whaddya do with a valentine scrooge?

Yeah, the scrooge would be me. I don’t know what to say. I just can’t help it. I’ve tried to examine my heart and see if there’s anything buried deep inside that keeps me from enjoying this holiday.

But I got nothin.

So I’m pretty sure it’s just my practical, pragmatic nature (except for the parts of me that are outrageous and spontaneous) that balks at celebrating something just because everyone else is. And spending money on frivolous, pointless things when there are bills to be paid and mission trips to take and orphans going hungry.

I didn’t give much thought today to Valentine’s Day as it pertains to my husband and me. He helped me get all this free e-book stuff together (you just missed it–doggone!) and whatnot, and shoot if that wasn’t gift enough for me. Because Valentine’s day = mushy = dumb = let’s skip it, please.

My new friend Jolie (read her blog–you’ll love it!) even offered to keep our girls while we went on a V-Day date (her husband is a medical resident who works a bazillion hours a week and certainly doesn’t get time off for Hallmark holidays). I said thanks, Jolie, but no. We (I) hate Valentine’s Day. But come on over and we’ll have an Un-Valentine’s Party!

Well, then I invited my friend Pam to join us, but she was already having dinner with our friends Sean and Megan. So then Pam says, “How about Jolie and I watch all the kids, and you four (me, Gabe, Sean, Meg) go out?”

Well, Meg said thanks, but no (because she’s a fellow awesome V-day-hater but nicer), so we decided to all get together for pizza and Bezzerwizzer. SO MUCH FUN!

But, as I was waiting for Gabe to get home so we could leave, and he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late, I got this little uncomfortable feeling in my belly. “That little stinker… he BETTER not be buying me flowers or something… I DO NOT WANT TO CELEBRATE THIS DAY!”

So, what does Little Miss Scrooge do? She logs in to our bank’s website to see if there was any action on the check card in the past 20 minutes.

There was.

My heart sank, and I shook my head. Kroger. $30 freaking dollars. For flowers that WILL DIE IN TWO DAYS. I feel sick all over again just thinking about it.

I knew he was going to be home any minute, and I had to figure out how I was going to act both surprised and pleased when I was neither. “Be sweet,” I told myself. “Be grateful. He loves you. A lot. He just wants to make you happy. You are so blessed. DON’T BE AN IDIOT.”

He pulled in, and I tried to act cool. He had something behind his back. I could tell that he could tell that I was on to him.

“What?” he asked.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “When you didn’t come and didn’t come, I looked online at our checking account.”

“I knew it! I can’t do anything without you knowing!”

And he pulled out a single rose from behind his back.

My eyes got all big and my mind raced. They did NOT charge him $30 for a SINGLE ROSE. Tell me they didn’t! Please tell me they DIDN’T!”

And then he pulled out something else. A $25 Amazon gift card.

Oh my stinking word. Six square inches of pure love.

And I hugged him and told him I loved him and that I was so, so sorry for being such a scrooge and that I didn’t get him anything and he reminded me that I’ve never gotten him anything and that he has never NOT gotten me something and I was all, “Really?? You get me something every Valentine’s Day??”

I am such a loser.

But instead of moping about it, I’m just going to wrap things up here at my little computer, head upstairs, and pull a trick or two out of a book I once read (you have until noon Wednesday to leave a comment for a chance to win one, by the way).

Wink, wink. And sayonara!

26 thoughts on “whaddya do with a valentine scrooge?

  1. Christian

    I know my chance to win the e-book has already passed. I just wanted to say this post really made me laugh. My wife and I feel the same way about “Hallmark Day” and decided to celebrate this past Saturday with dinner at home with a delicious meal from Maggiano’s and homemade cards.

  2. Mary

    you sound just like me…it’s so funny. seth hates getting things for me because i always take them back and return them. but then if he doesn’t get me anything, i always feel sorry for myself. i don’t know why guys think we are so weird! 🙂

    (and i’m only posting this b/c i know seth would never read the comments on your blog in a million years)…did i ever tell you about how in college i checked his savings account b/c i was suspicious he was going to propose? the “0.00” tipped me off a little – ha! glad i have a fellow crazy.

  3. Nina

    I realized at 10:00 last night that we needed valentines for my daughter’s preschool class (for some reason, they celebrated it today rather than yesterday). I wasn’t about to go to Walmart to find some, even though they’d be half price, and I haven’t an artsy-craftsy bone in my body.

