Have to chuckle just a bit. This Mommy Blogging is having a few effects on my Momming Life. For one, I was so busy typing my last post on the balcony yesterday morning that I didn’t realize my kids were still sleeping until 9 minutes before the bus (tuk-tuk) came to take us to school. Oops.
And since I’m blogging about Mommy Things instead of injustice & what have you, my thoughts & feelings have to have a place to go. My journal is bursting, but even that’s not enough. My girlies got a 30-minute history lesson yesterday on their bedroom floor on things like the Confederate flag and Japanese internment camps in WW2 and what does the Bible say about fear and is it possible to pledge allegiance to two kingdoms simultaneously?
Very light and breezy fare.
The really cool thing is that they are a very captive audience. They bring these things up and ask questions and want to know why people do the things they do.
I kind of love them.
So, I told you I re-read my book, Changing Your World One Diaper at a Time, the other day. And I was afraid that I’d changed so much since then that I’d cringe at everything I wrote.
So thankful that wasn’t true.
And when I read this section at the almost-end of the book, tears welled up in my eyes, and I had a little praise-and-thank-you time with Jesus.
From 7 years ago…
Do you ever feel that your life–the life you really want–is on hold? While your kiddos are small, should you put your dreams on the shelf to gather dust?
To everything there is a season. We cannot be and do everything all at once. But we can be wonderful mothers and still pursue our dreams. Not full-time, no, but little bits at a time.
We just have to pray for balance–God’s balance. We have to carefully weigh every choice we make.
There are no easy answers. I personally think I have the best of both worlds, but that’s not always possible for everyone. When I’m struggling with mommy-hood and wishing for something more “exciting,” I try to imagine my life without my girls. If I weren’t a mom, I’d have all the time in the world to pursue my writing and my hobbies. I could read for hours and hours, devouring piles of books every week. I could travel and learn photography and have the most organized home in the world.
And I’d be a miserable mess–crying my eyes out every day for a baby because I’ve always wanted to be a mommy.
I dream of writing and speaking and traveling the globe. I dream of family mission trips and sharing book royalties with people in need across the world. I dream of living completely debt-free and having someone else clean my home twice a month or so. I dream of meeting fabulous people from all walks of life and all countries of origin. I dream of Gabe quitting his job and pouring his heart into a ministry he loves. I dream of serving God all day every day with my family.
But I don’t want to wish today away. Yes, pursuing all those dreams will be easier when my little ones aren’t so little. But I have to build a foundation with them now so they’ll have the desire to serve Christ when they’re older. I don’t want to long for the days when my girls are grown and I am “free to do my own thing.”
I want to enjoy each moment. I want to live my dream now. Sure, it will change and grow and evolve as my family does, but I don’t ever want to pursue it at their expense.
I’ve had to stop and think for a moment. I’m 32 years old and in the prime of my life. This is what I was created to do–to be a mom to little girls. To lay the foundations for them to be godly women and good moms.
Why would I want to wish these days away for more time and freedom? Do I really want my girls to be 16, 14, and 12? Do I want to be in my forties? My fifties?
Don’t I want to have something to look forward to? These are the anticipation years–when the best still lies ahead. Isn’t that the place I want to be? Where the best is always yet to come? And, ironically, that can happen only if I’m having the best time of my life now, each day I live bringing more joy than the one before it.
It turns out it wasn’t an easy path to get from those heart-dreams to living them in reality, but it was worth every minute, and I have no regrets.
And with just 3 months left before I turn 40, I’m pretty confident there’s still some “best yet to come.”
Hang in there, sweet Mama.
Marla the Mommy Blogger (for 2 more days)