who doesn't love a happy ending?

I promised you a blog post about unmentionables, and by golly, you’re going to get one. Guys, you can skedaddle now. Make last-minute changes to your bracket, read a manly blog, go tweet something… See ya tomorrow!

Okay, girls. It’s just us, right? (Hold on just a minute. I see you, Guy. So, I can’t guilt you into leaving, huh? Fine. Don’t blame me if your face turns red.)

So, I’d been putting off this inevitable VS trip for days now. Gabe was giving me grief. My mood was on the sour side. I was ruing the day I mentioned my undergarment situation to the world. I finally promised him I’d go Monday afternoon during Nina’s nap.

I know some of you have been wondering what the big beef is about Victoria’s Secret. What’s my deal? What am I so afraid of? Some of you feel my pain–and have pain of your own. Let me put this delicately (since you guys refuse to leave). Making me walk into VS is akin to making me sing on American Idol. Or entering me in a stick-shift driving competition. Or plopping me down in the middle of downtown and asking me to find my way out. Or putting me in a room full of slinky lingerie and bigger-than-life posters of voluptuous beauties and expecting me to feel good about myself.

I try to avoid places with such glaring reminders of what I lack. Oh, things like… money, sexiness, and enough something-something to fill out even the smallest bra. But I sucked it up, and in I went. Wowzers. That place is huge (Easton, if you’re local). I tried to act like a regular. I tried not to gawk. I tried to pretend I was just fingering the silky material and not worrying about the price tag. Why does everything cost $58?! Or $78?! Or hundreds of dollars??!

Do you know how stinking tempting it was to buy $21.58 worth of CANDY?! They had a NICE, unintimidating selection of candy. Or JEANS! Someone please help me understand why a lovely pair of jeans cost just $29.50 while a tiny piece of see-through fabric costs $87. Someone, anyone.

I approached the counter nonchalantly and asked where I might find a panty that would qualify as free (with my card from Jamie). She pointed off in the distance and said those would be the cotton panties at the panty bar (‘scuse me, what?) on the other side of the earth store. These panties were on sale–7 for $25. A no-brainer, you might say. EXCEPT that I sort of told Gabe I’d aim for something more than a cotton panty or 7. I casually surveyed the entire store, turned over price tags, tried not to gasp with horror.

Called Gabe. Uh, honey. There’s nothing here under $58. I can get lots of panties. They have a few, um, impractical ones at the cheap panty bar. Maybe I could get a few of each? He was most gracious. I painstakingly made my selections. I assured no less than 6 saleswomen that I was fine and that no, I didn’t need to be measured for a new bra. (I can think of NOTHING worse.) Made my purchase–8 pairs, grand total–$5.10. Not bad. Nearly as good as my thrift store deals.

And feeling inspired that I was still alive after my experience, I headed to Target where I perused the intimates clearance rack and bought 3 tops and a bottom for $17. Practice what you preach, Marla. No cringing. DO NOT think about how many gallons of milk you could buy with $17.

Sadly, it became apparent when I arrived home that I don’t really know what size panties I wear–at least not in certain styles. Three of them were keepers. Five of them would’ve fit Nina snugly. Sigh. I WENT BACK THE NEXT DAY. Yes, I did. And it was actually easier. And get this–when she rang me up, she was all confused. She blamed it on the computer, but how can I say this nicely? They didn’t hire her for her GPA.

The best part of all? Somehow, some way, I got $3.20 back on a gift card. Ha! Plus a gift card worth at least $10 and up to $500. I seriously thought about sharing the love and giving them both away on my blog, but then I thought, “What if it’s worth $500? Do you know how many la-la-la things I could buy there with $500?!” Yeah, at least four.

Here’s the plan, Stan. Come April 7, I’m swaggering into Victoria’s Secret, sauntering up to the candy bar and picking out $13.20 worth of pure sugar. And if my gift card should happen to be worth more than $10? Well, happy early birthday to my honey!

Gabe was speaking at a conference via Skype today at noon (and needed complete quiet), so Nina accompanied me to VS. She loved the panty bar. I promised her a trip to somewhere special when we were done. We walked out the door into the sunshine, me swinging my pink bag, and she said, “Now can we go to the FRIFF store?”

