knock, knock

Who’s there? Tuba. Tuba who? Tuba toothpaste!

If you lived with me, you would have heard this joke thirty-eight hundred times in the past two weeks. It’s the only joke Nina knows. And she adores it. At least it’s better than the one my brother Josh used to tell when he was a little bit older than Nina is now.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brown. Brown who? I’m wearing a brown sweater!

Nice. My mom used to always tell us her little brother, Tracy’s, favorite knock-knock joke when he was a small fry. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kool-aid. Kool-aid who? Kool-aid church!

I love it.

So, Livi and Ava are at that age where corny jokes amuse them. And they like to share them with us. While we’re riding in the van and can’t escape. I borrowed a couple “boredom buster” books from the library for our trip, and hooray–they have corny jokes in them! Like, “What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?” And, “What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?”

Or the one that made me laugh today, not because it was funny, but because of Gabe. “Why was six afraid of seven?” Ava asks. “Because eight nine!” Gabe shouts, proud to know the answer. “Because eight nine?” I say. “Because eight nine? Do you perhaps mean, ‘because seven eight nine?'” It’s possible that you had to be there to fully appreciate the humor. It’s also possible that you mightn’t have found it funny even then. Gabe didn’t.

Another joke from my mom’s childhood–Why is a grapefruit? Give up? Because the faster it does, the much. If you don’t get it, it’s okay. It’s un-get-able. I told it to our babysitter, B.J., when I was growing up. She was such a sweet, gullible soul. I pretended that everyone else got it, why couldn’t she? B.J. also believed that I knew a second language. I would just start speaking it out of the blue, and she would beg to know what I was saying, but I wouldn’t tell her. Poor, dear B.J.

Anyway. Do you know Brian Regan? Comedian, hilarious, very dry humor. His first CD starts out with him saying he can tell what everyone’s thinking, “Ya got some jokes? Why don’t you start churnin’ ’em out, Circus Boy?”

I know you want me to start churnin’ out some jokes, so here are three of my favorites from high school. If I remember correctly, I thought they were funny.

What’s orange and lights up? An electric carrot.

What’s orange and falls off walls? Humpty Pumpkin.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

So, tell me, what was your favorite joke as a kid? And it goes without saying (but I’m apparently saying it anyway), keep ’em clean.

23 thoughts on “knock, knock

  1. jess

    ^oh, i lied. i didn’t read the answer…here’s how our fave used to go:

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there
    Banana
    Banana who?

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there
    Banana
    Banana who?

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there
    Banana
    Banana who?

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there
    Orange
    Orange who?
    Orange you glad i didn’t say banana?

  2. jess

    ^^oh, i was gonna say that one. only we used to say banana, not strawberry.

    Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
    A: put a little boogie in it.

    (my bro’s fave as a kid):
    Q: What’d the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
    A: Where’s my tractor
    (duh.)

  3. Denise

    This is one my brother used to tell, at the time he was in kindergarten, thought it was hilarious.

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there
    Strawberry
    Strawberry who?

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there
    Strawberry
    Strawberry who?

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there
    Orange
    Orange who?
    Orange, strawberry, cherry I’m going to eat you.

    Yup the mind of a youngin’!

  4. Bethany

    What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese! (not your cheese)

    Knock, knock
    Who’s there?
    Little old lady
    Little old lady who?
    I didn’t know you could yodel!

    Knock, knock
    Who’s there?
    The interrupting cow
    The interr——-
    MOO!!!

  5. Kara

    After spending a couple of years teaching 2nd graders I think that I have a special appreciation for corny jokes. 🙂

    Knock, knock
    Who’s there?
    Cows go.
    Cows go who?
    No, silly, cows go moo and owls go whooo!

  6. krisha Fansler

    Do you remember Fat Albert? Well, I didn’t watch the show much as a kid, but enough to know that he always said, “Hey, Hey, Hey!” So, here’s that joke that I found oh, so funny as a kid (probably because I had 2 brothers ).

    What did Fat Albert say when he say on the toilet?

    Hey, hey hey! Bombs Away!

    Yes, I am very embarrassed right now. But felt I just had to share!!!!

  7. Kim Webb

    Brian taught Kara a knock knock joke.

    Knock, Knock
    Who’s there
    Boo
    Boo Who
    Don’t Cry

    Then my favorite as a kid we who do you call when you hurt your toe… the toe truck.

    It still makes me giggle inside. I thought I was so funny 🙂

    Love you and miss you guys. Kara prays for Nina everyday. Oh and her family.

  8. Stephanie

    Q: Who’s bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s baby?

    A: Mr. Bigger’s baby, because he’s a little Bigger.

    Mom and I used to LOVE that joke, but I’m pretty sure she was humoring me.

  9. deanna

    Knock, Knock!
    Who’s there?
    Dwayne.
    Dwayne who?
    Dwayne the bathtub, I’m drowning!!!!

    My sister and I use to tell this joke all the time as kids. It was one of our favorites because our Dad’s name is Dwayne.

    But now the jokes on me because my husband’s name is Dwayne too! 🙂

  10. Gail

    Q: Why did the boy bubble follow the girl bubble around the bathroom?

    A: He wanted to see her bust.

    (I know that is pushing the envelope, but what is cleaner than bubbles?)

  11. Jenny L

    Wait….I might have gotten that backwards….I think the snail took a ride on the turtles back……..I’m not a very good joke teller 🙂

  12. Jenny L

    Funny Post Marla!! Glad you’re having fun on your trip!!! Here is my favorite joke: What did the Turtle say when he took a ride on the snails back?? WHEEEEEEEEE!
    That could be a “Zoo” joke – right? 🙂

  13. gitz

    Should I be embarrassed that I spent a long time on the un-get-able joke before I read the next sentence and you told us it made no sense?

    Because if I should be embarrassed by that I want you to know I just skimmed right past it. Didn’t give it a second thought. No siree.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *