incomplete thoughts…

I thought you might like a little peek inside a head that can’t stop spinning. I probably shouldn’t make such blanketed assumptions.

Warning: Reading This May Cause Dizziness. And Also Nausea.

~~We had our 3rd Love C-bus (Columbus, OH) Event today after church. I loved every bit of it. Stood on a street corner passing out brown bags of free healthy snacks to people who walked/drove by. We were met with some smiles, some tears, some raised eyebrows, some eyes that said thank you better than lips ever could. Jesus was right there with us. I could feel him. This part of our city desperately needs him, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be his hands and feet here.

~~My friend Amanda and her husband Curtis are stepping out and planting a church in the big city of Houston, TX. I’ve been praying about this for a couple months or so, and I can’t tell you what it does to my heart just thinking about it all. I love Amanda’s latest posts where she talks about how God led them to this point and hints at what’s next.

~~We both got turned upside down and all beat up by Radical and Interrupted. Radical you know, but I don’t think I’ve blogged about Interrupted. Probably because I marked it up so much I can hardly read the words anymore, and you know how overwhelmed I get when something is just so blow-my-mind amazing. I won’t promise a post about it (I’m so weary of my empty promises), but just know it rocked my world. And might rock yours too. There are 101 parallels between Jen’s (Hatmaker) life and my own. Nuts.

~~The Art Fair was a rousing success last night. I can’t wait to tell you about it. And show you pictures of me standing behind a CRAFT TABLE. The washer necklaces were a huge hit with the teenage girls, and I’m going to be selling them here on the blog once we (the girls) get some more painted.

~~I love watching my girls play soccer. Especially the two older ones who play “real” soccer (Nina is in U5 where there are no goalies and much, much swarming around the ball). I actually teared up on Friday night at one point. The game was tied 1-1, I believe, and Livi scored a goal. Ava, who was on defense, yelled, “Thank you, Livi!” at the top of her lungs, then they ran into each other’s arms. “Oh my goodness,” I thought, my throat one big ol’ lump, “they really do love each other.” It was priceless.

~~I’m really struggling with finding time for friendships lately. I feel spread really thin, and I feel super-guilty/sad about leaving some people high and dry. I know the internet has enriched my life in a zillion ways, but it has also made it very hard to give each of my friends the love and time they deserve. I don’t know what to do about this, and it hurts.

~~On a kind of unrelated note, I got my feelings hurt last night and spent quite awhile in tears. Maybe I just needed to cry, because it really wasn’t that huge of a deal, but it hurt. And the tears just flowed. I think I’m over it now.

~~I wish I had some news for you on the book/publishing front. I don’t. I’m in a holding pattern. Trying to be faithful and patient and trusting God’s perfect plan and timing. I’ve seen enough of it to know it’s so superior to mine that it’s laughable.

~~Gabe and I have some big dreams. Some of them are the same, some different. I like seeing how God meshes them together.

~~I have the itch to travel. To Cambodia. To Texas. To all the places we met people on our Zoo Trip. To all the zoos we missed. To Africa. Hmmm…

~~Do you have an itch today? Or some hurt feelings? Or a big dream? Or something you’re waiting for? Or friendships that aren’t what they were? Or a headache from reading this post? I’d love to hear about it.

27 thoughts on “incomplete thoughts…

  1. Kara

    simple dream … for my husband to find steady work. once an easy thing. now, it’s a dream. so, i fight tears almost every day. pray without ceasing is what i do. seriously. but, wow, some days (like yesterday), i feel like this slow downward spiral has its grips on me, HARD. and, this simple dream spills into areas we take for granted, like, grocery shopping whenever we want; paying utilities on time; putting gas in the car, even if it’s $5; yada yada…..

  2. Megan Bradford

    Almost didn’t read this post because I don’t need anything else making me nauseous, but it didn’t 🙂

    I wish so much that I could make it to one love cbus…….. it will happen!

    I am very glad that we will get to spend some time together this week. We need to figure out what to do with 6 children!