And go to the friff store we did. And I’m not telling you what I bought.

69 thoughts on “who doesn't love a happy ending?

  1. Rebecca

    To Marla and all those posting comments:

    Lysa TerKeurst posted about something the other day that really hit home for me. And when I read these comments, it struck home again. Often times as women, we can judge and criticize others (intentionally or not). That judgment or criticism can really do a number on the person to whom it’s directed.

    I say all this to say–let’s all of us think through our comments before we say them. In addition, when our comments are in written form, sometimes the intent doesn’t come across. I’ve been criticized a time or two for the “tone” of my emails when in all honesty, they had no hate or malice in them. Same goes for posts and comments I would think.

    Marla, I love your blog. You are fun and quirky and you have a view of life I’ve never before seen. And I like it.

    For all the commentors, Marla and Gabe: Don’t let a few comments upset your day. The one who angers you has control of you so to speak. I believe anger led to much of the nasty tones and name calling that was evident on both sides. And that led to hurt feelings. May we all watch our tongue–the Bible speaks clearly that it is a powerful thing that can either edify or tear down. The power of our words is something that I’ve been studying an awful lot here lately.

  2. Amber

    Ok, I have a couple things to say… 🙂

    1) I hate VS too. I go in and I try to like it. I love their body sprays and lotions. But I find their bras to be incredibly uncomfortable and overpriced (I’d rather just go to Target)… and I’m not much bigger than you; I’m a B…. barely. SOME of their panties work, but…. you know how that goes.

    2) I will never understand how women can be so cruel to each other! Sorry you have to put up with all of the hurtful comments.

    3) Related to #2, I love your husband’s comments and his defense of you. That is SO sweet and so manly!! I want a husband like that one day! (Any single, younger brothers?) 🙂

  3. Colleen

    Marla…I’m not sure how you handle all of this…You don’t give a personal invitation to each person that reads this blog, and yet you graciously allow them to read what you feel or believe or are doing…that is being completely vulnerable…everyone has a different style of humor…my dad is sarcastic, my friend is silly, another friend has that slapstick/physical type humor…I adjust when I’m around them because they are all funny to me, but in different ways. I laughed like crazy at this post, because i know you and understand where you are coming from.

    The fact that people feel so blatantly “righteous” in their “calling” to just blast you on your words, is disturbing. I have seen many others disagree and tell you in gracious, humbling and loving ways…you’ve always been accepting of criticism that came from right hearts…

    These 2 that felt it their “duty” to call you out..well, I admire you Marla for taking that sort of heat…it makes me sad…I appreciate you even more…I’m don’t know how you deal with people who just use your words against you and want to criticize you and think it’s their “right” because you have a public blog, or think they are being the “righteous” ones because they can point out your faults in a mean-spirited way…does it make them feel better about themselves? I’m not sure…we live in a mean world with mean people sometimes and I admire your heart that is able to withstand some of it!
    Your friend!!

  4. Julie

    Hi Marla,

    You don’t know me, but I do read your blog when I get a chance. After seeing this post and these comments, I thought you could use a little encouragement. I don’t know you in person, but when reading your blog, I see you as a humble person. Your blogs are real, and I appreciate that. I find encouragement in my own walk with the Lord when I read your blogs. I enjoy your sense of humor and certainly don’t see you as self-righteous or self-promoting. A blog is intended to be written about ourselves, so in a sense, then we could say that everyone’s blog is self promoting. Anyway, all that to say that I appreciate your blog and your perspective. Thanks for keeping it real. Praying for you!

  5. Erin

    Oh Marla, I’m praying for you! 🙂 I love reading your blog. You put things in perspective and make me smile. I guess if I didn’t like your blog or your opinions I probably wouldn’t read it. I hope you continue to write your thoughts. We love reading them.

  6. Holly V.

    I’m grateful to have a friend who is willing to be honest about things! I don’t know that I’ve ever discussed my underwear….let alone the information regarding where I purchased it!

    Thanks for continuing to write and encourage, and share your quirks and laughs. Love you, friend.

