a bed together, all I could feel was helpless.

I knew Gabe wanted and needed me to hold him and comfort him, and I knew the girls needed to leave the room and find a healthy distraction so they didn’t worry about Daddy. But I couldn’t help Gabe and the girls both.

So I chose the girls with Gabe’s blessing. We went downstairs and put on Sound of Music. I’m not a movie-watcher, so snuggling on the couch with Mama watching a movie is a gift for my girlies.

After 20 minutes, we decided we needed popcorn, so we paused Maria, and Livi made popcorn while I checked on Gabe. He had moved from the bed to sitting in the corner, looking at his laptop and crying even harder.

This was the picture on his screen.

I kissed him and told him everything was going to be okay. The girls were going to be okay. We would have hundreds more moments like that one (well, until the girls are all too big to ride on Daddy’s shoulders) and that they love him so, so much no matter what.

Before the movie was even over, things had gotten better. And I know people are praying, and I’m so thankful. And Gabe and I had a good night. And I feel full of hope.

Right this minute (1:30pm Wednesday) Gabe’s at a lunch meeting that he’s been worried about (will I have a panic attack?). Then immediately following that, he has a date with Nina at Dave & Buster’s. He’s had to postpone it a couple times already, and his last Daddy-Daughter Date (with Livi) ended with him in tears. He just doesn’t want to ruin this one.

Will you pray for him, that his date goes beautifully? That God will take his fear away and he’ll see nothing but his little girl’s eyes lighting up as she flits from one ridiculous arcade game to the next? And then on to an ice cream treat somewhere?

Thank you, friends.

We serve a big God. I’m so thankful for HOPE.

EDIT (4:22pm): Gabe and Nina’s date was a smashing success. Bless your beautiful hearts for praying, friends!!

Before I take up one more line of text, I just want to say a big ol’ THANK YOU to each one of you who has faithfully (or semi-faithfully) commented/blogged during the read-along. I know it’s not easy to stick with when there are a zillion things yanking for your attention.

Believe me, I know. Family issues. Racial reconciliation and justice stuff. Self-employment taxes (the bane of my existence right now). Yeah. Anyway.

So, thank you. You rock. And those of you who meant to be following along more closely but haven’t, no worries. I get it. Feel free to hop in as you can.

So, we might as well just get this out on the table: I love the internet. I just wrote a whole e-book about its awesomeness (would love to tell you when it will release, but my web guy has a full plate at the moment). I’ve been blessed by the internet in a zillion more ways in the past few years than I could even begin to tell you.

I don’t really plan to give it up. Not for Lent, not for this week, not for ever. Besides, I don’t reeeeally have a problem with it. Seriously. Out of the 24 media apparatus(es?) Jen listed, we only have 8. Hooray for us!

Oh, and 3 iPod Touches and 4 Kindles. Oops. Does it help that our Kindles were f-r-e-e? No? Okay then.

I don’t even watch TV or movies (except maybe the occasional Netflix documentary), so that part’s easy to “give up” (I’m pretty sure that books should count as media though, because that’s where you’re gonna nail me.).

I’m not even one of those people whose smart phone is attached to her hand. I can actually go to your house and have a 3-hour conversation with you without looking at my phone (even if you can’t). And I know about 20 of you who think I’m talking to YOU right now, but I’m not. My smart phone addict friends outnumber the non-addicts about 32 to 1.

HOWEVER.

I do love my computer. Actually, I love Gabe’s more, but when his isn’t available, I love mine. I get on it about 436 times a day. Last week, my friend Amber was here for 3 days, and I spent sooo much less time on the computer. “What are we going to do when Amber leaves?” Ava asked. “What do you mean?” I said. “What did we do before she came?”

“You were on the computer allllllllllll day long.”

Well.

I do spend time with God each morning before I turn my computer on. I journal and read my Bible and the day’s reading from Common Prayer and Jesus Calling (a gift from Amber). I pray for people and ask God for wisdom for my day.

But at least 50% of the time, I start to get that little itch to get online well before God’s done talking to me. I think it’s super-duper easy to put the internet ahead of God and say we just don’t “have time” to spend with him.

Not. True.

And I know this post sounds all jumpy and not very meaty, but I’m just out of steam for the day. Three little questions, and I’m gonna shut her down and go to bed.

Up for Discussion:

1. Jen says she doesn’t want her kids to be more comfortable interacting with a computer screen than a human being. If you have kids, is this a concern for you? What kinds of boundaries have you put in place to keep it from happening? (if you don’t have kids, you can answer it for yourself.)

2. This isn’t just media-related, but Jen talks about not even recognizing the person she used to be. For most of her life, she was chasing meaningless stuff instead of justice and mercy. I can so relate, and it’s so easy to beat myself up for all my wasted years. But she reminds us that, “self-hatred is not appropriate when God reveals a new angle.” How do you adjust to new truths God teaches you, learning from your past mistakes without wallowing in them?

3. “I discovered others didn’t need me to be as wired as I thought. Most of my media involvement is simply about me (blah).” GUILTY. Do you, like me, fall into the yucky trap of making the internet all about you, you, you, instead of others? How can we fix this?

BONUS: If you hate all these questions, ask and answer one of your own. Or tell me what your biggest struggle with media is. Or anything else that’s on your mind.

Thanks for all your wonderful insights and opinions. I’m loving this dialogue and the peek inside your brains! Hope your day is filled with sunshine and kittens!