my endearing ineptitude

As I inhaled my Bob Evan’s wildfire grilled chicken salad yesterday, my friend Jackie filled in some important gaps in her life story for me. I kept asking her questions so she’d keep talking and I could eat (I’m selfless like that). In all seriousness, I really was hanging on her every word. She and her husband just went to Israel! Sigh.

Anyway, at one point she totally embarrassed me because she was saying all this nice stuff about me and why she likes reading my blog. “You know what I think people find especially endearing about you?” I think I might have choked on a cherry tomato, because “endearing” is not on my list of Top 50 Words I’d Use to Describe Myself.

She went on to say something about my honesty and not painting a fake, pretty picture of my life.

Well. If that’s endearing, then this post? Is going to be downright CHARMING. Because I am not in a good space right at the moment.

I had a wonderful day at the Columbus Zoo with my friend Angie (we met as counselors at camp back in the day) and her daughter Sara. So that wasn’t the problem. But I came home exhausted (and I have plans to walk TEN MILES on Saturday) and all I wanted to do was stuff my face with junk food and go to sleep.

So I did.

But the crappy (if not tasty) food just made me mad at myself (I forgot to tell my friend Ali that she won the book Made to Crave on my blog awhile back, partly because I need to go back and read it again before I give it to her). And the nap was about 23 minutes long, and I woke up with some horrendous pain in my arm, side, and stomach.

Anyway. The girls got home from school, and I was tired and grouchy. I made hot dogs and mac-n-cheese and edamame and random leftovers for supper, and I was tired and grouchy. Gabe left to go to a meeting, and I was tired and grouchy.

The girls and I purged some more per Livi’s request (AWANA vests? No thank you. How about we only keep things that bring back good memories?) and that lifted my spirits for a bit, but then it was bedtime and the bickering started up and Daddy got home right in the middle of it and he’s tired and I’m tired and we’re all tired and the girls were being pretty much hateful to each other.

Awful.

It’s now 9:16, and I don’t hear any noise coming from their bedroom. I’m still tired and grouchy, and I want to eat. Any Shredding I’ve done has pretty much been in vain because of my total lapse in eating healthy and with at least some small measure of portion control.

So, yeah, we’re walking 10 miles Saturday for Traffick Jam 2011. I’ve done a lousy job of co-coordinating this event. Lousy. I’m disorganized, and I get in over my head, and I can’t keep up with e-mails. And now Livi and Ava have a make-up soccer game at 9:00 and Nina has make-up soccer pictures at 9:30, and I’m supposed to be there at 7:45 with painted signs that I should’ve had done ages ago. And 10 miles is really, really far.

And our pastor asked me to pray and do the announcements on Sunday before the sermon, and all I can think is, “Shoot! That means I have to get my attitude right sometime between now and 10:15 Sunday morning. Poo.”

I’m gonna stop before this gets any more endearing.

I would love your prayers that I could climb out of this pit. Because it just feels really, really yucky.

Let me know if I can pray for you today.

31 thoughts on “my endearing ineptitude

  1. Carrie Hester

    I am a bit late on reading my favorite blogs – I know you have come out of your funk but girl this has helped me. I am in one for NO WIDE REASON (other than hormones – which I hate to always blame it on) so knowing I am not alone (what a over-used phrase) is helpful!

  2. Kaye

    Praying for you that today being Mother’s Day was a well deserved ‘spark’ for you:)
    Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Blessings always,
    Kaye
    Matthew 21:22

  3. bethany

    You are just precious. Not too many women share their grumpy side. They are too busy trying to hide it. I hope that your 10k walk went well today! And by the way…I love my necklaces/bookmarks 🙂 Wrap your little Nina in a hug and tell her that I Love her creation!
    Please pray for me dear friend. She just found out that her husband of 20 yrs has cheated on her and is choosing the other woman now. She’s heartbroken.

  4. Brooke

    heading your way to visit the MIL for mother’s day. travel safety prayers would be greatly appreciated. i wish i would have known before this week and i would have joined you on the walk!

  5. Rachel

    I’ve just finished reading ‘blushing bride’ and I did find your honesty very endearing so thank you for sharing!
    I’ll be sending it to my sister-in-love who is getting married in the summer next.

  6. Chris Yoder

    I’ve told you before, but I’ll tell you again – That’s one of the many things I love about you! You’re real, you’re transparent, you’re approachable, you’re human, and willing to admit it.:) You give the rest of us permission to have a smelly day, and then start over fresh in the morning!:)

  7. Bethany

    I’m glad you told us about stuffing your face with junk. I did really good for a whole week with eating smaller portions (because I really wasn’t HUNGRY, it just tasted good) and choosing water instead of pop, fruit instead of refined sugar, etc., but then the weekend came and during Isabelle’s nap I had 4 Oreos, a chocolate chip cookie, a mini Fast break bar and a cup of coffee. It was all SOOOO good! It’s encouraging to know that we all struggle and I’m not the only one!

    I was talking to a friend of mine who said she has been taking hot baths lately and lighting candles. I was reading a book where a mom of 9 says she does it almost every night. So last night at 11:15pm I took a hot bath and I felt SOOOO relaxed afterward. I lit some votives, too and just sat in there while the steam kept rising. My back was really hurting all day and when I went to bed, the pain was gone! (it was back again this morning, but still…) I never take baths but I’m so glad I did! Just an idea. I’ll be praying for you sis! I love you!

  8. Marla

    By the end of your post, I was chuckling and thinking how grateful I am that at least my upcoming weekend sounds so calm in comparison! (Not sure that’s the reaction you were hoping for?!) The three weeks coming up for me are too busy and too full, and I hate having to juggle too many things…and for the life of me, I can’t figure out how to get “un-grumpy” when that attitude hits, other than just going to bed and starting over again the next day. And how in the world do you do THAT at 3:00 in the afternoon??? Good to know I’m not the only one!! 🙂 Hoping your “wake-up” this morning came with a calmer outlook!! Thanks for your thoughts!

  9. Claudia Porpiglia

    Ditto to Jackie’s observations! A post like today’s always makes me smile…not because you are struggling but because you are like the rest of us. Some days you are like an Olympic swimmer, speeding smoothly through the water and other days you are treading water with your mouth barely above the surface.

    All that said, I will be praying for you and trusting God to bring you through the next couple of days!

  10. sharon

    Marla, I adore you! Should I come by and get the signs tonight after work and stick em in the ground tonight so that we are ready for tomorrow morning? I will have Robbie and it would be fun… and, Jennie won’t make it there very early either. I will try to save you some pizza, haha! It’s all good! God bless your day(s) friend! You are in my prayers.
    Love you!

    1. Marla Taviano

      You have NO idea what a burden has been lifted from my shoulders not having to make those signs. Whew. Thank you, Jesus. Excited about tomorrow, friend! Love you!

  11. Elizabeth

    Jackie’s right, you know. You are totally honest about your highs and lows, day in and day out, and that’s why people feel so at home with you. That’s the definition of endearing!

    You sound overwhelmed more than anything. And when I feel that way I stuff my face too. Like tonight:) It is a yucky feeling and I don’t know why I continually bring it upon myself. I know you understand. Anyway, I will pray for you and I know you’ll pray for me. Thanks for being my friend! Love you dearly!

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