The fear-of-failure part of me is super-hesitant to write a blog post saying, “Hey! We’re leaving the last year-and-a-half in the dust and moving into something awesome God has for us! Turning the page, starting fresh, hyped-up and ready to rock-&-roll!! Let’s DO THIS THANG!!!”
Because what if it doesn’t really happen? What if there’s some residual anxiety and/or piling-up of bills or Gabe and I aren’t on the same page or we try something and it doesn’t work out, or God forbid, there’s another heart attack or something comparably awful? What if, what if, what if?
The HELL with what if.
God is so good. Just so, so good. And he’s BEEN good, even when things were so, so hard. And they aren’t exactly the easiest they’ve ever been even now, but oh sweet mercy, there are shining rays of hope and light ALL OVER THE PLACE.
First of all, the girls earned all the $ they needed to go to camp in July! I’m so proud of them for working so hard and selling stuff they didn’t need. And so thankful to everyone who hired them and/or bought their treasures (and some of mine too). They’re SO excited to go, and Nina has a whole itinerary of stuff planned for me and her while they’re away (and she’s paying!!).
Second of all, Gabe woke up a few days ago with an announcement. 100% completely out of the blue. “I’m going to get a job.” This is a whole ‘nother post, but holy wow. He had to quit his job last March due to his panic/anxiety, and while he’s been self-employed in the past, this time it has been just so hard. For months, he wasn’t even able to work much. Then the debt hole was so big, it was just so hard to climb out (and yada yada yada).
On the surface, this would seem to go against my big dream of traveling the world/being a missionary in Cambodia/living a life of global nomad-ness. HOWEVER. It doesn’t at all. More on that later.
And Gabe’s desire to get us out of debt and his initiative in deciding to get a job and his confidence that he’s healthy enough to do it?
The hugest answer to prayer in the universe.
And we had some talks this weekend that have me floating on whatever Cloud is just above nine. Holy cow. Trying to contain the giddy. Asking God to calm my heart and set my mind on the tasks in front of me.
And there are so many of them.
Everything just seems to be coming together and making sense, and it’s been a long, long time since I’ve felt this way. God is giving me lots of ideas for using what I’m good at (mostly writing and also purging) and leveraging them to get us to where he wants us (and where we want to be).
AND I found out about some secret icing on the proverbial cake. Seems my husband e-mailed an online friend of mine a few weeks (months?) ago and asked her to help arrange for us to meet. She lives all the way in TX but she’ll be speaking in Peoria, IL in August, and a few girlfriends and I are going to take a little road trip and squeeze her neck. So excited!!
And there you have it.
Anything exciting going on with you?