Feb
20
Something tells me that when Bon Jovi belted out, “I want to lay you dooowwwwwn on a bed of roses!” he wasn’t talking to his wife. Maybe he was. I shouldn’t assume.
But in my experience, marriage is no bed of roses. And, believe me, I have experience. Over a decade (11 years, 1 month, 17 days) of marriage under my belt and years upon years of marriage counseling. (Okay, so I’m no marriage counselor. I just play one in my books.)
But, seriously, what’s with the lame cliche? A bed of roses?? Really? The phrase is figurative-speak for a pleasant or easy situation. Or a state of great comfort or luxury. Depending on who you ask. I don’t get it. Of course, I’ve never had anyone lay me down on a bed of roses. Maybe it would be super-comfy. But for our purposes here, I think we’ll use a more commonly-understood figure of speech.
Like, marriage is no free day at the spa while Grandma watches the kiddos. Or, marriage is no book advance big enough to pay off both your mortgage and your husband’s school bill. Or at the very least, marriage is no bed of rose petals minus the stems and thorns. I’ll keep working on that.
The point I’m driving at (in a 15 mph zone apparently) is that I’m passionate about marriage. Even more than encouraging moms that they can do this motherhood thing, I love talking to women about making their marriages the best they can be.
Please hear me–I am not saying my marriage is perfect. Oh. My. Word. No. (just go ask Gabe) In fact, as much as I hate to admit it, there are times when I get so caught up in your marriages (e-mailing, blogging, writing, speaking) that I neglect my own. Bad move, Marla.
On Wednesday night, I spoke to six sweet gals and their beloveds (all engaged or seriously considering it). It was such a neat time. I had their complete attention (because I was talking about sex), and I went scriptless, because I’d been praying my heart out that God would give me the words. He did. I was struck by something as I talked–what an awesome privilege to be able to speak into the lives of these young men and women before they say I do. I love encouraging women who are already married, but so many times I hear, “I wish I would’ve heard this years ago, before I got married.”
I love that I have a resource I can give gals before they walk down the aisle. It’s called From Blushing Bride to Wedded Wife, and in my completely biased opinion, it’s a light, fun, but very helpful read. Even if you’ve been married for years. The sad thing is that it went out of print because I didn’t tell anybody about it. (I barely even knew about blogging back then) A newbie writer mistake I’m trying not to repeat, but there are no guarantees. And it’s a balancing act–getting the word out about something you think could really help others and not being overbearingly obnoxious about promoting your own stuff.
Many of you know that I bought out the publisher’s stock and am now the proud owner of nearly 2,000 copies of the book. Egads. We paid for them in full, but we’re still reeling. There’s been talk of re-releasing the book in the future with a new cover and title, but at the moment, I’m more concerned about finding a home for the 1,981 books o’ertaking my closet and basement.
Here’s the scoop: several pastors I know give the book to brides-to-be during their pre-marital counseling. I love that idea. So, if you think your pastor (or pastor’s wife or anyone else you know who does pre-marital counseling) might be interested in looking at the book, I’d love to send them a free copy. Then, if they’re interested in purchasing 5 or 10 or 1,050 more, I can give them a dirt-cheap deal. Just e-mail me a contact name and an address, and I’ll get it in the mail as funds allow. If you want to give them a heads-up that the book is coming, that would be great. And if you’re feeling extra benevolent and want to donate $3 for postage, wow, that’d be stellar. Let me know, and I’ll tell you how you can donate it via paypal.
And I’d imagine that at least 50% of you already own the book, but I’m going to give 2 copies away today. Just leave me a comment saying either 1.) I’d like the book (feel free to mix up the wording to suit your personal taste). or 2.) I’ve read the book, and this is what I liked about it: __________ or 3.) I have exciting plans for my Friday night, and they are as follows: _____________
And the book is just $6 (including shipping) on my website right now, so if you have $6 lying around that you’ve been trying to get rid of, well, there you go.
And if you’re not married and this post bored you to tears, but you still somehow persevered to the bloody end, bless you! Come back tomorrow. Swirly Saturday will not disappoint. (and the Chick-fil-A gift card winner will be announced!)
Have a great weekend, friends!
I would love to win a copy! Thank you so much and God Bless you for all you do.
