EDIT: (12:47a.m.) Oooooh, I have to get to bed! But somebody just had a…. WOOOHOOOO!
Lest you think I’m the girl who stares a bad mood in the face, says a prayer and sprinkles happy dust, and voila! Instant joy-infusion! Lest you think THAT (which is a misleading untruth), please take a peek at the last few hours of my life.
No motivation. Mad that I don’t have a dishwasher. Ticked that I have to go to Livi’s Christmas/Kwanzaa/Hanukkah/Los Posados program at 7:00. Irritated that I thought I had a whole box of pasta and didn’t. Frustrated with my angelic 2-year-old who has been acting bratty (no nice way to say it) the past few days. Mad that I’m not done Christmas shopping. Bitter about some things. Tired of some other things. Crampy. Headache-y. Constipated-y. Sick and tired of Livi and Ava’s bickering. Disgusted with myself for loathing Christmas this year. Disappointed that I didn’t follow through with Advent stuff with the girls. Why can’t I focus on the true meaning of Christmas!? And on and on and blah and blah.
I read something this morning in Walt Wangerin’s Preparing for Jesus that totally convicted me. Yet I basically chose to ignore it the rest of the day.
Do we, who are busy preparing for Christmas, parties and presents and decorations and food and church programs–and visitors–do we prepare with equal fervor for the visitation of the Lord?
What sort of Advent is this imminent Advent for you? If you are consumed by one more Christmas (one mere Christmas among two thousand) your Advent is fleeting, time-bound and likely self-absorbed. Desperate preparations often indicate an anxiety about the opinions of others regarding ourselves. But if your participation in this temporal Advent truly signifies preparations for the final Advent, you are Christ-absorbed.
I’m self-absorbed right now. No nice way to say it. And it’s not as simple as snapping out of it. This one is more of a climb out of it. And I’m happy to report that I’m headed up. I lit some candles, stopped moping, did some writing, wrapped some presents. And I’m not going to fret about houseguests tomorrow and Friday, traveling Saturday and Monday and Thursday. And a hugungous trip to Florida in eight days that seems nigh impossible at the moment. But not fretting…
God, help me to be Christ-absorbed. Really, really truly.
And I know I’m 40 minutes early, but I’m going to go ahead and generate a random integer for the Expecting give-away. Be right back!
The winning # is 19! (rford05) Congratulations, Rachel! Just in time for you get to work on baby #2. Last year, Rachel’s daughter Anna was diagnosed with severe hydrocephalus at 20 weeks in utero. Doctors insisted they terminate the pregnancy. A healthy and beautiful Anna was born 19 weeks later. She still has hydrocephalus (is she 15 months old now, Rachel?), but there have been no signs of any problems (just an odd-shaped brain, Rachel says). I’m praying God calms your heart and blesses your womb again, friend!
As for the rest of you, a friendly reminder that you have 13 more days to pre-order Expecting at the $10 price. And I’ll be doing something cool in January. If you bought a copy, like it, and want to blog about it, I’ll give you (20 or so of you) a free copy to give away to one of your blog readers. Oh, so fun!
And this was totally going to be a short post. Drat. Last thing–I’d love to hear what you’re most looking forward to this Christmas season. Happy Last Thursday Before Christmas!