for the record…

I do not have a hard life. So for those of you who are offended by my incessant complaining of late, I apologize. No, no one has made any comments of that nature. In fact, everyone has been quite generous–sharing how they’ve been encouraged and so on. Maybe I am the only one who is offended. Yes, I am offended by myself. Annoyed with myself. Tired of myself.

There is most definitely a time and place to share one’s struggles so as to help other people feel they are not alone. Blushing Bride hopefully did (is doing) that, and I hope any and all books to come will do the same. HOWEVER, there is also a time and place to suck it up, stop whining, be grateful for what I’ve been given, and adopt a cheerful attitude in spite of what might happen in any given day.

Has anyone picked up on the amusement park theme here? ( i.e., the roller coaster that is my life) Actually, it’s not my life that’s the roller coaster–just my emotions (hormones, mood, whatever). Speaking of  rides, quick side note: At the zoo yesterday, a little girl (maybe 10 years old) was yelling at her mom, “Mama, quick! Gimme that token! I wanna ride that ferris wheel! Hurry! It gettin’ ready to go! Come on, Mama!” It was a carousel.

ANYWAY, for the past 30 years, I have been moody. A ferris wheel of emotional ups and downs if you will. Never knowing where the ride will stop. No more. I’m turning over a new leaf. An even-keeled, easy-going leaf. Raise your hand if you believe me…

So, off the subject, I took Nina to the doctor today for her 6-month check-up. Aren’t well-baby visits fun? You get to sit there (if you have a nice doctor) and listen to a professional ooh and ahh over your baby. I find myself in the midst of a paradox of sorts. Eating up the compliments yet I get soooooo annoyed by mothers who think that their babies are somehow superior to all the other babies in the world just because they rolled over first or got a tooth first or are in the 99th percentile for weight or height… So, the nurse weighs Nina. 19 pounds 13 ounces. So far, so good. I feel that percentile pride start to kick in. You know, where you’re proud of your breast milk and how chubby it has made your baby (soooo annoying in other women because I obviously have it in me too) Then she measures her. 26 inches. Not good. She didn’t even stretch her leg out. I’m just positive she’s longer than that. She’s got to be. The nurse leaves. I find the tape measure and a pen. Measure her myself. Yeah, I took Math for elementary teachers. 29 inches. Doctor comes in, and reads her chart. “97th percentile for weight. 57th percentile for height.” Trying not to sound like the kind of mother that annoys me (yet unable to help it) I ask if maybe she could re-measure her. 29.75 inches. AHA! Off the chart. I felt a quick surge of pride. Then I just felt like a total loser. Someone asked me the other day if I was going to write a parenting book someday. NEVER. I am a loser.

Had to apologize 20 times to Ava tonight. In a fit of rage over the mess in her bedroom, I threatened to throw away one of her new birthday toys. I love it when I am able to model the art of asking for forgiveness to my children. It has been happening almost every day lately. New leaf. New leaf. New leaf.

Waaay off the subject–Hoffmom commented on my last blog that her brother was in my class in elementary school but that I probably don’t remember her. Not so, Hoffmom! Of course I remember you! I even remember when you worked at that bank in Indiana when Gabe was going to Grace. I remember everybody! Seriously. And it’s funny, because I always assume people don’t remember me.

Last thing–promise. (I think.) Livi has lost 3 teeth. She also has 3 loose teeth. Well, now it’s 4 and 2. She pulls one out this morning. Blood everywhere. Runs upstairs to the bathroom to rinse out her mouth. Starts screaming bloody murder. What in the world could have happened? Did she put it back in her mouth and swallow it? Is she bleeding to death? Fly up the stairs. It went down the drain. She had tried to wash it off, and dropped it. Got under the sink to see if I could remove a pipe or something. Not a chance. 100 year old house. 100 year old sink. She reminded me of the Higglytown Heroes episode where Twinkle drops her tooth down the drain and they send for the plumber. I try to explain that, unlike those Higglytown people, we don’t love our children enough to spend $200 to retrieve a lost tooth. 🙂 She called Tooth Daddy at work who told her she would get double money tonight since she lost her tooth twice.

World’s Longest Blog–finished.

14 thoughts on “for the record…

  1. the_present_is_eternity

    hi! thanks so much for the comment you left me. my summer is going really well, althoug it has been very tiring lately. i read that you’re really busy too! i hope that your move and gabe’s new job and everything turns out alright–but i am sure that it will. as far as the religion entry goes, i dont know. i am very confused. (not much a surprise there, for me at least) but Steve, my boyfriend, he doesn’t really belong to a church either. and we we talking about trying to find one that we both like, maybe this fall at college. i guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens though. it might not, he’s graduating this december. but we’ll see! thank you as well for keeping me in your prayers, i really appreciate that. 🙂 i hope that the stress in your life starts to fade away soon too. feel free to stop by my site any time . . .any time that you have time at least 🙂 have a great day! take care, love, amanda

  2. ch1pch0p

    The five adults in that picture are the original Edlunds (my sisters and mom) with their two daughters. I also have a SIL named Julie and her daughter Gianna. She’s been around at least 12 years, so I pretty much consider her a full-blown Edlund (and hey, she even has the name unlike my two married sisters)!

