i can't do it

I had a blog post all laid out in my head about this afternoon’s trip to Victoria’s Secret. But I just can’t write it. Not yet. Not when the wounds are still fresh.

After my necessitated return trip there tomorrow, I won’t be visiting that store ever again. And none of you can make me. To whomever thoughtfully sent me the VS gift card, bless you. I know you thought you were doing a kind and loving thing for me. You couldn’t have known the torture I’ve endured. I’m truly not as ungrateful as it’s gonna sound.

Anyway.

Still working on our taxes. Nina keeps tripping over my piles of receipts and documents on the floor by my desk. She’s just trying to get a piece of gum out of my desk drawer, poor thing. “Are you still doing your Texas?” she asks. We’ve talked about the difference between taxes and Texas. She wants to say the word “taxes” but it keeps coming out “Texas.” Praying we survive Taxes and can still go to Texas.

Speaking of, I’ve been struggling today with a little thing I like to call “Believing God.” If you’ve been around (here, that is) for awhile, I’ve been going back through my old Bible studies, soaking up stuff I learned once upon a time, asking God how I can apply these truths anew. I just (re)finished Stepping Up, and as I thought about which one to (re)do next, Believing God just popped out at me. Popped out and said, “How ’bout you start believing God a bit more, sister? For some reason, you’ve been thinking lately that your stack of bills, your to-do list, and your blah-blah-blah are out of God’s league. How ’bout you rethink that? ‘Cause there ain’t no such thing as out of God’s league.”

Well.

I did a downright crappy job of believing God today. My word. So tonight, I begged and pleaded. “God, help my unbelief. Help my unbelief. Help my unbelief.” (and then I said it about 16 more times) I am happy to report that I’m choosing to believe Him right now. My circumstances haven’t changed, but that’s beside the point.

God, I believe You.

And before I forget, the b-r-a in Sunday’s post was 90 cents at the thrift store. Thank you.

Saturday was good. Thanks for praying! I met some sweet people, and my talks went well. Several gals came up and told me that what I said really resonated with something going on in their lives at the moment. That’s when I know God gave me the words I prayed for. One of my favorite parts of the day–when I came out of the auditorium after it was over and sat down at my book table. I looked up, and across the way was one of the guys who had been serving food/cleaning up. He was leaning back in a chair, completely engrossed in a book. The cover caught my eye. It was a bit scandalous.

Gabe just got home from training some folks to update their new website and offered to exchange my VS stuff for me tomorrow. He told me he’d just say, “Hey, I need to return these. They don’t fit me.” Can you imagine?

I played wiffleball with 7 kiddos this afternoon. They’re all 10 and under and impressed by how far I can hit the ball. They are less impressed by how long it takes me to get around the bases.

What other random items can I spew at you? I’m just trying to avoid the t-a-x-e-s.

So, I filled out an NCAA Tourney Bracket. I joined BooMama’s ESPN group if anyone’s interested. If any of you knew me back in the day, you can testify to the fact that I was a sports fanatic/lunatic with a capital F/L. Not so much anymore. Not sure what happened. Life, I guess. I haven’t filled out a bracket in a few years. And I haven’t watched a single second of college basketball all year long. I’ll probably win. Because back when I watched every game that ever aired all season long (and then watched multiple editions of SportsCenter highlights every night), my bracket performance was typically pitiful. This should be interesting.

And this blog post should be interesting. But it isn’t. So I’m out.

Happy Tuesday, Twiddlebugs! Oh, and if yer Irish, Happy St. Patty’s Day!

15 thoughts on “i can't do it

  1. Nixie

    I love you – you are a big encouragement in so many ways.

    Almost finished ‘Changing your nappy!’ and I have lurvvvvvved it!

    I often say ‘ Lord help me with my unbelief’

  2. Joyce

    I hear you on the taxes…we have to do UK, US Federal as well as two State returns..and we don’t even own any property! I feel your pain.

    Loved Believing God…one of the best I’ve ever done.

    Oh, and I enjoy your ‘random’ posts. Have a great day!

