i just don't have it in me

I’m fine. Just can’t find the oomph to write.

And the winner of God.ol.o.gy is…

Here are your random numbers:


Timestamp: 2009-03-04 03:33:17 UTC

…the delightful Christine Smith, wedding photographer extraordinaire! E-mail me your mailing address, Christine. Great questions, everybody! Wow.

Today had its share of trials, but God kept peeking His head around the corner to make sure I was doing all right. I was (ish). I don’t really care to re-live any of it at the moment now. Thanks for understanding.

My pastor’s wife sent me an e-mail last week that started off with, “Here’s a wild thing the Lord had me think…” Tammy is a wild kind of girl. Pastor’s wife, psychologist, speaker, author, mom to 2 pre-teen boys. She asked me to come with her and our friend Kim to a retreat she’s speaking at this Fri/Sat. She had no idea that I had sick children and had just gotten back from urgent care with the worst face-ache of my life. And to think that God talked to her about me, and she listened, and she acted. Well, humble me to pieces.

Thanks for loving me, God.

Since I hate to be a party-pooper and give you nothing to chew on today, how about this–is there anything in your life that you keep trying to do right, but you keep messing up? I have a very dumb one, but not so dumb that it didn’t have me in tears this afternoon. I have this very (very, very) bad habit of driving somewhere (usually on the bypass around my city)–somewhere familiar–and missing the exit because I’m completely lost in a daydream. And the daydream usually involves me writing a book (or blog or essay of some sort) in my head. I tell myself when I start driving that I’m going to pay attention, and without fail, my resolve weakens, and without realizing it, I’m sucked in and driving right past my exit.

I did it on Saturday. And on Monday. And again today. And if I had driven on the freeway on Sunday, I’m sure I would have done it then too. And as soon as Gabe reads this, I’m going to hear it. I conveniently forgot to tell him about all three instances. And Monday’s was a triple-dip, meaning that as I backtracked, I ended up missing two more exits.

Someone PLEASE share something to make me feel better. The dumber it is, the more I will like you. Or if it’s something serious, feel free to share that too. Anonymously even.

And somehow, I managed to spew out 450 words when I really meant to stop at “Thanks for understanding” a few hundred words back.

Happy Hump Day, Friends!

20 thoughts on “i just don't have it in me

  1. Kimberly

    Ok, Mommy Dot Com made me cry with laughter.

    I nearly forgot my newborn in the hallway at preschool when I went to pick up my toddler. If he hadn’t asked, “where is baby Tommy?” I would have walked right out the door.

    Also, I can never remember paperwork to take to the doctor. That happened as recently as last week. The upside was that I remembered the baby!

  2. Mommy Dot Com

    Every time I was pregnant I would always close the car door before I got both my feet in. I guess I was faster in my mind then my body was in real life.

    Also, when preg I couldn’t walk thru a doorway w/out hitting it. I guess I was thinner in my mind than my body was in real life.

  3. LeeAnn

    I pass up exits on an alarmingly frequent basis. Generally it happens when I am somewhere I’m not familiar with so turning around becomes a panic-inducing experience.

    I also forget where I park a lot. Sometimes I wander parking lots hitting my unlock button hoping to hear a click (my car’s old enough that it no longer beeps). I always try to look like I know what I’m doing though, because appearing lost would be just too embarassing.

    (I got a chuckle out of Justamom walking into her wall, though.)

    Hope you feel better soon. Your blog always makes me feel better. 🙂

  4. Heather

    I cannot for the life of me remember how to bake a chicken. I am a smart girl but I cannot ever remember if it’s breast side up or breast side down. And then I can’t remember if it even matters. But it will bother me so much that it could matter that I have to call my mother-in-law to ask her. You’d think I would write it down, and I probably have once or twice, but I can’t find the “recipe” when I need it. Gives my M-I-L a good laugh. Hopefully, you too.

  5. Justamom

    Last week I ran into my own wall in my own house that I have lived in for quite some time. It didn’t just grow there outta nowhere . . . . or did it?? 😉 Hope you are feeling better soon.

  6. Kim Webb

    So I love that you are so transparent. The more I learn about you the more I love you! I am always obsessed with not missing my exit that I don’t let my mind go anywhere else. That is a good thing because I get to where I need to get – but it is also a bad thing in I sometimes miss a great conversation with Kara or I miss something God has for me along the way. BTW – I will drive this weekend. 🙂

  7. Denise

    So one day I head home from church…I pull into my apartment complex, walk up stairs and realize….I don’t live there anymore…I had gotten so used to the drive, i totally missed my exit and just kept going…not thinking anything of it. It was in Nov. (we had moved in Sept.), yup, I felt dumb!

