Feb
17
Have you ever wondered how God decides which gender of kiddos to give us? I asked that question on twitter and facebook last week and got lots of interesting feedback.
Meet 3-year-old Asias (uh-SY-us), my cousin Camy’s adorable little boy, the one who triggered my curiosity. You’d have to ask Camy, but I think this picture might be one of a handful in existence that aren’t at least a little blurry. He’s a kid on the go, that boy.
I watched him (okay, Nina watched him) on Friday morning for a few hours, and as he tornadoed around the house, I thought, “Wow. I think my life might’ve been a little different if I’d had three boys instead of three girls.” Not that I didn’t know that already. It just kind of struck me at that moment.
I never would’ve thought I’d be a mom to all girls. I just assumed there’d be a boy or two (or six) in there somewhere. So how did God decide to give me all girls? (And please, let’s not turn this into a discussion on letting God determine the size of your family. I’m not averse to talking about it, but today I want to ponder gender.)
When I asked the question on facebook, my neighbor Allison said, “Before having kids I desperately wanted girls, but now I love the boys we have and kinda want the rest (should there be more) to be boys too.”
Joy, a friend from college, said, “A former pastor’s wife once told me she believed God gave her all boys in part because as a young wife she was a terrible example of submission to a husband. She didn’t respect his leadership at all and she believes she would have taught daughters some terrible things about how wives are to relate to their husbands.”
My MIL, mom to two boys, said in response to Joy’s comment, “Sounds fitting to me!”
My cousin Katherine said, “My guess as to why I have two girls then three boys is because I need 2 girls to handle my WILD boys.”
Lots of other moms chimed in, but the comment that gave me goosebumps came from Andrea, a friend of mine from high school. She said, “I often wonder why I got two boys and not a boy and a girl. I LOVE my boys but often wonder if I can be truly happy and not want to try again in hopes for that girl. Praying God gives me that answer in due time.”
Then she read the comments others had already left. She immediately noticed that the first two commenters on my post had the last names of Marshall and Bennett. Nothing unusual about that, right? Not sure why she even took note of it.
Except that Andrea’s adorable little boys? Are named Marshall and Bennett. I. Kid. You. Not.
“I think God just gave me my answer,” she said.
I would have to wholeheartedly agree.
Speaking of the girlies God gave me, thanks for your suggestions (and prayers!) today (Tuesday). We went sledding, made Snow Cream, built a tent (to sleep in), played Dutch Blitz, fought a lot, ice skated in the kitchen… I even let them get out of their tent-bed to watch the rest of American Idol.
I’m not exactly sure why God gave me all girls, but I trust Him. And I’m glad He did. And I’m going to do my best to soak up every minute of being Livi, Ava and Nina’s mom.
So, why do you think God gave you the kiddos He gave you? And if you don’t have kids yet, what kind of kiddos do you envision running/dancing around your home someday?
p.s. If you haven’t already, you have to read this post by my friend Missy: I Don’t Want My Children To Be Happy.
Not only the gender, but the personalities and typical/non-typicalness lead me to surrender and depend upon Him. I was raised to be SO independent. God sure trimmed those dead wood branches in me as I had children. Love them. Wouldn’t trade them. But nothing has grown me more (sometimes painfully) than being the mother to a “non”typical boy and a “typical” girl. Great question, btw.
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have that planned for me, as much as I’ve begged, but I can tell you I’d be thrilled with either! My BILs family has all girls and their first is a girl, so they are pretty sure it just a family thing!
I think God gave me the kiddos he gave me because it was his divine purpose for them to be born! Regardless of my feelings about it!
I always wanted girls and didn’t care if I got a boy or not. But my first was a boy and – oh. I love all babies, but I love baby boys more. There. I said it. Baby boys just make me melt in a way that girls don’t. And the opposite is true for my husband.
Yet, we’re getting a baby girl from Ethiopia. Why? Again…God wants us to. And he da boss.
thank you sweet friend.
I read that post of Missy’s yesterday, and it was so good!
I’d always pictured having a girl first and was very surprised (but not really) that Brennan was a boy when he was born (we didn’t find out his gender during my pregnancy). It took me awhile to adjust to having a boy, when I’d envisioned a little girl for so long. But oh, I am sooo glad I have a little boy! And I’d take all boys they’re so wonderful!
One reason I’m sure God gave me a little boy was to give me no more excuses in how I related to my in-laws. What I sow, I will reap, and it crushes me to think that my future dil might respond to me in ways that I sometimes respond to my in laws. Crush me! I’ve genuinely prayed for my attitude to change and to love them better, for they are wonderful, and Brennan was an answer to that prayer to help me be a better dil.
Our only wish has been to have a healthy child and we will be absolutely smitten either way. Health is all that matters when push comes to shove and it honestly saddens me when people are upset or disappointed in whatever sex of child they get. Of course thank God not everyone has had the experience of dealing with infertility and losing precious little ones. In a way I’m becoming more thankful that we’ve had the battle we’ve had…. because we’ll always remember our journey and how hard we fought for either our son or daughter…therefore will be so extremely appreciative for our miracle child.
I can’t wait to see/meet the child God has planned for us.. we are still seriously kicking around the idea of not finding out the gender before birth. However, the verdict is still out on that one….
I also wanted to chime in on the “God wants you to be holy, not necessarily happy.” … our pastor says that a lot – as well as “God cares more about our character than our comfort.”
My oldest is a boy … and I think he is there because it is important in my family to “carry on the Hutch—- name”…I was sure he was a girl though!
I think I had a girl next because of my mom – she always would say, “YOU JUST WAIT until you have a girl like you …” and sure enough, I have a sweet but independent girl – like me.
When I had my 3rd – 9 years after my last baby (SURPRISE!!) – I wanted a BOY. Boys are easier & less hormonal & love their mommas & cost less for clothes – and I didn’t want another ME! But I got a girl – and I’m glad I did! At 8 weeks, she is mellow & easy-going – just like MY HUSBAND!
I have been blessed with two boys. To answer simply, it is as it should be. I praise God for them, and I know this is His perfect plan. Maybe someday we’ll have a girl. Maybe not. I’m okay with whatever the Lord wills. For right now, I want to be the best Mommy to my energetic busy boys that I can. God is certainly growing me because of these two. I’m very thankful.
I love my three girls like crazy, and I think we’re well-suited to parent girls, but maybe that’s because we’ve grown into parenting what God has given us. Nature vs. Nurture. Discuss amongst yourselves.
I have thanked God often (OFTEN) in the recent days for giving me a husband who is so well suited to fathering girls. He deals with their drama with more patience and grace than I can ever muster. He is the perfect distract-er and redirect-er for them. I’ve learned a lot about girls from watching this incredible man.