Ever heard that line? If you’ve read Blushing Bride, you might remember it from p. 139 (but I’m pretty sure the author stole it from someone else). Believe me or no, it’s gospel truth. Well, I suppose there might be an exception. I have a delightful friend who once asked me, “Is it wrong to hope if I ever get married that my husband’s family is dead?” I guess if your husband doesn’t have a family, then you won’t have to marry them. But as nice as that might sound to some of you, how sad is that??
So, in-laws. Wow. Talk about a loaded word. So much emotion packed into those six little letters and a hyphen. Let me start off by saying that my in-laws are wonderful. All of them. Mom-in-law, dad-in-law, 2 sisters-in-law and 3 brothers-in-law. I love them to bits. Oh, believe you me, there have been some rough patches with pretty nigh all of them, but we’ve worked through it, and these 7 people are some of my favorites on earth. Now, I’m just speculating here, but I’ll bet that a big chunk of you have an in-law relationship that’s a little less rosy. (Please, no hands!)
And old pal called me up a couple weeks ago for some in-law advice. I mean, I wrote some chapters on the topic (2 in Blushing, 1 in Diapers), so I must be an expert, right? But, wow, her situation was a tough one. I gave her what little advice I could and encouraged her to pray her ever-lovin’ brains out.
Now here I sit with a 2-inch stack of loose papers beside me on my desk. It’s a pile of typed-up stuff about in-laws–half-finished chapters, surveys from friends, scribbled ideas and outlines. What gives, you ask?
Here’s the deal (i totally over-use those three words): I already mentioned the 2 in-law chapters in Blushing. Then I wrote Is That All (no in-law chapters in the sex book–ha!) However, as I read through my anonymous surveys, more than a few gals mentioned in-laws as a huge roadblock to intimacy in their marriage beds. Say huh?!? So, I homed in on the topic, wrote up a proposal, and it got shot down at the publishing committee meeting. “Cute, appealing, yada-yada, but there’s just no market for in-law books.” It seems that Christian women want books on improving their marriages, their mothering, their spiritual growth and their homes. Getting along with their husbands’ families? Yeah, not so much.
So. There the book sits. From time to time, I’ll get comments or e-mails–“When ya gonna write that in-law book? I need it yesterday!” Well, now, I don’t know. Part of me thinks I just might try to resurrect it one of these days. Most of us could use such a book, if we’re honest. But how much of us are actually willing to invest blood, sweat and tears (and $12.99) into someone we don’t even like at the moment?
So, I thought about asking how many of you would read a book about in-laws. But even if I got 500 comments in the affirmative, 500 copies sold does not a “successful” book make. But I do have all kinds of too-good-to-waste stuff on the topic. And I’d love to share some snippets of it with you now and again (not too often–don’t despair, my fabulous single friends!). So, I just need to know which parts of my research/surveys/charming anecdotes you’d care to read.
Here are your options: 1.) What do you call your in-laws? (mom/dad, Mr./Mrs., nothing!) 2.) What kind of first impression did you make on your in-laws? 3.) What are the dynamics of your hubby’s relationship with his mama? 4.) Do you compare yourself to any of your sisters-in-law? 5.) Why is your husband’s family so odd? 6.) Do you find yourself dreading holidays?
Feel free to choose a question you’d most like me to address. Or share something in-law-related that’s on your mind. But please do exercise some caution. Let’s not have any rudeness or slander. And unbeknownst to you, your mother-in-law just might read my blog. This is the internet you know, not some private chat room.
If you have something to ask the teacher in private, you can always e-mail me. As long as you remember that I’m no therapist, and you take my advice at your own risk. And if you haven’t read Blushing, there’s a good chance your question might have been already answered there. I’ll even make you a deal--buy Blushing between now and Wednesday at noon, and I’ll throw in a second copy for free!
And I should probably apologize to the guys. I wrote this whole post as if I were talking to a woman. But you’re smart fellas. You can adapt, right?
Have a Delightful Day, friends!