  8. Sarah

    ugh-there are so many things I could write….
    I guess if I have to pick only one – it would be how every time we go away I promise myself and my husband that I’m going to have everything packed up and ready by the night before. And every time I’m somehow up until the wee hours of the morning scrambling to do laundry, and pack, and clean the house before we leave. It makes my hubby so mad, I don’t do it intentionally but somehow I always screw it up.

  9. Krista

    My freshman year of college I lived at home and commuted to school, and I got so used to taking the same exit that even on non-school days I had a tendency to unintentionally drive by wherever I was going and still take my school exit. Until the day of my microbiology final–I was obviously mentally preoccupied because I was out of city limits before I realized I hadn’t exited. Fortunately it was a small city and I still made it in plenty of time, but man what a day to break precedent!

  10. deanna

    making lists and not sticking to them

    I love to make lists for the grocery store…but either forget them at home or accidently leave them in the car. OR even worse, put them in my purse and am just too lazy (or too busy if my son is with me) to get it out and use it!!! I’m not really sure why this is so hard for me!

  11. Carrie

    Oh, my goodness, I do dumb things all the time, and I’m SO bad about getting caught up in daydreams…mostly about what a good, patient mom I’ll be when I have my five kids… 🙂 I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who spends half my days with my head in the clouds. 🙂 I’ve actually been convicted about it, though, because think of how much time I would have to spend in PRAYER if I wasn’t daydreaming, right??? 🙂

  12. Sarah S

    Wow, I’m right there with faithchick and phone calls. Glad I’m not the only one like that!

    I’ve got a good missing exits story. While we live in Cincinnati, we got married at our college church in Springfield. To save money, we drove the hour+ back to our house after the wedding instead of staying in a hotel close by. Driving along I-70, we missed our exit, but decided to keep going and get the next exit for I-75 instead. We missed that one too… only it took us awhile to realize that we’d missed it. Turned around and I think we finally got it on the third try. I was utterly exhausted from the wedding. Not exactly how we wanted to spend our wedding night!

  13. Rebecca

    Remembering things

    If I don’t write it down (and subsequently LOOK at my list/calendar/whatever regularly), then I don’t remember said thing. But even REMEMBERING to look at my list/calendar/whatever is a chore that needs its own list/calendar/whatever! HAHAHAHA Not really though. It makes me sad…

  14. Kaye

    The embarrassment of constantly headed in the direction to do a very important ‘chore’ or ‘task’ and for the life of me, forget where I’m going….and why. The hardest part of it is getting in bed at night and remembering ALL that wasn’t done. Guess a numbered list is in order for me:( Getting old isn’t for sissies for sure!
    Don’t feel bad about the missed exits, if I were in a “city”, I’d do the same thing every time I ventured out, I’m sure of it!
    Praying you and your children are feeling much better.
    May HIS riches fall upon you today and every day,
    Matthew 21:22

  15. faithchick

    two words: returning phone calls

    more words: people leave messages. i loathe the phone. it takes at least a 30 second pause before i can dial most people up (a few people, i can just call, no problem). so, when i have to return calls–i always say i’m gonna & not be an annoying non-call-returning person. but, i usually put it off & put it off & put if off until either 1) the message becomes obsolete or b) the person calls me back. 😛

    How are you feeling today? Are the kids back to normal yet? How are they?

  16. Jennifer

    This just happened once, but it sure did make me feel stupid. I made a huge peach cobbler for an event at the church and forgot the last ingredient in the microwave. I didn’t find it until after the cobbler came out of the oven…. and it didn’t look quite right. Ha! I had to make something else, and Wes had a whole not-quite-right cobbler to “enjoy.” (Which, to his credit, he pretended was the best he had ever eaten. Yeah, right!)

  17. Kelli

    It isn’t as recent but there were several days in a row that I would go into a store and set my keys down in a random place. Do my shopping and then go out to my car. Shocked and upset that I had to search the whole store for my keys. I did happen to be pregnant so maybe it was pregnancy brain. One day I cried in the car and prayed to God that I didn’t leave my child somewhere.

  18. gitz

    yes. yes. yes. the thing i keep messing up is my sleep schedule. some of it’s out of control because, even on ambien, I NEVER SLEEP. that little thing called pain keeps me up.

    but the part that i mess up on is that i just stop trying. i resolve to lay in bed by 12:30 whether I’m sleepy or not to try and train myself for sleep, but i can’t remember the last time i fell asleep before 4am (yesterday it was 5:30am). it’s brutal and it needs to change, but i keep giving up and just staying up rather than lay in bed awake.

    but since laying in bed is the first step, i’m going to finish this comment and try to get this right tonight. Ugh.

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