My friend I was telling you about who has been trying to get pregnant for 3-4 years – who you put on the list to pray for – is PREGNANT! Praise the Lord – we need to add her as a ‘prayed for gal’ who has now got pregnant. Please keep praying for her as she is 7 1/2 weeks only! Thanks lovely! I also wanted to order a few of your Expecting Books – where is the best place for me to do that?
Love ya and chat soon. My little man says HI!
We’ve been happily married for 7 years. We are big advocates of marriage and good marriage counseling. (We go see our counselor once or twice a year “whether we need it our not.”)
Just in case I don’t win, I just ordered all your books on-line. Can’t wait!
My marriage can always use a God boost and it sounds like this book would be perfect for that!
Thank you.
THANK YOU! Yes – I got your book!! I’m excited to read it!!!! Will you send me your address – i have a thank you to send you!!!!!
I own your book, I adore it!
I own all your books, except expecting because well, I’m not and most of my pregnant friends are due anytime. Anyways, I digress… I enjoy your honesty and to know that I am not the only one who doesn’t have a perfect marriage (I know, shocker right?). I am glad I know you! Just thought you should know that!
I would love this book!
And I’ll send you the contact information for one of our pastors ….
Marla…..
I’m new to your blog and can tell that I’m already hooked. You will be on my must read blog list daily. I’ve been married 23 years, but would love to have a copy of your book to read and save for my daughter who’s in college now. There will be a time she will need it in the future. Plus, I’m now getting in that stage of life where my friends’ children are starting to get married and it would be a wonderful addition to include in wedding gifts.
I’d love to win a copy of the book because even though I’ve been married shy of 5 years, I think we can always learn new things about married life!
I would love a copy of the book!
Here are my exciting Friday night plans: The gas went out at camp, so our weekend group got cancelled. So Hubby will be home tonight- yay! But we have no heat or hot water. So we’re going to be rounding up some kerosene heaters & warming up leftovers in the microwave.
I would love 2 copies because:
1) I will be married 14 years next month and although I NEVER feel like it was a mistake I believe it has a lot of room for improvement.
2) I need the other copy for my nephew who is dating a delightful young lady and I believe the are seriously thinking about their future together and it would be a big help to them.
Thanks
Hi Marla,
How bout Dylan’s “Lay Lady Lay” what were they thinking? I am a NM fan of your blog and think you are a creative, authentic, out of the box and “so stinkin’ funny” writer! Though I am a few years older, and just a stage ahead of you in life, I know we’d be friends if we lived in the same city. Is there such a thing as an e-kindred spirit?
I have served in ministry for 25 years, with Young Life, church youth, young adults, and currently in Women’s ministry. My husband and I are about to step in with Marriage Mentors as well. I would love to read a copy of your book so that I could promote it to the various places of ministry with which we are connected.
Keep it up, you have much to offer!
Kathleen
PS Here is a dream date for the weekend…a bike ride or hike depending on the weather, take out from our fave restaurant, then coffee and dessert at home. We are in our 19th year of marriage and have more fun and laugh harder today than ever before!
would like to look at a copy..we , hubs and I do premarital counseling and love the idea of your book.
prhttp://unforcedrthymsofgrace.blogspot.com/
I’d love to win your book! I am just celebrating 15 years of marriage to a wonderful guy that I probably don’t deserve after I had been married 13 years to a guy that I know I didn’t deserve.LOL We have seven daughters and a daughter-in-law- on the way. After I read it I could pass it along, or get them their own copies, since you might have some in stock. Thanks!
I’d love to win one of your books. Love your blog and I bet your books are even better!
I’d love to have a copy of our book! I can use all the help I can get with my marriage. I also would like to share it with my step-daughter who just got married in November. Thanks
i’m almost finished with the book and i LOVE it! i do wish that i had read it a little over a year ago when i was getting married. i want to give my future sis in law a copy of it for sure!
Hi Marla!
I would love your book! First off…every marriage needs a checkup, and why not do it from the POV of those happy newlyweds from so long ago?
2nd…my hubby and I are stepping out and co-leading a marriage small group and also preparing to begin pre-marital mentoring so we can use all the resources we can get!
Not yet a bride (or even an almost bride), but would LOVE a copy! You know, to get extra prepared.