  7. beyond1732

    i might be going out on a limb here, but i don’t think “me” and “liz” were intending to be hateful. they merely expressed an opposing idea, and honestly, that’s not a bad thing. it’s not sinful, as many of you have alluded to.

    it’s marla’s blog, and she is free to post about anything she wants — underwear, zoos, thrift stores, whatever. and likewise, any of you readers are free to praise her as you see fit. but let’s be fair to people who are brave enough to post other opinions too. i didn’t find “me” and “liz” to be hostile at all — no more hostile than those of you who lashed out at them in response.

  8. Tara

    Hey Marla! I agree with Beth at sportsmama! I love your blog and I think you are an amazing goldy woman, wife and mother. Some people I guess have nothing better to do with their time than sit on the computer and find people to write negative things about. That’s their loss. I think your blogs are hilarious, REAL, fun and challenging. Way to go to you and your hubs!
    Have a BLESSED day 🙂

  9. HappyCamper

    To all you Marla-Blog-Followers….let’s flood Marla with what we REALLY think of her blog and where her heart is. I think these nasty comments, intending to be hurtful will be turned into something good when she sees what we all truly think about her and her character!

    (And btw, to me, its pretty obvious that ME and LIZ are the same person…)

  10. Jamie Nygaard

    Obviously “me” and “Liz” have never met you.

    And I’ll keep sending you FREE cards or whatever and will not be offended on how you use them!

    Love you bunches my friend!

  11. idolfan4

    I thank Gabe for the apology. Many bloggers/readers would prefer to argue and defend a statement than apologize for it. I think I knew the intent of the comment, but chose to mention it in my post just in case it warranted reconsideration. For the record my original post was prompted by reader comments rather than the blog entry itself, which I found to be harmless, funny, and a situation that I can relate to in several aspects and sympathize with.
    Looking forward to future entries.

  12. Gabe Taviano

    Apologies for the “slut” comment. That was wrong of me to use the word. I have no clue what their sex lives are like. My intent was just to make it clear that the women on the posters or ads from that store are soft porn in the eyes of men. It’s my guess that most of it is for men anyways?

  13. McNugget

    OK…This is the third blog I have visited today where I am disgusted by mean-spirited that commenters spew out uncalled-for personal attacks. Marla, I have been reading your blog for some time now (friend of Holly B.) and feel sorry that it has taken the tone of this post for me to finally comment. I just CANNOT stand back and let “me” and “Liz” spew out untrue persoanal charaterizations. You want nothing more than to glorfy God in all you do…AND IT SHOWS. Please do not let a few angry people (yes, I said angry…anyone who tells someone “not to bother praying for them” has heart issues) ruin your sweet, authentic spirit and minsitry God has led you to have to the rest of us. You are a blessings to so many of us. A true blessing.

    Frankly, I found your post absolutely hilarious! And, trust me, the majority of us readers get that this post was written with a thing called, sense of humor…something I wish some of these VS shoppers could go buy. Personally, my own convictions would never allow me to spend that much money on undergarments. But the soft-porn advertising (and annual TV show) is what just pushes me over the top to never step a foot in their stores. Somehow, I started receiving their magazine, and thought it was so completely inappropriate (for both my husband’s and children’s eyes), I tried to unsubscribe. It took FIVE phone calls and one letter to quit receiving the thing.

    Marla, keep doing what you are doing! I truly believe comments like this are just proof that you are doing something right! (“If you don’t meet satan on the path continually, you’re probably going in the same direction!”

    Know that you are loved!!!!!

  14. idolfan4

    i think i should say “shame on you, marla”; for ever feeling like you “lack” something because you differ from anyone else in any way, in the physical sense – especially if its not of your own doing. Beauty IS in the eyes of the beholder, and the primary beholder you need be concerned with is God, and then your husband perhaps:). and im pretty sure the beauty he[God] sees in you has nothing to do with what kind of panties/undergarments you wear. so the next time you are in a particular store, and you see a poster of a complete stranger, only think to yourself, “i hope they are not lacking what i have In Christ” – and have a smile and a happy heart because you are heaven-bound.
    and i think a “shame on you, Gabe” may be in order for the “slut” label applied to [probably] a complete stranger. depends on the definition of slut you may be referring to as well; but i doubt that the dress/posture of the subjects in the posters is evidence enough of their sexual behavior or lifestyle to classify them in that way. if you do happen do know them well enough to be sure its accurate, then i dont have a problem with the categorization – if the shoe fits, right?
    keep blogging…