    I am very intrigued about your comment about traveling to Africa………..

    Sorry you were sad yesterday 🙁

    Love you!

  3. Jen Hanson

    I’d comment on your incomplete thoughts, only I can’t gather my own enough to do so. So I’ll just say – YEP.

    (P.S. Excited see all you Ohio folks in 23-some days!!)

  4. Missy June

    I’m waiting … but I don’t even know what for!?! In the meantime I’m feeding my faith about what God want from me TODAY, trusting Him to fill in the gaps of my shortcomings, trying not to compete with those on the same team and still trying to find my place in the new season of life.

    My tears this weekend were of disappointment, grieving the loss of my life script and continuing to surrender that to God. I also grieved for my former spouse who is filled with pain and I’m not sure how well he’s coping. I still fight the desire to ‘rescue’ him, as if I could.

  5. Claudia Porpiglia

    I think the same God made my brain as made yours! 😉 There is so much I want to do and so much to do. Many of my dreams have been on hold for years because they formed years ago when I actually thought I would eventually have an “empty nest”…now I am trying to figure out which ones are a part of God’s plan.

      1. Claudia Porpiglia

        God is moving in unbelievable ways in my life…fulfilling goals and giving me an intense desire to be more involved in ministry (at least on a part time basis)… not sure how this is going to come to be but have faith in God!

  6. Erin

    Hi Marla!! This did NOT make me nauseous OR dizzy.. instead, in one page I knew exactly what’s going on with you and your family right now… great. Maybe you should do an “incomplete thoughts” post every week!!

    I’m also in a holding pattern with books… it’s so frustrating! My publisher was bought out and so all of a sudden, no contracts are going out and I don’t know whether I’ll ever get another deal. It’s hard. I’ll be praying for you.

    And, I hope you come to Texas soon! You know that if you’re in Austin, you always have a place to stay.

  7. Brooke

    you know i love a good book, so i’ll have to check out interrupted.

    i spent much of the weekend crying myself. over stupid mice. over a race lost to my husband. tears are okay as long as we refuse to wallow in them {{{marla}}} sorry your feelings were hurt but i have no doubt you’ll rise above it.

  8. Elisabeth

    Marla~ I sometimes think the holding pattern is the real ‘trying’ of our faith- remaining ‘in faith’ when it appears nothing is changing or moving. Like Abraham, who spoke he was the Father of Many Nations for years before he had a son- yet God had promised and he believed. Our pastor, Pastor Tyus Nedd, shared yesterday that patience in the waiting becomes easier when we know our call- then we can wait and believe for it because our call/purpose is worth it! So I’m praying for you today, for your calling to become more clear and focused. Then you will be able to prioritize friends, relationships, writing, etc by what will propel you toward fulfilling your purpose! I’m excited to see where you’ll be in a couple of years! Love you! By the way, have you read “Weird: Because Normal Isn’t Working” by Craig Groeschel? Highly recommend it!

    1. Marla Taviano

      I looooove Romans 4:19-22. “He did not weaken in faith…no distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised…”

      Thanks, Elisabeth!! And I’ll check out that book too!

  9. Ruth

    I can definitely relate to this post! But thank you for this reminder… “Trying to be faithful and patient and trusting God’s perfect plan and timing.” Praying for you today, Marla!

  10. ellen

    I agree with Holly, true friends understand and will wait but…. way too many women (lots of them good Christian women) don’t leave enough time for themselves. We are daughters, mothers, wifes, etc. Don’t lose yourselve in the mix – that is definately not God’s plan. Have a blessed week.

  11. Wendy

    I’m waiting but I’m trying to trick my mind into thinking I’m not. Fun games I play! 😉

    I’ve been there with the soccer, the spreading myself thin, the needing a good cry and the wait…

    You are not alone.
    ~ Wendy

  12. Holly

    Loved the post. Love you more. Incredibly proud of ALL you do for your family, church, and Jesus. Friends who truly love you are willing to wait for time with you! Continuing to be hopeful and prayerful for travel plans and book deals! Love you.

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