well, break my mama heart

EDIT #2: I’m better now. After shutting myself in the bathroom and crying on the floor in the dark for a few minutes. 🙂 Livi liked almost NONE of the shorts/capris. At first I was just mad at her. (and I said some things that weren’t very nice) Then I realized her pickiness is only half the problem.  A lot of them just didn’t fit her body right. I apologized. I feel sad. But we’ll get through this. She liked the longish soccer shorts. 🙂 And as usual, Ava liked most of her rejects. Sigh.

EDIT: I hit the jackpot at the thrift store! (I’ll have her model some of the clothes for some pics soon.) Thank you, Lord! And thank you guys for praying! Have a grantastical weekend!

We just got home a little bit ago (more on that in a sec), and I was putting the girls to bed…

Livi: _________ (girl on bus) told me that if I keep wearing the same pants she’s not going to be my friend.
Me: (stunned, not sure how to respond)
Livi: (trying not to cry)
Me: Oh, honey. I’m so sorry she said that to you. That wasn’t nice of her at all!
Ava: Well, I’m gonna tell ________ that I’m not going to be her friend!
Me: Ava, we have to be nice. We can’t be mean back.
Ava: (with a huff) Well, if she’s not gonna love Livi, then I’m not gonna like her!
Me: (trying not to cry)

Poor Livi has 2 problems when it comes to her wardrobe. 1.) she’s tall and skinny, so nothing fits her right. And 2.) she super-picky, so even if it fits her, she finds something “wrong” with it.

Soooo…Ava has a ton of clothes, because she wears all the ones Livi rejects. Poor Livi has one pair of jeans, one pair of khaki corduroys, one pair of khaki capris. She wore the corduroy pants Mon. and Tues. of this week and told me Tuesday that the girl said, “Why do you wear the same pants two days in a row?” Gabe told her he wears the same pair of jeans over and over (until he spills something on them), and that that was perfectly fine to do.

I forgot about it until tonight. I know she was over-tired by the time we got home and they got in bed, but the poor thing was so distraught and crying. I don’t get this, because the girl who told her this is a 4th grader and so, so sweet. She’s been a friend to Livi all year. Why in the world would she make fun of her for wearing the same pants two days in a row?

I’m going to the thrift store tomorrow afternoon and praying God blesses me with four pairs of beautiful capris that fit Livi perfectly. (and a pair of long soccer shorts!) I’d take her out of school and make an appointment with a personal shopper at Macy’s, but tax month isn’t the best time for us to spend hundreds of dollars on our 7-year-old’s wardrobe. Especially a 7-year-old who grows three inches a month.

I feel like saying things to the girl-on-the-bus, but I think I’ll just let Ava handle her.

Guess where we went tonight! To Josh and Liz’s! You know, my long-lost friend, Liz? We had a wonderful, wonderful time. We ate outside, and the kids played so well together. (they have a 3-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl) They got absolutely filthy. We played frisbee, flew a kite, they found ants, we had a scrummy meal. We have a lot in common, and it was just a really great time.

Congrats to Jenn, the winner of Hope Lives! I need your new address, Jenn! And Krista and Jamie, I love you to pieces, but you’re both going to have to get over this sore loser bit. Let’s be big about this, girls. We can’t all win all the time. And we really should be happy for others in their victories. I think you need to go congratulate our winner. Just click on the little linky above.

Have a Fantankerous Friday!! (it can mean whatever you want it to mean, as long as it’s something happy)

31 thoughts on “well, break my mama heart

  1. terriwright

    One thing I do know: girls that age have a mean streak. (Some of them). Poor little baby.

    You MIGHT have to spend a little more….a happy baby is worth it. Or….you could put her in one of those polygamy place dresses????????

  2. gsowell

    ^^Kiki’s on to something. Beg the PTA to do uniforms. They are wonderful! The public high school I taught required uniforms. Loved it. Just awesome!^^

    Sorry that she was not as receptive as you hoped. Sorry you turned into “momster mom.” (That’s my new title for when I say things to my kids that I know are not good.) Prayed for you and this situation. You’re really a great mom, you know? Great!

  3. Hoffmom

    Do you ever sell at consignment stores?  Instead of passing more than enough down to Ava, turn right around and resell the pants Livi rejected.  Most consignment stores keep an account for you, and it’s SO helpful to go in when you need something and already have money there.  I just keep that as my clothing stash whenever the kids need something.  Also, with my very picky son….when we find something that he loves, we buy several of them!  The advice to go purchase several of the same brand is good advice!  