  15. Carrie-clearance sticker issues

    Liz please don’t come back to the blog if it offends you. We love Marla and we love her enteries. We love her books and it is with a GENUINE, BEAUTIFUL AND CHRIST CENTERED heart that she writes about real life! There has never been an air of self promotion or self righteousness. Check yourself sister – this is where we come to be encouraged, laugh, cry and share real life!

  16. Liz

    Speaking for myself, it isn’t this post alone that made me finally comment. It is the general tone of the posts being somewhat self-promoting and self-righteous.

    If it takes Gabe calling girls sluts to defend Marla’s honor, then I am at the wrong blog.

  17. LeeAnn

    Got a chuckle out of today’s blog – mostly because I identified with it. You’re so charmingly honest. (Another reason I am not crazy about VS is because I think their advertising methods border soft-porn).

    It’s almost humorous that anyone could take offense to an underwear blog. But, I’ve heard, it takes all kinds to make the world go around.

    Keep up your blog – blogs are designed to share your experiences (in other words to be all about you).

    You bring happiness to your blog readers (well most of us).

    And way to go Gabe!! I would hope that my husband would stick his neck out for me to protect my honor in the same way you do.

  18. Marla Taviano

    Dear Ms. Gift Card Giver,

    I heart you with everything in me. Praying a gazillion blessings on your sweet little sunshiny soul today.

    You complete me. 🙂


  19. Anonymous Gift Card giver :)

    Without identifying myself (I’m not “Me” or “Liz” – or both – they could be the same person……), I’m the one who sent he VS gift card. I gave it to Marla because I think she’s awesome and deserved something special – not that the “friff” store lacks in special things, I just thought she could use a few nice things. At any rate, I was not offended by her last few entries about VS. I’ve had crazy experiences there myself. Of course, my intent wasn’t to put Marla in a weird situation at VS but merely give her a few spiffy new pairs of undies! Anyway, I’m glad to hear that in the end the experience turned out ok and there could be more VS shopping in her future since she got another gift card – woo hoo – come on $500!!!!! Marla, I love your writing and I always enjoy checking your blog. You are honest and transparent and have a sweet heart for the Lord. I won’t hesitate to send you something else if I feel the urge 🙂
    PS – I may know something about your Pei Wei Lettuce Wrap fund………just wanted to clear the air…..anonymously 🙂

  20. Morgan Nameth

    Here’s my take on VS…for being a store that focuses on undergarments, they don’t have undergarments for all sizes. Being a large chested women (36DD), I can never find anything that fits. Yes, they have that size (in some styles, not most), but it always fits smaller than 36DD elsewhere. I always would leave there filling way to large for the rest of society….The women attack you once you enter the store and ask you all sorts of questions about getting fitted and what not, you politely say no, but once you reach another part of the store, another sales person asking again. I just don’t like it….

  21. Emily

    Hey Marla, just wanted to say that I personally love your blog. It is YOUR blog so say what you wanna say!! You have made me laugh, and encouraged me. I hope you don’t change a thing. I also appreciated the comments from Gabe. I hope you can feel the love, sistah!! 🙂

  22. Ali

    WOW! Go, Marla! You are stirring the pot (and I’m afraid I stirred it as well).
    Not sure what to think of it, other than this is the blogosphere at it’s finest. Healthy debate – right?
    And if the worst done is expressing some frustration with a brand or a company or bra-shopping in general, then ain’t that life?
    And just so our facts are straight, I just went to Limited Brands site, and they still own VS – all under Mr. Wexner’s umbrella.
    I stand by my decision not to shop there.
    And Marla, my love, you are way braver than I’ll ever be. Blogging about your undergarment trials and tribulations – you rock!

  23. Shawn

    First of all. Marla was obviously having a tongue in cheek attitued about shopping for undergarments which can be understandably uncomfortable for most women due to the larger than life size posters of the models in the store.