  3. SuperScuzzy

    Great entry!  I love reading your entries, and appreciate your dedication to, not only writing on your own blog, but also commenting on others as well.  It’s very encouraging to read what others are going through (good or bad) and how God uses circumstances in our lives to mold us.  I’m always impressed with how transparent you are.  Which, by the way, thanks for the compliments on my hair.  You were way too generous!  Anyway, I know what you mean about height measurements.  Thomas’ last well baby check-up was interesting.  The doctor looked at his length, and said, “Hmmmm.  I don’t think that’s right.  I’ll ask the nurse to re-measure him.”  She never did, so I’m stuck wondering how tall he is compared to other kids his age.  Like it really matters!  But, I do want to know.  I just didn’t have the guts to make an issue of it at the time.  At his 12 month check-up I’ll be sure to find out!

  4. faithchick

    thank you for your blog today & also for inspiring everyone else’s responses! It couldn’t have come on a better day! Let’s just say that the child I babysit=my current biggest struggle in patience & Christ-likeness.

  5. biblestorebrowser

    Marla, your whole BLOG is about [not parenting, but] motherhood! Don’t discount how God may be preparing you for such a thing. (The blog is a ministry in itself!) There is a definite need. Just look at the responses you get here. Before we become mothers there are just some frustrations and disappointments most of us would not otherwise face. We need other moms to come along and say, “You’re not alone. I’m right there, too. Let’s see what encouragement we can gain from the Bible and each other.”
    Love you!

  6. ch1pch0p

    Love it. The whole thing. Every word that I just read.

    I’m working on that new leaf thing, too, or so I tell myself. No pity party, right? Kevin and I had a very long talk about that last night. There was one point where I was sure he’d picked up your book and read it because he used some of the same words. Or maybe that’s God working doubly hard to get it through my thick head.

    I don’t like roller coasters — of any kind.

    Good job on getting her height correct. That would bother me a lot.

  7. CourtneyMarieP

    I feel myself on the brink of disgustingness.  OK, past the brink.  I’ve rode that ferris wheel and it’s stopped at the bottom waiting for me to jump off. 

    I had to choose to laugh instead of flip out today when Chloe finished brushing her teeth and wanted to rinse and spit… then stuck her head under the faucet to wash her hair (like she’s seen someone else do)!!!

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve promised the “new leaf” and then not followed through.  Let’s hold each other accountable.  Wanna?

  8. rachmckinney

    your blog was inspiring to me this morning, as i woke up feeling grumpy and i am still feeling grumpy, the smallest t hings irritating me. i could use all the excuses in the book, nad i have tried telling myself those things, but i know the heart of it is: i need to get over it and move on with my day. my kids are watching me, picking up on those little things. i have been one of those roller coasters the last few days and it is getting old. new leaf:good idea. it is way easier said t han done, though! i will put you in my prayers today and hope your day is a good one. look back on your blessing page…i should make one myself. good idea for a blog today, if you don’t mind my using it! it’s so good to know that other women are experienceing the same sort of emotions, though in differentn waves, probably. and you know, i really think God appreciates our honesty. that’s the first part in turning over a new leaf, don’t you think?
    have a good day… you’ll be in my prayers.
    ps, your book Blushing Bride did inspire me very much, so thank you!(now i am telling all of my friends about it)

  9. KmHunsberger

    I am amazed by your ability to publicly announce your “new leaf turning.” I am terrified to announce any real desires to change becuase I am afraid of failing and of letting people down…even my own husband. But there is so much accountability and humility involved in publicly announcing things such as this. You are an inspiration…maybe I can do a little better in this area too.

    I hate rollercoasters (not real ones, but the ones involved in living). I wish so badly that I did not have to be so up and down, emotionally and spiritually. I would love for God to help me to overcome this plague, but to some extent I think it is part of the human condition that we have to war against while on this earth. But I still hate it. I yearn for consistency, even keeledness (nice spelling, huh!). So I guess I am in your boat…and I too yearn to change.

  10. hcole86

    Just realised it was night time (and Nix beat me by a minute with her first comment!), so I will pray you get a good (early) night’s sleep.

  11. hcole86

    I know what you mean. Sometimes it can just feel like all we do is complain. Even though we might be justified, even though the circumstances allow it, even though we need support – the more we do it, the more we don’t like ourselves. It’s a vicious circle. To never complain, well, you may as well tell us you’re God and we’ll be done with it.

    There are times when complaining can keep us sane. But there are times when complaining stops spiritual growth for you and others. I believe you just exhibited the former 🙂  

    Sounds like you need to take a break to just be with yourself and God. If I lived near you I would offer to come and look after the girls. I still offer, but it’s not very practical. Maybe rent a video for your daughters, put Nina in for a nap, make yourself a cup of tea, take your bible with you into the sun and pray, breathing very very deeply.

    Sounds like you just need to re-energise yourself.

    Hope you get a break!

  12. Nixter77

    I love the world’s longest blog and just cracked up and you re-measuring Nina when the nurse went out.  Good job you did too, she missed 3.75 inches, that’s heaps when you are a wee one…

    Anyhoo, I am jumping on the ‘New Leaf’ band wagon with you.  All Aboard!!!  Thanks for the encouragement and laughs of your posts 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *