Something tells me that when Bon Jovi belted out, “I want to lay you dooowwwwwn on a bed of roses!” he wasn’t talking to his wife. Maybe he was. I shouldn’t assume.
But in my experience, marriage is no bed of roses. And, believe me, I have experience. Over a decade (11 years, 1 month, 17 days) of marriage under my belt and years upon years of marriage counseling. (Okay, so I’m no marriage counselor. I just play one in my books.)
But, seriously, what’s with the lame cliche? A bed of roses?? Really? The phrase is figurative-speak for a pleasant or easy situation. Or a state of great comfort or luxury. Depending on who you ask. I don’t get it. Of course, I’ve never had anyone lay me down on a bed of roses. Maybe it would be super-comfy. But for our purposes here, I think we’ll use a more commonly-understood figure of speech.
Like, marriage is no free day at the spa while Grandma watches the kiddos. Or, marriage is no book advance big enough to pay off both your mortgage and your husband’s school bill. Or at the very least, marriage is no bed of rose petals minus the stems and thorns. I’ll keep working on that.
The point I’m driving at (in a 15 mph zone apparently) is that I’m passionate about marriage. Even more than encouraging moms that they can do this motherhood thing, I love talking to women about making their marriages the best they can be.
Please hear me–I am not saying my marriage is perfect. Oh. My. Word. No. (just go ask Gabe) In fact, as much as I hate to admit it, there are times when I get so caught up in your marriages (e-mailing, blogging, writing, speaking) that I neglect my own. Bad move, Marla.
On Wednesday night, I spoke to six sweet gals and their beloveds (all engaged or seriously considering it). It was such a neat time. I had their complete attention (because I was talking about sex), and I went scriptless, because I’d been praying my heart out that God would give me the words. He did. I was struck by something as I talked–what an awesome privilege to be able to speak into the lives of these young men and women before they say I do. I love encouraging women who are already married, but so many times I hear, “I wish I would’ve heard this years ago, before I got married.”
I love that I have a resource I can give gals before they walk down the aisle. It’s called From Blushing Bride to Wedded Wife, and in my completely biased opinion, it’s a light, fun, but very helpful read. Even if you’ve been married for years. The sad thing is that it went out of print because I didn’t tell anybody about it. (I barely even knew about blogging back then) A newbie writer mistake I’m trying not to repeat, but there are no guarantees. And it’s a balancing act–getting the word out about something you think could really help others and not being overbearingly obnoxious about promoting your own stuff.
Many of you know that I bought out the publisher’s stock and am now the proud owner of nearly 2,000 copies of the book. Egads. We paid for them in full, but we’re still reeling. There’s been talk of re-releasing the book in the future with a new cover and title, but at the moment, I’m more concerned about finding a home for the 1,981 books o’ertaking my closet and basement.
Here’s the scoop: several pastors I know give the book to brides-to-be during their pre-marital counseling. I love that idea. So, if you think your pastor (or pastor’s wife or anyone else you know who does pre-marital counseling) might be interested in looking at the book, I’d love to send them a free copy. Then, if they’re interested in purchasing 5 or 10 or 1,050 more, I can give them a dirt-cheap deal. Just e-mail me a contact name and an address, and I’ll get it in the mail as funds allow. If you want to give them a heads-up that the book is coming, that would be great. And if you’re feeling extra benevolent and want to donate $3 for postage, wow, that’d be stellar. Let me know, and I’ll tell you how you can donate it via paypal.
And I’d imagine that at least 50% of you already own the book, but I’m going to give 2 copies away today. Just leave me a comment saying either 1.) I’d like the book (feel free to mix up the wording to suit your personal taste). or 2.) I’ve read the book, and this is what I liked about it: __________ or 3.) I have exciting plans for my Friday night, and they are as follows: _____________
And the book is just $6 (including shipping) on my website right now, so if you have $6 lying around that you’ve been trying to get rid of, well, there you go.
And if you’re not married and this post bored you to tears, but you still somehow persevered to the bloody end, bless you! Come back tomorrow. Swirly Saturday will not disappoint. (and the Chick-fil-A gift card winner will be announced!)
Have a great weekend, friends!