Comments on: i’m almost afraid to ask

By: Gretchen

Gretchen — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:09:23 +0000

My inlaws are kind people. They’re just not my kind of people. Seriously. I will always love them, but wanting to hang out and just relax? No. Not in almost 25 years. Can’t get past the elephant-in-the-room issues that we aren’t supposed to talk about. I suppose it doesn’t make sense to them that we don’t see them as often as they’d like.

Sighing.

By: Kelsie

Kelsie — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 14:41:30 +0000

I can relate to Bethany. I am very blessed with both families. I’m so sorry for those who have real struggles with their families and in-laws. I encourage you all to trust that the Lord is perfecting you through it.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 02:56:35 +0000

My husband’s mother died when we were first married, and his dad and step-mom live across the country from us. Until he remarried, his dad had very little contact with any of his kids. Even today, it is his step-mom who I know is really responsible for the birthday cards coming, keeping in touch by phone, the endless invitations to come visit them, etc. She is a real mom to them. Sometimes I wonder if something would happen to her, would his dad go back to the way it was before.

My family? Let’s see. I know he thinks my mom is a drama queen and is very selfish at times, and he is exactly right. She is also very skilled at guilt-trips. He doesn’t understand why I often let this sway my decisions and why I choose to have peace over fairness.

By: Carrie Doolan

Carrie Doolan — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 02:43:56 +0000

1. One thing that my in-laws do that doesn’t make sense to me is that they don’t plan ahead. It sometimes causes arguments between my husband and I. He has a crazy work schedule (which they know), we also only have one car (which they also know), and we live an hour away from them and my husband works an hour away from them and from our home so it becomes difficult trying to coordinate our schedules but in planning ahead I feel that it would make things a little easier.

2. My husband doesn’t understand why my family and I talk so loudly when standing right next to each other. He doesn’t get that when we get excited about a topic we easily get louder and louder without realizing it and to him it sounds like we are yelling at one another.

By: amber

amber — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:56:45 +0000

Let me preface by saying that I love my inlaws. I do. But what I can’t stand is that my father-in-law rattles his tea glass at my mother-in-law, and she goes s.w.i.f.t.l.y. to fill it up. The husband even begins to think about shaking his glass at me, and he gets the look.

AND. My mother-in-law brings an ice chest of COOKED food to my house when they come visit. I’m sure she thinks she’s helping…but all I see is a huge flashing neon sign that says “YOU CAN’T FEED MY BABY.”

Oh…you only asked for two. Sorry.

Let’s see…my family is pretty much perfect so I’m sure that there is NOTHING that annoys the husband about our clan. Ahem. But I have heard him say that we are all a bunch of cheaters when it comes to games. We really don’t cheat…we just happen to have family rules and inside tricks that he and my BIL haven’t learned yet.
Not our fault that they can’t hang.

By: Omom

Omom — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:23:29 +0000

As I read through these comments, I feel so sad. I have struggled with my inlaws having favorites and thought it was just something I dealt with, but obviously not. I am strangely comforted by the fact that i am not alone, yet totally saddened by it. Why do people play favorites? Is it the relationships are better with some? Is it because they live closer? I simply don’t get it.

By: meghan @ spicy magnolia

meghan @ spicy magnolia — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 15:28:06 +0000

Reading some of these entries gives me knots in my tummy! Bless your heart as you mull through and write about them in more detail!!

1) How close my hubby’s extended family is to each other. Of course, I could expound if you want me to.

2) That food (where we eat, what we’re having) is the center of our family holidays and get togethers as opposed to other activities. As Kay wrote above, it’s a Southern thing: the meal is the deal!

By: Mrs Lemon

Mrs Lemon — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 02:43:49 +0000

Oh – I thought of #2 – my parents tend to “adopt” lonely people and call them their kids, and thusly their kids are their grandkids. It’s not a huge deal, but it doesn’t make sense to my husband.

By: Mrs Lemon

Mrs Lemon — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 02:42:26 +0000

1) have birthday parties for EVERYONE. Come on – let me plan my husband’s birthday party, please. (this aggravates him too, actually, so it’s kinda funny!)
2) I’m not sure. We should have that conversation though.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 22:52:48 +0000

1) Plan things really far in advance.
2) Plan things at the last minute.