    That being said, I don’t think she has a problem with differing opinions but there is a difference between disagreeing and publically criticizing her for effect.

    In my own humble opinion, “Me” you were criticizing her her opinions taking everything she said at face value rather than with the satirical tone that it intended. Most readers seem to have caught on to that, no matter what their stance on VS seems to be. I for one, love the store and do find amazing deals, but that is beside the point.

    What is not beside the point is that Marla puts her self and her feelings and her flaws out there everyday for us to relate to and find comfort in. You’ve misconstrued her humor to criticize her in front of her readers, and you’ve done so anonymously.

    I haven’t been a reader for very long but I find it remarkable how much Marla is willing to be vulnerable with her readers and how much her words can help people who don’t even know her.

    The least we can do is treat her and her blog with respect and make ourselves as transparent as she has if we are going to disagree.

  24. Beth@sportsmomma

    Marla- thank you for using YOUR blog to post about YOUR opinions and feelings! It’s YOUR avenue for releasing YOUR thoughts and I appreciate them-even if I don’t always agree with them (which by the way on this post I do agree with you)

  25. Gabe Taviano

    It’s good for Marla to be confronted with other opinions. Sometimes people don’t like to be labeled for what they are, but the truth can only be changed by them. Comments that are made to disagree with a post can only expect to be responded to (in whatever way people want to respond). If people prefer to be admired like a princess or not mocked, commenting probably isn’t the ideal thing to do.

    Marla could moderate comments if she really couldn’t take the heat. She also could blog about things that make everyone happy like some surface level bloggers do. Sometimes God requires discussions to get intense. Sin is sin, and we’re all not spotless.

  26. sarahjean

    i know how you feel about bra-shopping, etc. we’re probably the same size. even 9 months pregnant and b’feeding i can still wear the same old A cup! it makes bra and bathing suit shopping something i dread, and now that i have extra baby weight, basically all shopping is something i dread, especially in a society that values perfect-looking women. it’s just something i’ve learned to try to ignore or get over, even though it’s hard. i just have to work with what i have!!

    i do have to say, though, that i’m really surprised to see the word “sluts” on your blog, even though i know you didn’t write it

  27. Me

    wow. i honestly can’t believe the name calling going on. when did that become okay?

    why does someone have to be “hurt” or “mean-spirited” to disagree? i’m truly not. nor am i “offended” if someone doesn’t love VS. if anything, i’m offended by the harsh tone of this post.

  28. Liz

    Wow, I’m the one being harsh? Obviously no one is allowed to disagree with Marla. And if I do, I have to email her privately about it because only happy, positive, “go marla!” posts are allowed?

    I dont think the comments that are disagreeing with you are mean-spirited. I think some readers may just be getting tired of all of the self-promotion/validation that happens.

    Perhaps a sign to stop reading.

  29. Gabe Taviano

    As for ME and her house, I pray they will serve the Lord. I’m just glad my wife can come home knowing she doesn’t have to look like most of the sluts on the VS walls. It’s my prayer that more women in this world don’t even try to measure up.

    God’s crafted each one in a unique way, for one unique man. The facts are, some VS airheads don’t get that. The problem is, some people that follow Christ don’t either. You shouldn’t have to be a certain size or spend a certain amount of money to be all that. If you do, check your soul before pulling out your checkbook. The only “all that” that matters is how much of your heart and soul the Lord has.

  30. Deena @ My Bookshelf

    Liz–you didn’t have to be so publically harsh.

    Me–not identifying yourself invalidates your right to rebuke a sister (assuming you are one–don’t know)

    Marla–I’ve learned a lot from your responses to your critics and am going to apply them to my life

    But public rebukes are more meant to shame than to correct. Valid points aired in a public forum become invalid…

  31. Jennifer

    If the friff store works for you, you go on ahead and buy your underwear at the friff store. 🙂 I love VS, but it’s not for everyone. You enjoy what YOU enjoy and don’t worry about what everyone else thinks, says, etc.

