whirly twirly swirly

I try not to give y’all a headache when you read my blog. If I just took everything that’s in my brain and heart right now and splattered it on this page, your poor little head would start to pound with the madness of it all.

So I just stay quiet.

But 2012 is quickly coming to an end, and I feel the need to say something.

I just don’t know what.

Do I talk about how hard this year was and how faithful God was (is)? Do I share my big hopes and dreams for 2013? Do I break out the big honesty-guns and share what I’m really really struggling with rightthisminute?

Raw. I feel raw.

I’ve been reading a lot, soaking up a lot of good good truth. We’ve been visiting new homeless friends. We’ve been spending more time surviving than home-schooling. We’ve been figuring out how to parent a 17-year-old from another culture. We’ve been clawing our way out of debt, and I’ve been trying to trust God with hospital bills that seem so big (and so pointless and unfair).

We’ve been watching lots of movies and playing Ticket to Ride Europe. We spent lots of sweet time with extended family. Did lots of driving. There is much, much snow outside my door, and my husband talked me into taking a “romantic walk” in it with him today after lunch.

The girls and I just finished writing 120+ notes to some of our favorite Cambodians, and a special messenger is going to deliver them in January.

I miss Cambodia something fierce.

This year wore me out. And gave me new empathy for those who struggle to survive one day at a time.

I want to be more like Jesus.

That’s all for now.

6 thoughts on “whirly twirly swirly

  1. Rachelle

    I’ve appreciated every word from you this year. In a way your words, or lack thereof, reflected what has gone on in my life this year. While our experiences have been far different, loss has many messy similarities. don’t know what God has planned for tommorow, I have absolutlely had to learn that knowing is none of my buisness, but I know that it’s something greater than we can imagine on this side of heaven. My love and prayers all the way from the Southwest. <3

  2. Danielle

    Was reminded this morning at church of the greeting used often in the early church – maranatha. For your heart stuff, and mine, I say “Come quickly Lord Jesus!” Love to you guys!

    Oh, and Ticket to Ride (any version) is huge in our house!

  3. Krysten

    I love you and your messy slew of thoughts, my friend. It stinks when your heart is in 100 different places (or two!) and you just don’t know what to do with all of it.

    To that I say: Jesus. Just Jesus. But you know that already.

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