the pride/humility tightrope

Just when I think I’m conquering several forms of pride in my life, just when I think I’m focusing on God and others more than myself, just when…

I tell myself that nothing matters except God’s call on my life and what He has to say about me. But then I let things bother me and bring me down. I got sales figures from my Blushing book today, and they went down over the past two months because stores are allowed to return their surpluses.

Then I get a sweet comment on my blog from someone I’ve never met who loves the book and can’t wait to share it with others. I get awesome comments and e-mails from people nearly every day. They always touch my heart and make me so grateful to God. And then I let numbers get me down. Why, oh why, can’t I just praise God for using me in any small way He chooses?

Why can’t I just fix my eyes on Jesus and let nothing else get to me but Him? Why do I feel like I have to produce to have worth? Why do I measure myself by someone’s standards other than God’s?

Why can’t I just enjoy the sunshine?

7 thoughts on “the pride/humility tightrope

  1. biblestorebrowser

    I sometimes find it hard on my website when I see the *one* small sale that I didn’t place myself. And almost NO comments because it seems no one ever reads either BSB or Xanga. But I try to rejoice in the few comments there have been–all good– and I keep praying for God to speak through me in hopes of reaching the right people at the right time with the right content that will ultimately glorify Him. That’s what it’s all about, right?

  2. jbnygaard

    Wow. I couldn’t relate anymore. I feel the same way about my photography. You aren’t the only one out there. I love what Krista had to say. She is so wise at her young age. (i’m not being sarcastic, even though i usually am. Not this time.)

  3. rachmckinney

    it’s so hard, isn’t it? our pastor did an awesome message on sunday. it was pretty heavy, but it was very good. he talked about spiritual maturity being a process. i have been thinking on the tings he said very much. maybe i’ll jot you a longer note to share some of his thoughts with you…itwas so good, so challenging, and so encouraging, too. anyway, marla, keep your head up. you are making a difference…no matter what those numbers may have shown. even a difference in one persons life is being used b yGod and you have made a difference for MANY people for His kingdom!

  4. YoGrandmaYo

         If you “had it all together,” then you wouldn’t be able to relate to the rest of us like you do.:)  I think one reason  people like your book is because you’re so real and transparent and honest, and people can relate to you, and that’s a good feeling.  There are plenty of books out there, written by people who SEEM to have it all together, but it’s very hard to relate to them.:)  I’ve been married for over 34 years, and I’m still learning, and your book has been a tremendous blessing to me!  I’ve already read it 3 times, and I think it’s about time to read it again!:)  I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!  Woops!  See – I have a problem with pride, too!:)

  5. Nixter77

    It is your birthday in Australia right now!!  Woo Hoot…  Happy Birthday – us here in Aussie are so ahead of you guys in the US 😉

    Have a great day 😉

  6. kkakwright

    Sometimes, in my personal life, I think it is important to remember what Job said….. ” God gave it to me, He has every right to take it away” (my paraphrase).  Not that we want God to take anything away and not that remembering what Job said makes it not hurt, but Job was right.  I’m sorry this happened.  Take it to God Marla, tell him how you feel.  He, and only He, can build you build you back up and show you how worthy you are in His eyes. 🙂

    Love ya girl! 

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