misunderstood

Yesterday and today have been discouraging.

Sigh.

I’ve been trying to weigh my words as they pertain to seeking justice (concerning issues of both race and poverty), and I’ve been selective in what I say online. But several times in the past couple days, I’ve said (written) something (because I thought it was better to speak up than to stay silent), and it’s been misconstrued and misinterpreted.

And for someone who makes a living attempting to communicate thoughts and ideas clearly, it feels like a real blow. (but is probably a good lesson for someone who is also attempting to better understand friends who’ve been misunderstood their whole lives)

I thought about rebuttals and retorts, but I didn’t feel peace about the words coming to mind. (They weren’t what I’d call full of grace or seasoned with salt.)

Sigh.

I’m not giving up though. I know that’s what the devil wants. To silence my voice before I have a chance to speak out against injustice, to speak up on behalf of (and in solidarity with) the oppressed.

I’m not giving up, but I’m going to seek God first and his righteousness before I go any further. I want to spend some serious time in prayer, in soul-searching, and by that, I mean God-searching.

I want to know what words/actions would please him most.

I want to put my pride aside, adopt an attitude of humility, but also boldness.

I want to do what’s right.

I’m taking a little trip on an airplane for a few days (speaking at a conference down south where they squeeze people’s necks–okay, maybe not that far south–I’m not really sure). I’m going to take deep breaths, read my Bible, talk to God a lot, and listen for his voice even more.

And keep deepening my soul for justice.

I’m looking forward to it. And I’ll see you next week. In the meantime, I’d love your prayers. xoxoxo