    So then I remembered I’d bought a handful of your valentine cards that you made last year when you were raising money for Cambodia, but I’d misplaced them and hadn’t used them for V-Day last year.

    Six kids + two teachers in her class; eight cards bought and not used last year. It took me all of five minutes to find them. Problem solved!

  4. Cheryl Pickett

    I’ve become less and less of a fan of valentine’s day over the years. A big part is like many of the comments so far, I’m not really into jewelry, flowers are okay, but not necessary and though I love certain kinds of chocolate, not a big deal to have them/get them on a particular day. Budget is also the biggest deal. My husb would likely do a fair amount if we had the budget, and if it meant more to me because he is a gift giver. I am to a lesser extent, usually when I find just the right thing and have the budget for it, no particular day needed. I think one key is just knowing our spouses’ love languages and do the best to make it all work on both sides. Trying 🙂

  5. jess the mess

    haha. love that story.
    my favorite part was when you tell yourself not to be an idiot. i tell myself that all the time and it never works. 🙂

    good for gabe for sticking to his guns but making it super-meaningful to YOU too!

    I’m the opposite. I got sassy w/ matt his weekend about how he never gets me anything for v-day. And then he’s all like, “Uh. Jess. I get you Dove chocolate every. single. year.” And I was like…”right. i’m an idiot. okay. then carry on with the dove chocolate.”

    It was a delicious 430 calories last night!!

    besides that…we don’t really do v-day. it sneaks up too fast after christmas.

    i love marla & gabe stories. so write some more!

  6. ali

    It would be totally uncool for Gabe to smack you, but one of these days, I just might!

    Let that man spoil you and stop checking the darn account.


  7. Bethany Peters

    I was also hoping today would be the announcement of our next book read along! You are KILLING me with the suspense!

  8. Bethany Peters

    I don’t get irritated at Valentine’s Day, but I did tell Stew please don’t buy me flowers. I really don’t like tall roses in a vase. Or expensive dainty jewelry. What a waste! Now Amazon gift card. That = awesome!!! I laughed at Jen’s #1 as well! I can totally relate!

    My personality doesn’t like Valentine’s Day because of all the tacky decorations (I am a very visual person. I also think it’s funny that you and Cherith have the same reasons for hating holidays–because everyone else is celebrating them). And how classes at school make you give valentines to every single student–if everyone gets one, then it’s not special! I have however been watching lots of romantic movies this past week in honor of the holiday–the good ones like The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Notebook, etc. and I am DYING to see The Vow, but I think I’ll just have to wait until it comes out on DVD. (But that probably fits in the “mushy” category for you, doesn’t it?) And if you notice a theme in movies I like, well there is (besides them all starting with the word “The” followed by a noun). Rachel McAdams. I love her and I’ve been trying to put my finger on why. I always want someone to ask me who my all-time favorite actress is so I can say, “Rachel McAdams! Hands down!”

    Sorry for all this babbling in your comments section. I don’t have a blog to write it on, so I thought I’d put it on yours! 😉

  9. Sharon

    I need to learn to be a V-day scrooge. My husband hates getting gifts, and giving them too. But, I always, always get him a gift for every holiday. He usually gets me a card, sometimes chocolates and on a few occasions he’s thought of a really great gift to surprise me with. When I got up on Vday, I put out a card I’d gotten for him (not just any card, personalized with our pic etc) and a finger painting our daughter made for him. I was really sad to see he hadn’t gotten me anything 🙁 I was in a bad mood. He came home at lunch time while I went to a Dr appt. When I got home I was still in a bad mood. He went back to work. I walked into the kitchen. And was shocked to see flowers in a vase!!! He has NEVER bought me flowers (well besides one Vday when we were dating, I think I got me a single rose). But, you know what??? I’m still mad!!! Why didn’t he get the flowers the night before? Did he only get them because he knew I was mad that he didn’t do anything for me? I’m rambling. Sorry. Maybe I already do hate Vday??

  10. Jen Hanson

    1) This made me LOL at the end (the part about you never getting him something and him always getting you something and you never remembering that he did).

    2) Glad I have another V-day shrugger-offer (so not a word) in the family! 😉 I saw way too much pink/red/hearts/mushy/ick on my fb newsfeed yesterday.

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