    (Oh, and I got one of those $10-$500 cards a few months ago. And I ended up with $10. Which was great, because that was still $10 more than I had when I walked into the store, but I just KNEW I had one of the $500 cards! Ha!)

  32. krisco

    keep your chin up, Marla! I think to know the personality behind the blog is to understand it’s intentions. 🙂

  33. Sandi

    Oh, goodness! Marla, don’t get down – I certainly got the humor of your post! I already mentioned that I had a very very similar experience in a Texas VS last weekend. I love VS, in spite of the way I feel like I’m being spotlighted in the store: “and HERE SHE IS! A too-short, squatty little grandmother too busty to be able to buy a bra here, and too old to belong here!”. Once, I ran into my family practice doctor, who was in line and holding a sexy-little-something for his wife – that was comfortable. I started into full-blown hot flash as soon as I was approached by a helpful sales associate, who asked me a little too loudly what size panty I was looking for. I found the free pair I wanted, and five additional pair of panties, and headed to the line (feeling a lot like I do when I walk into Journeys shoes or Fast Forward – I actually find things in there from time to time, but think that someone, somewhere blows a whistle for everyone to clear the store because an old old person has come in, making the cool store completely uncool), only to find just two registers open and 10-12 folks waiting in each line. By this time I was COVERED in nervous hot flash sweat – and my hubby will confirm (I’d left him in another part of the mall because he refuses to deal with the naked lady billboards), and just left the panties back in the bottom (HA!) drawer and fled. I feel your pain – I love the place, thought I’d buy some things in the store so I didn’t have to pay shipping, but wow, it “costs” me something every time I try to go.

    LOVE Nina’s friff store plea! LOVE you!

  34. Marla Taviano

    Thanks, Liz and Me. I do need to be held accountable for my words and attitudes. I admit, I don’t always think through the implications of what I’m writing. I like to make people laugh, and I fail to take certain things into consideration sometimes–like people’s feelings. And how I might reflect on Christ.

    I’m sorry.

    And I will be praying for you both. Not for your sake but for mine. When someone hurts or offends or bothers (or whatevers) me, praying for them keeps my heart from getting messed up.

    And I’d love to know who sent me the gift card so I can reassure her of my love and appreciation. I have an idea who it is…

  35. Me

    Why would it put a damper on your day? Someone has to agree with your thoughts?

    And honestly, I don’t feel the need to identify myself…just like you didn’t. Are you going to “identify” yourself to VS as having an issue with their store, or are you just going to write about it on the internet?

    I feel I used as much tact as you did in your post. I just happened to have a different opinion.

  36. Liz

    I feel that I must interject here.

    Marla, this post was “fun and games” until someone disagreed with you, pointing out very valid facts.

    Something that stood out to me that I have been learning to digest lately is that it’s not all about ME. I am going to tell you that. It’s not all about YOU. If you don’t like VS, don’t shop there. But don’t insult the people who do, the people who work there, or the owners. I dont think that shows Christ’s love at all.

    I feel sorry for the person who gave you the gift card. She was trying to do something nice and in turn received rants about how horrible your experience using their gift card was. That doesn’t bode well for people wanting to give you “gifts” in the future.

    And, may I ask, since you hated your experience so much, why on earth would you plan to go back? Because you could possibly win $500 from a store you hate? I guess it’s easy to give away things you don’t want on your blog, but harder to give away something that could be have a high monetary value.

    Just some thoughts. I don’t need you to pray for me, so please don’t say you are.

  37. krisco

    I’m going to agree with “Me” on 1 fact. Not everything in the PINK section has PINK written across the butt. I own at least 20 pieces and don’t have a single one with writing across the butt. This is getting interesting….

  38. Laurie

    VS is pricey, but they can have some real deals online at times. I save all my $10 off cards I get in the mail and use them to buy for my teenagers – 5- 7 pairs for $15 sounds much better!

  39. Charity

    It’s okay that you don’t like VS. Everyone has different experiences. I can’t stand a certain car dealership in my town, but some family members will go no other place to service their cars. I personally like VS for my unmentionables, but I have had good experiences at mine. When I weaned my 4th child, I marched in there and told them: Look, I’ve spent a grand total of 56 months nursing, I need some new bras. They measured me, brought me numerous ones to try on, and it worked for me. You keep doing what works for you. The sun’s still shinin’ 🙂

  40. Marla Taviano

    Well. ^That just put a damper on my sunny day.

