the birdz and the beez

After dinner tonight, Gabe suggested we go on a family photo walk to the Metro Gardens. Nina and I went yesterday (Monday) and saw two snakes, two turtles, and a slew of frogs, and Gabe was in the mood for some wildlife shots.

As we were piling in the van, a little girl across the street just about got hit by a car chasing the bouncy ball that had gotten away from her. Gabe turned to the girls, “That’s how I got hit by a car when I was eight. I was chasing after a ball and didn’t look both ways.”

As we drove down the street, the girls were discussing how tragic that would have been if Daddy had gotten killed.

“If Daddy would have died, I wouldn’t be here,” Ava said.

“Is that all you can think about?” I asked. “What about Daddy?”

“If Daddy would’ve been killed,” Nina said, “then Ava wouldn’t be born, because Mommy and Daddy couldn’t have insects.”

I’ll let her comment sink in for a few seconds, because that’s how long it took me to realize what she meant. And it took every last drop of my willpower to respond to her without laughing.

“Do you mean SEX?” I said.

“Yeah, sex,” she said, sheepishly.

Her older sisters started HOWLING. Ava had tears in her eyes she was laughing so hard. And if there’s one thing Nina can’t hack, it’s her sisters laughing at her when she’s not trying to be funny.

So she started wailing.

And Gabe reprimanded Livi and Ava.

And I sat there biting the inside of my lip and looking out the window.

The whole time we were at the Metro Gardens, “insects” kept popping into my head, and I could grin freely because no one knew the real reason.

On the way out, we grabbed a Park Scope magazine, and Nina perused it from her booster seat. “Look at these frogs, Mommy,” she said. “They’re on top of each other.”

Mating wood frogs, the caption read. How appropo.

I grinned at her. “That’s because they’re having insects.”

13 thoughts on “the birdz and the beez

  1. Pingback: oh, nina. | Marla Taviano

  2. Kelli

    This is one of the reasons I can’t wait to have older kids. Hilarous.

    Oh wait this is one of the reasons I am not ready to have older kids. I am not mature enough not to laugh. HA 😉

  3. ali

    I’m so sick of living so far away from you. And yes, 15 miles is too far. I need a dose of Nina in my life everyday. And Ava. And Livi. And Marla. And I guess Gabe, too.

  4. liz

    Are you kidding?? I am still laughing.. Thanks for your post this morning Marla.. you are a blessing.. I amy have to share on Face Book to make others smile this morning!

  5. Sharon W

    Laughed so hard when I saw the quote on Twitter last night. And then got to thinking, would you share how you taught your kiddos about “insects” and at what age(s)? I’ve only been following your blog since Joanne’s stroke, so let me know if you already have a blog post on it. Thanks!

    1. Marla Taviano

      Oh goodness. That’s a great question. Livi and Ava were probably 6 and 5. We were sitting on my bed and (I think) Livi was reading her Bible. “What’s a virgin?” she asked. And somehow I just started unloading. It came in handy when we went to 52 Zoos a couple years ago. 🙂

      I realized a few months ago that Nina had missed that whole thing, so I explained to her what sex was. Our philosophy is to share freely and openly so that they’re not afraid/ashamed to talk about it with us. Sex (and insects) comes up pretty frequently in conversation around here. Maybe I could do a post on it sometime.

  6. Kathleen-NM

    Oh this made me laugh so hard today when I saw it on twitter! I loooonnnnnggg for the days when we were talking about insects!

    Cannot wait for the progression of this book and the posts that come with it.

    Having lunch with one of my favorite younger gal pals tomorrow, she works at our ABQ zoo, with the apes…she is a vet in the making, a giraffe freak, and has amazing stories about zoo life. Wish you could join!

    1. Marla Taviano

      Oh. My. Goodness. I would looooooooove to be there!!! Have fun!!

      p.s. SOMEDAY I will visit your zoo. Did I tell you we stayed super close to it on our final zoo trip but didn’t have time to work it in?

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