I’m fixin’ to draw a line here. My pen is poised, ready to roll, but I’m a smidge indecisive. Where do I put it? Here? Maybe here? Hmmm…not sure.
How do you know how much to share on these here blogs? With cyber-friends (and cyber-strangers) or even real-life friends and family? If I were to be gut-honest about how I’m feeling at the moment and what’s going on in my head and heart, it wouldn’t be pretty. And it sure as stink wouldn’t be edifying. And not very glorifying to God either. (or would it?)
We all want to know that other people are real. We want to know that we aren’t the only ones struggling. With life. With crappy attitudes. With sinful desires. With obscene selfishness. With our marriages and parenting.
BUT. We don’t want to be perpetual whiner-griper-stinky pants either. And while I don’t think that happy, carefree giddiness is a pre-requisite to loving Jesus, I do know that “the joy of the Lord” is to be “my strength.” And that I’m to “rejoice in the Lord always.”
Can I do that while I mope around, totally unmotivated and despairing of life? Here’s The (partial, edited version of the) Scoop:
1.) I have a sinus headache. My face is throbbing (I know, it’s killing you too). My jaw is throbbing. My teeth and gums are throbbing. I took some medicine, but it hasn’t kicked in all the way yet. I get one of these every night. It’s been, oh, I don’t know, two weeks now maybe. And now I’m starting to get them in the morning. And in the afternoon. And in the middle of the night. It eventually goes away with otc meds, but I’ve always been a “suck it up, who needs drugs?” kind of girl. Oh well.
2.) I’m completely unmotivated. To clean my house. To be disciplined about anything. To write. To promote books I’ve already written. To exercise. To organize my hideous desk. To embrace the spirit of Christmas. I’ll stop there before it gets ugly.
3.) There are some things weighing on my heart that I can’t share. Things that are kind of big. Things that are very uncomfortable. Burdens I can’t seem to shake.
4.) I’m having some time management issues. Ugh.
Anyway, that’s good for now, or you’ll be getting the completely unabridged version (with extra bonus features!) of The Scoop, and that was not my intention.
So, I have a favor to ask. If you could leave a comment and NOT do the “oh, poor Marla” thing, but instead share something that has encouraged you when you’re feeling down, that would be fab. And if it’s from God’s Word, all the better. In fact, I’m going up to my room right now with my Bible, and I’m going to ask God to speak to my heart. And I’m going to listen.
And lest you think I’m a better woman than you for doing so, I’ll be honest and tell you that what I really want to do is blog-surf or twitter or find new facebook friends or check out people.com to see which celebrities are pregnant/getting divorced/in trouble for saying something stupid.
Go to your room. Grab your Bible and go directly to your room. Do not stop to check your e-mail. Do not stop at the refrigerator. Do not even pick up the crayons lying all over the office floor. GO TO YOUR ROOM.
Okay, I get it. Pushy. (not you, just talking to myself…)
Good night, friends! Thanks for being there!