    Me, you have some good points. Not a lot of tact, but I can’t argue with anything you said.

    If you’re feeling extra brave, you could identify yourself. Anyone can throw verbal (typed) darts anonymously.

    Praying for you right now.

  41. Stephanie

    In high school I bought their pear scented lotions and body sprays. And I think once, maybe in college, I bought some panties that were $1.50 apiece. And after that, which was 5ish years ago, I haven’t stepped foot into a VS. The few things I got for my honeymoon from there I ordered online to avoid the actual store. In honesty, I avoid the entire mall. I hate the mall. It makes me want to throw up. It’s like the hot spot for materialistic, superficial America. And don’t even get me started on the VS store front posters. I’m not even going to go there.

    I’ve actually never had anyone ask me if they could measure me in the times I used to go to VS back in the day. Maybe it was because I was a teenager. Or maybe it was because they don’t teach you things like that when you work at the Springfield mall. 🙂

  42. Me

    I guess I’m slow because I just don’t understand all the drama…You knew going in that prices would be more than a thrift store, and they were. But they’re not used. And there are still plenty of things to buy that would be more than covered by your gift card.

    And so the girl at the counter wasn’t fast or smart enough for you? I’m not sure that publicly mocking her is all that great of a thing either.

    I don’t know. I shop at VS and VSonline all the time. I never pay full price for anything…it’s possible to spend a reasonable amount.

    Also, VS/BBW are no longer owned by Limited Brands, so I don’t get all the hostility in these comments. Nor does everything in the PINK store have writing on the butt.

  43. deedee

    if you want a real experience, you should take your mom! i will have to say that VS was a lot more professional at fitting a bra, than JCPenneys….AND they respected my mom’s privacy.

    poor mom has a chest down to her waist. she was told to “scoop your balls in to the basket” first, if she wanted the bra to fit right!

  44. Conny

    Like so many, I can SOOOOOOOO relate to the whole VS drama. I have gone in there thinking I might find something “pretty” but all hopes are quickly dashe by the prices & the unattainable expectations their merchandise puts on one! I do admit I LOVE one thing from there – a Body by Victoria bra (lightly padded, available in my size) – but ONLY if I have a coupon or gift card! Otherwise, I buy all my “pretties” at JC Penney 🙂 or Target. 🙂

  45. Marla Taviano

    I’m so bad about replying to your comments. Giving it a shot.

    gitz–oh, I would have crumpled in a heap.

    Val–it’s a date!

    Cuz Kelly–oh, darling. i’m so, so sorry.

    Krisco–you are so weird. i love you.

    Ali–thanks for the rant–seriously. i’m so ignorant about this stuff. no idea who wexner is or who owns what stores.

    Jess K–nice-smelling naked wife! LOVE it!

    Sarah–cheapest clearance item was $29.99. yeah.

    Thanks for all your encouragement, gals! Hugs and smooches!

  46. deanna

    This made me laugh out loud….AT WORK! I had to explain to a fellow co-worker why I was so tickled!
    I’m glad you got to use your gift card though…and still managed to have a few dollars left on it!

  47. Sarah (der_lila_Stern)

    That is fantastic! I must say that you are much braver than I. I avoid VS like the plague! I own 1 item of clothing from there. A pair of goucho pants I wear around the house. A friend drug me in there one time – the pants were on clearance and are super comfy!

    I hope you at least get to enjoy your purchases!

  48. Betsy

    My only experience with buy anything from VS was cotton panties for my daughters BEFORE either of them were married, while they were still in HS, and college, and for myself, just the smelly stuff —lotions, etc. Real women need real underwear! Mine come from Wal*Mart! BTW—I’m over fifty, and still have to have a padded bra!

  49. Sarah

    did they have a clearance rack?? That’s the only way I’ll buy anything there – if it’s under $15. And believe it or now they occasionally have things that meet that criteria. Glad you were able to use your gift card!!

