I can’t explain it really. I’m just…uncomfortable. Not physically. (well, actually, a little. i’ve been having dumb health issues when I’m supposed to be all better, but anyway.) I just feel emotionally, mentally, spiritually…unstable. Uneasy. Restless.
I suppose it could be the fact that it’s January, “the most depressing month of the year.” It’s cold, gloomy, we’ve been sick, I’ve fallen behind. I don’t know. I’m struggling to find the purpose in each day, the rich full meaning in my life. Of course I know that Jesus Christ is my reason for living and that earth is not my home. I’m just in a bit of a funk.
But enough of that.
Thank you so much for praying me through Thursday and Friday. I left my crying 7-year-old (and my other two) with Daddy and Grandma after the girlies got home from school Thurs. afternoon. I had everything I needed–books, notes, prizes, clothes, money, gatorade (the only drink that doesn’t leave a nasty taste in my mouth. can’t even drink water. or coke!), cough syrup, kleenexes, cds.
I walk out to Gabe’s car, and it begins to pour down rain. Not in my plans. It was awful. I took 670 through downtown C-bus, and even though it wasn’t even 4:00, there was a ton of traffic, and the rain was awful. I felt strangely calm, even though I couldn’t see. Just asked God to please get me through it safely. He did.
Stopped to get gas in Xenia. Thought I was under an overhang but got drenched. Put my sweatshirt hood up (good thing my hair is just a “go-with-it” style), got my shoes all soppy.
Got to Josh and Jess’s house. Lovingly greeted by my adorable niece and nephews. “Aunt Maaaaaarla!” It’s so nice to be loved. Hugged on them, ate some scrumpsh chicken and wild rice soup Jess made for supper, brushed my teeth, fixed my make-up, got dressed, out the door in plenty of time.
Got lost in the rain. The church is 2 miles from their house. Anyway. Called Josh. He walked me through it over the phone. Got there in time. I was in such a fog. Coughing, tired, felt like I was on autopilot.
Sara introduced me. I talked for 45 minutes or so. They listened raptly, laughed at all the right places. Sometimes I just felt like the words were just coming out. It went well over all. Got to meet some women, sign some books. A woman who had been married many, many years told me everything I said was “right on.” I like it when the mentor moms tell me I’m on the right track.
Back to Josh and Jess’s. Chatted with them until 10. Cough syrup with codeine. Slept on Anna’s trundle bed. Quite comfy. She hugged me good morning at 7:30. I got up at 8:15. Bagel and coffee. Shower, dressed, packed up my stuff.
I think the 2nd presentation went better. I wasn’t in such a fog. Everyone seemed more awake. It was good. Met women, signed books, packed up the car. Drove home in beautiful weather, so thankful it was over.
That’s it. Not too exciting, eh? Saturday was a lazy day. Went to church on Sunday. Felt like forever ago that we’d been.
Working on a plan to get completely out of debt. No school bill, car payments, nothing. Trying to eat cheap (but healthy–not easy). Excited about the book coming out in 45ish days. I’ll be e-mailing an e-card next month. If you could e-mail it to all your friends, that would be sweet.
Speaking at 3 MOPS groups in February. I really do enjoy it. I really am blessed. My daughters are growing up so fast. I want it to be Spring. I’m thankful for the people who have sacrificed their time, families, and lives for my freedom. I love to write. I’ve lost a bit of my spunk and humor these past 2 weeks. I’d like to get it back. I have too many thoughts right now. Lots to do. How can a family of 5 dirty dishes and laundry so fast and fill up the trash can so quickly. Amazing.
I want to know my Savior more this year.
I’m thankful for all of you. And sad that I haven’t gotten to visit many people in person lately. Let’s make spring plans! And this summer I want to get together with people ALL the time. Any takers?
Hugs to you on this snowy Monday!