i’m a worm

Today has been a day like that day I wrote about last week. The crazy one with my children yelling and getting sick and what have you. I am not going into detail about today though, because I have misplaced my sense of humor. Perhaps because yesterday was just as bad as today. Probably worse. In other words, I am in a bad mood. I am letting my circumstances dictate my attitude. I am focusing on myself myself myself, and I cannot seem to snap out of it.

The last time this happened (it happens a lot) I spent some extra time praying and reading my Bible, and my attitude was much improved. The Bible is not magic, but it does say that if we seek God first, He’ll take care of everything else. So, yesterday I read my Bible for about 45 seconds. Today for about 20. Watched some TV, read part of a novel, yelled at the girls a lot, cleaned up baby throw-up about 56 times (oh wait, I wasn’t going to share details…).

ANYWAY, I am acting like a selfish, spoiled little brat, and I’m hoping that by typing it out for everyone to read, it will motivate me to clean up my act. I don’t like myself like this, and I’m mad at me for giving in to my bad mood. I would like to be a characteristically joyful person with the tiniest hints of grouchiness every now and again that are so small they can be squashed like bugs with a fly swatter. Lately I have been a grouchy person with only tiny hints of joy.

Satan is having a hey-day with me. God has given me life, love, and a boatload of other blessings, and I am letting Satan rule my roost. No more.

GROUCH BE GONE. I’m going to smile if it kills me.

God, unlike me, has a sense of humor. Nina, whom I had been holding on my lap since the 2nd paragraph, threw up all down my arm as I was writing “I’m going to smile if it kills me.”


16 thoughts on “i’m a worm

  1. Marketer319

    Hi Marla, we haven’t officially “met” but I filled out one of your surveys and I have started reading your blog thanks to Jess. 🙂  Just thought I’d introduce myself since we have lots of mutual friends.  Here’s hoping for a better day today!

  2. FindlayGirl

    Life is not always easy, but the rough patches make us more thankful for our blessings, don’t they? 🙂

    I’ll be praying for you and I hope your little girl feels better soon. Maybe you should take a walk. Leave the girls with your husband for a little while and get out of the house of a half hour to clear your mind. I know that walks do wonders for me when I’m stressed beyond belief. 🙂

  3. Nixter77

    Yep, me too..  Sorry to hear you had a bad day, I just wrote a blog on prayer and one verse that gave me great comfort was this:

    “What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the LORD our God is near us whenever we pray to him”  Deut 4:7

    You are not alone 😉 


  4. YoYoYoder

    Thanks for always commenting on my site and making me laugh! However, I was hoping that Kenia’s note was a little more thoughtful…I was thinking about what food I’m supposed to bring on Sunday–did you let me have the veggie tray cause that’s the only thing I can’t really mess up??!?!?? Just you wait. I’m gonna make some strawberry stuff sometime that’ll blow you away!

    I’ve been trying to clean out our apartment and find things to sell at the yardsale Cherith and I are (hopefully) having in August. It’s driving me crazy! I am so bad at deciding what I should keep and what I should throw away! (I want to throw everything away, but I know that’s not practical–or is it??)I want so badly to have a clean and organized apartment, but it just doesn’t seem possible!! I think I need to call “Clean Sweep” but I would never make it on the show because I’m not NEAR as bad as the pack rats they get! Have you ever seen it??

  5. mtaviano

    Thanks, Jess. I’ll order that stuff soon. Don’t worry about Matt and the survey–I was actually surprised to even get 8 surveys from guys. 🙂 I didn’t ask for their opinion at all for the other 2 books–now I know why. 🙂 My day is going better–thanks. Or at least I’m having a better attitude.

  6. faithchick

    soo………it’s been several hours….how are you holding up???
    only another 7ish hours to go, and it’ll be bedtime! (or at least around that time. ;-))

    also…matt wasn’t too into doing the survey & we were so busy with our extra child so that’s why you didn’t get one from him. 🙁 sorry. 🙁

    and i haven’t had a chance to get to the p.o. this past week…so you’re body scrub isn’t even on the way yet…but i’ll try to send it in the next few days. 🙂 it was cheap at the garage sale & it’s very light…so don’t worry about $.

    and re: orderinging…you can do it through my mom’s website, or you can just let me know.

  7. scottnjes

    Oh, you remind me too much of Bethany 🙂

    I do think i could have written this post a million times over. Will it be the best when we get to heaven and can quit thinking about our circumstances? I hope your day goes better and that your little sweet pea can hold her food in 🙂

  8. mtaviano

    ch1p–i think that pessimistic people are funnier, for whatever that’s worth. it can get annoying being around perpetually chipper people. 🙂 i’m still going to try to be more joyful!

  9. mtaviano

    Hey, Cowgirl! I was just reading your blog yesterday. LOVE the pics of you and your nephew (?) in the hats. I’ve always wanted to work in a bookstore.

  10. ch1pch0p

    Yikes. I hope your day improves.

    I also would like to be a typically happy person. I am not. I like to wallow in my bad moods whenever possible. Hmmm…

  11. cowgirlgowest

    Hey – we don’t know each other but I’m friends with Yoyo, Scuzzy, Maximus, etc… anyway, I thought of you the other day because I was shelving your book when I was working at B&N. 🙂 That’s all. 🙂

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