broken femur, busted ribs

Don’t worry! Everything’s okay! I’m not really a jet-ski accident victim–I just play one on TV. Okay, not TV so much, but I did play one today.

Seriously. We went straight from church to Gabe’s parents’ cabin on the river. Rock and Janelle had volunteered to help the local EMT with a water rescue drill. Then Rock decided to volunteer me instead of him, and I thought, “Sure! Why not? I could use a little more excitement in my life!”

Too bad we decided to make this a camera-free day, because pics of me on a back board with a neck brace being lowered into a boat would have been fun.

Here was the scenario. (Remember–this was a drill. All the victims were acting.) A jet ski collided with a pontoon boat, injuring a couple people on board the boat. Then the jet ski (man driving, woman passenger) lost control and ran into a dock, throwing the woman (me) up onto the dock.

Poor me. I broke my left leg and some of my ribs. I’m sure it must have hurt something fierce, but all I could think was, “Man, it is HOT lying facedown on this dock for 20 minutes just waiting for the EMT to arrive.” Thankfully, I “landed” on a soft, green beach towel. Otherwise, my skin would’ve melted against the blazing dock.

Since I (mostly) firmly believe in doing my most absolute best no matter what it is I’m doing, I gave my role my all. I moaned. I made stuff up. I told them exactly how I had flown off the jet ski and landed on the dock (then we chuckled, since my description defied nearly every law of nature).

I told them I had not been drinking (true) and that the man on the jet ski was not my husband (true) but some man I just met on the river (true). I winced in pain when they touched my broken femur. I breathed raspily and complained of my chest hurting with each intake of air. I sweated like a horse. I stayed completely still while the EMT held me in a headlock (there’s some name for it) for 20 more minutes waiting for the rescue boat.

And I laughed a lot, because, well, it was really hard not to.

My case was so severe they had to life flight me to the hospital. Well, they would have if it didn’t cost $8000.

As they were lowering me into the boat on the backboard, I saw my life flash before my eyes. It didn’t help that they were discussing what would happen if they dropped me in the water. “She won’t be able to breathe or roll over since she’s strapped in.” Gulp. And wouldn’t you know it–they actually did drop me. But I landed in the boat. And it was only about a 4-inch drop. I just slipped when they were almost done.  But still.

Janelle was driving the boat, and she did a fabulous job. Some mothers-in-law might have taken the opportunity to knock their impertinent daughter-in-law overboard, but my MIL loves me.

We didn’t get home until 11 p.m. and I should probably take a shower since I reek. But Gabe and I made a deal. Neither of us will shower, and then neither of us will care. And our girlies stumbled into bed (well, I carried sleeping Nina) completely filthy and nasty. Nina’s face is black and orange (dirt and Doritos). And their feet! Oh well.

After all the rescue drama, we had a marvelous day. Rock and Janelle just bought a pontoon boat off of a local guy, and all 12 of us (Rock, Janelle, Tug, Angie, Morgan, Reese, Tanner, and the five of us) can fit on it at once! Well, Rock and Tug opted for the motorboat instead. We laughed and talked and sat and ate (I heart grilled food!) all day long. I love, love, love the slooooow pace and simple pleasures of life at the cabin on a river with family.

Now, it’s back to business. Thankfully, I love this part of my life too.

Have a great week, everybody!

11 thoughts on “broken femur, busted ribs

  1. Crissy

    What is a role if you cannot give it your all! Love this, and video would have been too fun. I have a MIL that loves me too! Priceless!

  2. janelle taviano

    I wish they could of heard the ” LIVE AUDIO “….lol – someone would have contracted you for $20,000 – to go to 52 EMT rescue sites all over the U.S. – we too had a blast….tired, dirty…. and filled. Thanx again for bringing the food ! seriously !

  3. Nadia

    Oh my, Marla! I was skimming your post and seriously thought that all of this had happened to you! I had to go back and read CAREFULLY to find that you were fine! Was really worried there for a sec… sounds like a pretty interesting day! : ) Glad you are okay! : )

  4. Stephanie your sister

    The phrase “slow pace and simple pleasures” gives me the best goosebumps and cozies all over.

    And now you can have a sheet-washing party later on this week! Or tomorrow. Or never. 🙂

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