  3. Jennifer Griffin

    You poor thing! I’ve never been able to shop in VS…I’m sorry you had a bad time!

    I have been reading and blogging about Believing God too! I am way past the chapter but, the chapter on Idols still has me thinking. That book is a tough one to digest.

    Hang tight!

  4. Amanda

    Sorry you had a bad experience at VS. I hope Gabe has some success trading your stuff in. I nearly had an emotional breakdown last time I tried to buy a b-r-a there. A girl with no clue about huge pregnant betties and with the IQ of a breadstick nearly did me in. I’m not sure I can go back there.

  5. Jennifer

    I’m so sorry for your VS torture. You really should try shopping on their website. They sell actual clothes — not just lingerie and underwear — on their site. And they’ve been running amazing sales on their sweaters lately, so you might find a really great deal! (Which would NOT be torture, right?)

  6. Kaye

    Oh Marla, Please know I am praying for you and your family. I’m with you on the ugly word ‘taxes’…it is all just stacked up staring at me and I continue shoving it aside finding other things to do…we’ll meet that deadline, both of us, one way or the other:)
    Blessings,
    Kaye
    Matthew 21:22

  7. krisco

    Hey! I was in my bookstore yesterday looking for a devotional to do with a young lady from my church and came across your Expecting Book! 🙂 WOOHOO! “I know her”, I said to myself. 🙂

  8. Heather C

    If it makes you feel better – I had a slightly traumatizing experience at VS last time too (but I will still go back during the semi annual sale – you can’t beat a $13 bra that’s new!).

    I was trying on my usual “C” bras and they just weren’t quite fitting right. So on a whim, I tried a “D”. Sigh. My husband thought that I was excited when I called to tell him of the news! He still doesn’t quite understand why I’m not OK with “bigger boobs.”

    I’ve just chalked it up to them skewing their sizes like every other store. (True or not, it’s easier for me to accept than bigger boobs!)

  9. Laurie

    I’ve heard “Believing God” is a wonderful study – it’s one of the few of Beth Moore studies that I haven’t done. It’s on my list though. I went through a period in the last year and a half where I’ve dealt with trusting God. I have posted scripture all over the place to remind me that I can trust Him!

    I’m right there with you on the taxes. Hoping to finish things this week – finally. Thank goodness there’s another month before we have to pay!

  10. Mindy

    I just started the Believing God Bible study again too. It’s a great study (as you already know 🙂 ). Keep working through it. God is faithful. He will answer your prayers.

  11. Valerie

    What happened at the VS and which one did you go to?? If it was one of the ones at Easton I too refuse to go there, I’ve dealt with a few very rude people there. Don’t give up on them completely though…. drive out my way (a whole 35 mins) the girls that work in the smaller one at our mall are very nice and they don’t hound you during the whole trip!!! They will usually greet you when you come in, ask if you need help finding something….. if not to let them know if you need help with anything and that is all they will bother you!! 🙂 And if I find a bra there I like and they don’t have it in my size or color I’d like….. they get it shipped into the store so I don’t have to pay shipping…how awesome is that!!??

    I too am struggling with believing God, and His plan for my life at the moment…. so just know you definitely aren’t alone in this….

  12. Tonia

    Yeah, I’m curious about VS too. And I love that the guy was reading your book. Just really makes me LOL.

    But for Believing God, we just finished that study before Thanksgiving and I’m a little rusty but lets repeat together “God is who He says He is”…… I LOVED that study!!!

  13. Denise

    I am really curious now as to what happened, but I certainly wouldn’t want you to share something that hurts yah that much until you are ready. I hate VS, maybe it’s because I can’t fit into their undies, maybe they are too scandalous for me…I refuse to go into that store!

  14. Erin

    You make me smile…your blog post is interesting 🙂 I’m very curious to find out what happened at VS. I try to avoid that store…I don’t like people asking to size me every 5 min.

    I really need to know what thrift store you go to and find such great deals. PLEASE don’t keep these secrets to yourself 😉

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