good mom, bad mom

I was fed up with Livi and Ava’s bickering this morning when they were supposed to watch Nina while I took a shower (but stopped along the way to check xanga, which was not part of the deal). I can’t even remember all the details now, but Ava was starving and wanted gogurt (drinkable yogurt), so I got it out of the fridge and threw it over the gate at the top of the stairs, not even caring if the seal ripped open and it spilled everywhere. It hit Livi in the head. Oops. She starts bawling, “Why did you throw that at me?!?!” “I didn’t mean to. I meant to throw it at your sister.” That didn’t sound right. (someone asked yesterday why people don’t share the “bad mom” moments–i’ve got tons more where that came from)

Good news for me about that book signing thing in Indy at the end of the month. The people who come to these trade shows are all bookstore owners, and the publishers give away their books for free. So, I’ve been assured people will be lining up to have me sign books they didn’t have to pay for. Nice.

I get to meet my agent, Bill, at the show. He lives in Oregon. I was talking to him last night and he said that he wished they were doing it in Nashville instead of Indy, because more people come. “Have you ever been to Indianapolis?” he asked me.

“A couple times,” I said.

“The end of January is the worst time to go to Indy,” he told me.

Why, I’m thinking–football playoffs, lots of people??

“It’s freezing cold,” he said, “and wet and just awful.”

I had to smile. “Bill, I live in Columbus. Same.” Twin cities–C-bus and Indy. Not all of us can live in the Pacific Northwest.

I try my hardest to stay ahead of my laundry piles, but I was already behind yesterday when poor Ava wet the bed last night (which she does about 3 times a year). She was on the top bunk. 🙂 I change their sheets about 3 times a year 🙂 because it’s such a pain. Too bad I changed them last week. Grrr…

My first-cousin-once-removed 🙂 came for a visit yesterday morning with her 5-year-old daughter Anah, who was adopted from China. Tari brought coffee cake and cappuccino and teacups and napkins and a gift for me. How lovely. I am the world’s worst hostess, so that was nice of her. 🙂 She was inspired by my organization and lack of clutter. Today, as I looked around my house, I kept thinking, “Ha! What if she could see it today?” If you come to my house for the first time (and I know you’re coming), it’s going to look pretty good–even if it kills me. The 2nd time? Well, no promises. Ideally, I would love to have my house looking spotless at any given moment. It’s actually possible if I plant my children on the couch in front of the tv and don’t let them play, talk, or even breathe for the entire day. I’m learning that an immaculate home is not worth making my girls miserable or robbing them of the joys of childhood. Like wet mittens and snowsuits dripping on the kitchen floor. 

I keep thinking today is Friday. I thought that Monday and Tuesday too. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Hey–if I owe you a free book for filling out the in-law survey and you didn’t get it yet (and you don’t go to Calvary in Bftn), please let me know! I didn’t mean to leave you out!

Happy Whatever-Day-It-Is!

18 thoughts on “good mom, bad mom

  1. angntug

    Yeah, I am such a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning and I have driven Tug and myself nuts just trying to keep up…I’ve realized that when I relax and “let the house go” I feel much better at the end of the day. I at least try and do a load or two of laundry a day to make sure it doesn’t pile too high…do I always get to folding and putting away? Absolutely not! But I’ve realized when I slow down and reevaluate why I’m upset sometimes, it is amounting to nothing…..and the girls  act 110% better when I give them the time they need and eye contact…..I seem to enjoy my day much better!

  2. bekisue

    This post is wonderful. It’s really cool that you are so open with us about stuff like this. I have tons of BMMs (Bad Mom Moments) too. It nice to hear it’s okay to not be perfect all the time.

    Lily is 19 months –to answer your question. And she’s all about the terrible two’s. I also babysit for my cousin M-F 630-430. Kendall is her name and she just turned one 12/29. Crazy place to be!

  3. tonialynn59

    Oh my I would hate to think of how many bad mom stories I could share from over 22 years of parenting.  I’m sure my kids would be happy to fill in the blanks!:)  I hate changing sheets, especially on bunks and laundry, oh my!  It is just a never-ending job!

  4. Nixter77

    Hey lovely marsy, I was wondering if you sent my copy yet, if not could you please send me one for my friend too – please let me know how is the best to pay, maybe I can do it through paypal?

  5. gsowell

    ^the shoe comment is hilarious. I should post a pic…seriously I just went to count. At this moment there are 12 complete pairs of shoes (all askance, of course) and 3 partial pairs (1 shoe only) by my door. They are a complete eye sore. I shove them in a closet when company is coming.

  6. Nixter77

    I can’t even help with the ‘what day is it?’ problem as we are on a different day to you, plus I have just flown in from England – I am not all that sure myself what day it is either. Oh well!

    nixie = thinks it’s Thursday in Oz and Wednesday in US 🙂

  7. jbnygaard

    AMEN! I needed to hear that we ALL have “bad mom” stories!

    So are your family shoes all lined up in a perfect row ALL the time? Or is that for first time visitors to see! 🙂 I always wonder how people get their shoes to stay in order by the door! Thanks for making me feel like I am ‘normal’. If there actually is a ‘normal’! 🙂 I’ve been TOTALLY stressing out about keeping a neat and tidy home, but I am SO mean to my kids because they ‘get in my way’ when I am cleaning. Not that I abuse them, but my fuse gets REAL short! I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels this way!

    Consider the extra money MY gift! Or apply it to someone who needs a book that you could ‘give’ to for FREE.

    My MOPS group is VERY interested in having you speak Monday, April 23rd. Would you be open to it? E-mail me and let me know. 😉

  8. ladymiss3739

    Thanks for being brave enough to share a “bad mom” story.  🙂  We’ve all got ’em!

    And, I applaud you b/c I only have one child and I still can’t keep up with things!  You’ve got three!  It seems like the minute I put one thing back in order, she has the next thing all pulled out again.   

  9. rachmckinney

    wow, thanks. i agree with ^ i have had a few bad mom moments lately, so this was good to know. always good to know someone else who’s been there/is there at the same time. as far as teh house goes, i think it is always an ongoing project…this is something i have annalyzed way too much lately! how nice about the gift you got.

  10. gsowell

    This post was day-brightening for so many reasons.

    A) I have had many bad mom moments lately.
    B) I am doing laundry today, and I thought of you. I was thinking, “Maybe we’re just abnormal. Marla has three girls, too, and I never hear her complain about laundry piled to the ceiling.” I’ve done 6 loads in the last 2 days. I have 3 more to go. I have enough detergent in the house for 1 more load. I needed to know that other people drown in it, too.
    C) I have been really working hard at keeping the house neater all the time, but sometimes, the kids make it look like kids live here. And that’s OK.

  11. bethelaine

    for three of my four years at college, i slept on the top bunk.  i think i changed my sheets about three times a year too…. max.  i know that’s somewhat disgusting, but it’s such a hassle!!

  12. ch1pch0p

    At least it wasn’t a cup (or a case) of yogurt, right?

    I think you should have a practice book signing with the girls to get yourself ready, kind of like your publisher signings with Livi (it’s Livi, right, or is it Ava?) That way, you won’t feel so stressed about the real thing.

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