Last night, I had the awesome privilege of talking to a wonderful group of guys and girls about the wonderful world of guys and girls. We didn’t quite solve the whole mystery of male/female relationships but we made a little progress–and we had fun. I told my new friends that I’d write up some highlights of my talk in case they wanted a little Morning After Review.
If we met last night and you’re here at the Blue Blog for the first time, welcome! (I know you’re really here to see if you won the iTunes gift card. Hold on just a minute, would ya?)
I didn’t know going in what the demographics of the audience would be. Mostly high-schoolers? Lots of married couples? Singles out of college? So, I spent a lot of time praying that God would reveal some important truths that would bless the exact folks He handpicked to come. Because God? He doesn’t do assembly line. He handpicks, handcrafts, handeverythings. He’s a hands-on, all-knowing, I-love-and-care-about-you God.
Turns out the group was maybe 75% high-schoolers (who were awesome and mature beyond their years) and 25% cool married couples ranging in age from 22-82. Pretty diverse.
Some of the things I told them we’d cover: 1.) differences between guys and girls 2.) how you should act as a guy (if you’re a guy) or a girl (if you’re a girl) 3.) how to treat the opposite sex 4.) what to look for in a mate 5.) lies you shouldn’t fall for 6.) what guys really want and what girls really want 7.) how to prepare for an awesome marriage and 8.) what you can do if you’ve already screwed up pretty badly.
We talked about the fact that God created men and women different. On purpose. Different doesn’t = bad.
God has a plan for marriage. A really good one. He created you. He loves you. He knows what’s best for you and outlines it in His Word.
Our culture teaches us to focus our brains on 2 things: 1.) me. and 2.) now. I only care about what makes me happy. And what makes me happy now.
God tells us to put others before ourselves. And to look ahead to the future.
Biggest difference between girls’ needs and guys’ needs? You’ve heard it a million times.
Women want love. Men want respect.
God knows this. He wrote about in the Bible before we wrote any of our brilliant marriage books.
In a fight, girls cry. They don’t feel loved. Guys get angry. They don’t feel respected.
I had a little chat with the guys first. Shared some stats I got from a Mark Driscoll podcast a year or so ago. 60% of Christians are women (bummer for the girls). The 18-34 male demographic = least likely to go to church. Guys today are extending their adolescence–they want freedom and income of men but have the mindset of boys.
Guys–here are those questions I had you ask yourself: Is your girl modest? Is there more to her than her looks? What kind of character does she have? Are you overlooking some godly women? Are you rewarding immodesty by drooling over scantily-clad girls and ignoring the rest?
Trust me–if you marry a girl for her looks alone, you’re going to regret it. Over and over again. If she spends every waking moment on her appearance, she won’t have time to work on her personality and intelligence. And she certainly won’t have time for you.
(And I know there’s no way that 90% of you high-schoolers have made it this far in the blog. You know we talked about how much you looooove to read.)
And girls, ironically, you’re the ones who might still be with me, but I’m out of time and space for your turn! Come back tomorrow!
(Rumor has it Mr. Gabe video-recorded some of my talk to share with those of you who couldn’t be there.)
Everyone who came last night had the chance to enter a drawing for a $15 iTunes gift card. And the winner is… Natalie Setterberg! E-mail me with your mailing address, Natalie!
p.s. Thank you for trusting me with your prayer requests and questions. I got home at almost 2 am, so I haven’t prayed through them yet, but I will. And your questions were awesome, but some are too personal to answer on the blog, and I have no way to contact you. If you’d like, you can e-mail me (over there on the sidebar). Thanks!
And because I love all of you (and my sweet, daily blog readers too!), I’m giving away SOMETHING ELSE!
A $10 gift card of your choice–the sky’s the limit. (or a $10 bill if your tastes are obscure)
To be entered into a random drawing (U.S. addresses only please–I’ll draw the winner Monday morning), just answer this simple question:
What is one thing you just don’t get about the opposite sex?
(Up tomorrow: Part 2–Sexual Purity, Modesty and Selfishness and maybe, just maybe, a video clip)
Have a great day!





[...] to the RSS feed for updates on this topic.Powered by WP Greet BoxIf you missed part 1, check it out here. Basically, I’m summarizing what I talked to a group of guys and girls about last week. Part [...]
Why is it that my spouse of the opposite sex loves for me to listen to him very attentively and hang on to every word…but…if I have something to say his eyes start to glaze over if I say more than 2 or 3 sentences?
you know, i got on here to make a negative comment about my husband….then tried…and could not think of one negative thing to say. now normally i could give you a laundry list, but recently i have been praying to fall more and more in love with him, and as i wrote this i have had this epiphany. thank you marla!
What a great talk! I don’t understand how men can “tune out” the static in our lives. My dear one can just decide not to listen to kiddy chaos and that’s that. He’s in his peaceful place. Me? I hear all of it and the TV he’s watching and the phone call I’m on. It’s why I long for a quiet place at the end of the day.
Why don’t they get how important cute pillows are and why they leave their clothes on the floor????
My husband’s ability to watch sports for hours straight without moving! I love sports, but sitting for that long just drives me crazy!
oh i do have to agree with the dishwasher thing. we get them rinsed out in the sink but they don’t go any further. even after he sees me put his dishes in the dishwasher right after he does that! agh, drives me crazy! but to be fair, my husband is pretty good at keeping up with other things.
now if he could only read my mind…
I don’t understand how time has flown and we’ve been married 26 years. God’s grace is real!!
Where all the single ones are! LOL Really, I don’t understand why they don’t listen to me!
[...] you missed Part 1, here you go. And just so you know, there’s a $10 gift card at stake (scroll to the end of the [...]
Hmmm…sometimes I don’t get how guys can just not talk about stuff when they’re upset – I NEED to talk to EVERYONE about EVERYTHING!!!
I wish I could have been there to hear you talk! I want you to come to my church sooooo bad.
I’ve been married for a long time, but I still have so much to learn about the opposite sex! There are many things about my husband that I didn’t understand until we’d been married 5-10 years. I think I’ve learned more in the last year than ever! I think that just TRYING to understand goes a long way.
When my car is making the clunkity clunk sound and I ask my Dad to drive it and see what he thinks is wrong…what is so magical about him in the driver seat that makes the car hum along as it should?
What I don’t get about men is how they can decide to go to bed and literally lay down and go to sleep 30 seconds later. It takes me forver to do my nighttime routine before I can sleep. Mainly I’m just jealous of them. Marla, I wish I lived near you so I could hear you speak!
Okay, all of you who said something negative about your husbands better come back and say something sweet.
I don’t get why men are so competitive and why when their favorite team loses, its the end of the world. It doesn’t just make them angry for a few hours like it does me, it makes them angry for days and weeks. Like their life is over because Pryor made mistakes and the Buckeyes lost a game. Boys are silly.