the swirl on steroids

I’ve got a lot of stuff weighing on my mind and heart. More so than usual. Like I feel literally sick to my stomach over it.

And I can’t bring myself to blog about it yet, because… Okay, scratch that. I don’t think God is giving me the go-ahead to blog about it until my heart is right.

In fact, my heart is pretty mucky and yucky right now. And while I’d love to claim that it’s all just a bunch of righteous anger, I know better. Yes, it might partially be that, but the bulk of it is my own sinfulness.

I really don’t mean to leave you in the lurch. And while I’m not going to hash it all out right now, I can tell you what it’s about. It’s nothing new. And nothing I haven’t blogged about before. It’s just one of those hot topics that brings people out of the woodwork and into the boxing ring. I’ll give you a hint: it’s closely related to this post (which I loved and many of you expressed to me–on facebook mainly–that you most definitely did not love at all).

And the stinky, fleshly side of me is sooooooo tempted to put up a wall between those who see things one way and those who see things the right way. 😉 But I know that’s wrong. And I need to find a way to love everyone (it’s just not coming easily right now).

I want to throw Scripture in people’s faces and stomp around and throw tantrums and gossip about people whose philosophies of life I don’t like and give people the silent treatment and expect people to do everything just the way I do it.

So.

I’m going to keep begging God to clean up my heart. Then maybe we can have a civil, dignified, God-honoring discussion about all of this.

Have a nice weekend.

10 thoughts on “the swirl on steroids

  1. missy @ it's almost naptime

    Why do we hate it so much when people disagree with us? I get the sick feeling too. Ugh. I hate it.

    Wanna know what’s fun Marla? Try this: Write a post about Mormons, mention that believing in lots of gods disqualifies them as Christians, and then wait for the comments from Christians telling you that you are being ‘mean’ to other Christians…who believe in multiple gods…you know, those multiple-god-believing-Christians. Have pepto bismol on standby, you’ll be needing it.

    For the record, if no one on the planet agreed with my husband, he could care less. So jealous.

  2. Pingback: Marla Taviano » how can we give like no one else?

  3. Peggy

    Thank you for your honesty. It is so where I am at right now. I needed your words and reminder/encouragement to take my own heart to God. Sigh… remembering that it is God who began this good work in me and others and He is faithful to complete it.

  4. Melissa

    Since you read my ebook {and wrote the foreward} I think you know we agree on this issue and it makes me physically sick at times too. But, just like you are being wise enough to do right now, I have to take my righteous indignation to God because it is not my place to be the Holy Spirit for others…even when it’s hard not to be. I look forward to hearing your thoughts!!

  5. ali

    I just noticed on your sidebar that I’m listed under RL Friends as Blessed Ali. I don’t know why that makes me smile so much, but it does.

    Praying for your heart and discernment. I’ve been on a bloggy roller coaster this week, and it’s been such a comfort to have you riding along with me. You are such a good friend. I can never thank you enough.

  6. Rachelle

    I loved the article too. However, I am currently laying flat on the ground after being knocked off my very high self-righteous horse so…I’m keeping quiet about most everything right now. But know that I love you and your great big heart.

  7. Joy @ Joy In This Journey

    Oh I get this. So well. Sometimes it makes me physically sick too. I have to remind myself that God will take care of it in His way — and it might be that He changes my heart, their hearts, or both. But it’s really sucky waiting.

  8. Cheryl Pickett

    Know that while you/we need to love everyone, we don’t have to agree with or please everyone. There are times when you stand up for what you believe, and if some don’t like it, it really is okay.

    Sometimes people will be turned off, turned away from your particular message. No one has followers that agree with everything they say, and there is no leader that everyone likes. That’s part of being a leader.

    If they turn away from you, does that mean you’ve failed in reaching them for God’s greater message. I don’t believe so, if what you say is said from service and love as best you can do it as a human being. Not everyone is meant to be led or changed by you. Maybe they’re my people or your sister’s people or your husband’s people to lead.

    Jesus’ messages were not all unicorns and rainbows and he often made very strong points. The clearer you are about what you stand for, the easier it is for people to understand and connect. If you’re all over the place, trying to be this or that for everyone, it’s often harder to latch on.

    You’re such a wonderful leader of many fellow brothers & sisters in Christ on so many topics. I am sure you’ll hit your stride with this issue as well.

  9. Claudia

    It’s OK, Marla. God works through those gut wrenching struggles deep within and gives us peace and confidence through Him. Looking forward to the discussion that will follow! 😉

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