Today we continue a fun interview with my hilarious cousin, Kyla. If you missed Part 1, check it out here.

And she’s baaack!

Please share your favorite childhood memory of you and Marla.

I recall the prestigious Mary Lou Retton Club we co-founded with particular fondness.  Membership was quite exclusive and consisted of Marla, myself, and my younger sister Kelly (on the days she was cool enough and worshipped Mary Lou Retton properly—the rest of the time she was banished).  The minutes of our meetings involved high-level activities such as sitting in a circle talking about cute boys.  Just before her wedding, Marla, who must have been struggling with guilt for years, presented Kelly with a plaque declaring her “President of The Mary Lou Retton Club!”  I’m still a little bitter about it, frankly.

Now, share a memory of Marla you’d just as soon forget.

Does that mean “memory of a time when Marla was something other than her usual gentle, soft-tongued self”?  Hmmm.  I once watched with great interest as Marla dominated three young individuals in her care (to preserve the dignity of the victims, we’ll call them Mosh, Methany, and Mephanie) by kicking one, snarling at the second, and slapping a defenseless thumb out of the third’s mouth.  I’m actually glad I didn’t forget this occurrence, as it taught me valuable lessons about the fundamentals of sibling supervision.

You spent some time as missionary in Indonesia when you were young. What impact did that have on your life?

The years I spent there really did play a big part in shaping who I am.  I have a tender heart for people from other nations, particularly poverty-stricken ones.  Our family will always be involved in missions in some way.  I have little tolerance for spoiled, self-centered Americans.  I feel completely at home in multicultural environments, and I could eat Asian food for every meal until I die.

What do you see as some of the biggest injustices in the world today, and what are you doing to bring about change?

I assume you’re looking for a response less trivial than “Starbucks no longer manufactures Frappuccino Bars” (though my attempt to bring about change in that case was a strongly worded letter).  More seriously, it hurts my heart that there are kids in other countries who are hungry and uneducated.  Dave and I sponsor a little Indonesian girl named Kartini through World Vision.  It makes me smile when she writes us letters about being able to attend school and wanting to be a teacher when she grows up.  We can’t change everyone’s life, but I pray we have helped to change hers for the better.

Besides the obvious (your offspring), what accomplishment are you most proud of?

In 2004, I directed a high school production of Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the original Early Modern English.  It received fantastic reviews, which made the months of hard work all worth it.  As icing on the cake, I was named Teacher of the Year for our county by a private foundation.  They gave me a hefty check and honored me at a banquet for which I showed up sorely underdressed.  Chris Evert (of tennis and multiple divorces fame) presented my trophy.  When I came up to the stage, she told me I looked way too young to be receiving such a prestigious award.  I’m President of her fan club now.  Take that, Marla.

What is one of your biggest regrets?

Well, while we’re on the subject, I rather regret destroying my pictures of the above banquet because I thought I looked hideous.  I’m sure I was overreacting…I probably just looked really bad.

How do you feel about living in Florida? Would you live somewhere else if you could? Where?

I have lived in South Florida for almost 15 years, 8 of which have been in the Ft. Lauderdale area.  It is beautiful, warm, full of culture, and our brand new house is likely to be threatened by looming hurricane-force winds only five mere months out of the year.  We love to travel to other places, but I hope we never move.

As you well know, Marla has been on your case for quite some time to write a book. She thinks you’re one of the most talented, funny writers she knows. What steps are you taking to make Marla’s dreams come true?

Thanks, Marla!  You’re such an encouragement to me.  I’m working on it, and sometimes my output even exceeds one paragraph per week.  I’ll email you a preview if you like.

You’re welcome, Kyla. Thank YOU. I love you dearly, and SERIOUSLY, you write a book, and I will personally see to it that EVERY SINGLE PERSON I know buys multiple copies. Your humor is brilliant, and you’re a beautiful person to boot.

Have a great day, everyone! (and please give Kyla some book ideas)