  4. scottnjes

    Poor sweet Livi. You responded very well. I’m glad she’s in a home where she’s going to learn that it’s not about cloths, it’s about Jesus. big hugs!

  5. GracefulKiki

    Sooo it’s late and I didn’t have the patience to read all the other comments.  But I do know one thing about kids, even fourth graders…they can’t help their honesty.  I bet she was literally just stating the obvious. However…it still hurts, I’m sure.  Although I work in a school full of uniformed kids…sigh…they wear the same clothes for days and days…

  6. beccajanern

    Bless her sweet little heart!  Praying that you can find something for that girl to wear.  I just hate it that her feelings got hurt like that, all about something as silly as clothes. 

  7. Runmamarun

    I can totally relate to Livi’s clothes issue–I also had the same problem finding clothes to fit when I was her age–I still do! It’s very frustrating.  Goodwill is a great place!  We also have several kids’ consignment shops here as well–wonderful stuff! Glad that you got some things that she likes and that fit. Looking forward to seeing the pictures!

      ( Weekends are also great for running a little bit longer!!! I have the same problem as you on Bible study days–I usually try to run or cross train afterwards instead of before.  Keep it up!!!) 

  8. faithchick

    poor livi.   could you try ebay for the same exact brands of pants she likes & maybe find them in different colors?  it hasn’t worked for me yet, but i always try when i find something i love for me or the kids.

  9. ClutzyButtercup

    Sorry, my brain is a little fuzzy from too many over the counter drugs to combat sinus and bronchial yuck.  Children are an interesting breed…never sure what they will say or do.

  10. ClutzyButtercup

    I think I can top Krista and Jamie in the never winning dept…I am the biggest loser!  🙂

    As for the girl on the bus…Although the comment was very hurtful to Livi she may not have intended it that way.  Children are just BRUTALLY honest.  I have seen it over and over.  I have had many opportunities to talk to children about hurtful things they have said and often they are clueless as to why the person was hurt by it until you really make them think about it.  Of course, we never do this as adults!  😉

  11. jessyomama

    hey next time you’re down here we should go to the goodwill and the consignment shops in CENTERVILLE! i love rich people’s hand-me-downs! (we’ll get the boys to babysit while we shop!)

  12. CamilleElizabeth

    Sorry to hear about this! I can relate. I remember being in 5th grade and wearing this white sweatshirt with a pink stripe in the middle. I wore it a lot because I liked it, probably almost every day. We didn’t have very many clothes because our family was not well off. My feelings were hurt on the day I got on the bus and a “friend” told me this:

    “Ha! Yes! I’m the winner! See, we were taking bets on if you would wear that sweatshirt today or not and I win! Because you always wear it!”

    Everyone was laughing at me, and I felt really bad. You are doing a great thing by encouraging them both – even if it is hard. Kids are just cruel sometimes (a lot). Good luck at the thrift store! I love thrift stores!

  13. SuperGirlAmelia

    Ugh. I am so not looking forward to those days coming with my little one. That does break a Mama’s heart! Regarding the clothing…you need a seamstress, one who can make things out of fabrics that are comfy for Livi (Ilana is super picky about fabrics and the way things feel) and who can also build in length so when she grows 3 inches in a month you have plenty of hem to let out. I happen to know a very good seamstress who lives really close to you who’s had a LOT of experience with making kids clothes ;). I’m sure she’d be happy to help you out if you ever want. My Mama is amazing with the machine and taught me everything I know, and knows how to score really good deals on fabric and patterns. 🙂

  14. OkinawaAna

    I can’t believe that girls that young would already be catty like that!  I remember conversations like that from my own years in junior high… but not elementary school!  I’m praying that you find some great clothes for Livi.  I’m also praying that exchanges with mean little girls will only help her to grow into a kind, caring, sensitive, godly young lady, even if the words sometimes hurt. 

  15. Airdee26

    Poor Livi, obviously Savannah isn’t old enough to have gone through something like that but I’m sure my heart would break for her too.  I remember times like that when I was a child…we didn’t have much money and my mom was sick so I had only my dad to rely on for clothing (not a good combo).  Kids can be cruel even sweet kids.  They’re just so blunt!

    I’ll be praying for a great trip to the thrift store.  Do you have a specific one you go to?  I’ve gone to Once upon a child and a new one in Hilliard.  But my friend said there are several up near polaris.

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