  50. Jess K from PA

    I totally hear you on this!! My hubby got me a $25 gift card to VS one year for Christmas, hoping I’d buy myself something pretty to wear for him. Well… I decided to buy body wash after realizing that $25 won’t buy anything at VS *and* there was nothing there that would fit me anyways! So I told my dear husband that his gift card got him a nice-smelling naked wife, and he was okay with that!

  51. Mary

    Yay! Victory for you and all of us who refuse to spend full price or anywhere near it at VS. I browse the clearance rack from time to time but rarely find anything under $20…but I usually do make the coupon run when my mom gives me hers from the mail 🙂 I always just buy the boring cotton panties in much bigger sizes than normal…have found that’s what I wear after I have a baby 🙂

  52. Emily

    I love it!!I am laughing out loud reading your blog this morning. I can certainly sympathize with you about the trip to VS. A decade or so ago I use to buy their stuff but now that I’m mid-thirties..okay..late-thirties, I go for comfort and I hate to spend that much money on underwear!! I found some really comfy, pretty ones at Old Navy (of all places!!) so, if you are ever in Old Navy check out their all lace panties…they are sooo comfy and look pretty too! 🙂

  53. Ali

    Where do I even begin?
    Well, let’s see, first of all, you are a better woman than I am.
    I despise VS. Despise!
    And because I’m feisty this morning, I’ll tell you why:
    1) I’m convinced that Wexner is Satan’s left-hand man. I can’t stand Leslie – can’t stand him!
    2) The Wexner mogul is saturated with porn and other equally disgusting images that feed into everything that is wrong with this society.
    3) VS doesn’t make bras big enough for me, and I haven’t been there in ages, but I’m guessing they don’t make ‘panties’ big enough either.
    4) During the short time that I received their catalogue, I am pretty sure they sent me hundreds of acres of trees in one week’s time.
    5) I think they sell mild s*x toys – last time I was there, they sold paddles and whips and other absolutely inappropriate merchandise for a store in the middle of a family-friendly mall.
    6) VS has an entire line of clothing geared toward tweens, and every single bottom piece has the word PINK pasted across the butt. I don’t get it, and I find it obnoxious.

    And this also explains why I’ve had a Bath & Body Works gift card in my wallet for at least a year. I just can’t bring myself to step foot into any of the Limited Brand stores.

    I’ve got issues.

  54. krisco

    I love it. I really, really love it and I would say we share the same up top! 😉 I will admit I stay away from the satiny stuff and shop the “PINK” (read: tween) section. Cause, you know the tween stuff is the stuff that fits me, not the stuff for grown ups. I do hate their store windows and how I’m pretty sure Victoria no longer has any secrets. I have boys and even at their young ages, they just stare into the store windows. Blech…

  55. Kelly Your Cousin

    How about getting measured right in the middle of the store as 5 handsome men and dozens of women walk by? How about sales girl hollering my size (she got it way wrong too) in front of all those people while I stand there holding up my arms with a measuring tape around my chest? Yeah, that was my last trip to VS. I’m not excited to go back either.

  56. Valerie

    I’ve had some experiences there too; and I thought I was the only person who really felt bad about themselves compared to the massive posters…….

    I still have a gift card to use that I got for my birthday last November!! If you wanna wait until April 8th we could brave it together. Or like I said the one by me is smaller and much less intimidating than the Easton stores. 🙂

  57. gitz

    I walked into VS once and couldn’t find a bra in my size that wasn’t padded (I usually take all the padding I can get, but I wanted just one that was comfortable). Anyway, I asked the saleslady and she LITERALLY laughed and said they don’t make unpadded bras in my size because they assume anyone my size would want it.

    I might have called her a name under my breath as I walked out of the store. You can use your imagination. 🙂

  58. Erin

    I love your posts! 🙂 This made me smile. I hate going to VS and I too do the same thing…pretend that I know what I’m doing 😉 I will say that when they have their big clearance blowout, I will attempt to go in. BUT usually I get really intimidated by all the other ladies that know exactly what they’re looking for and I walk out the front door 🙂

    Easton is VERY big…don’t they have two VS’s there? Tuttle is way more up my aisle.

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