honesty = best policy?

I’m fixin’ to draw a line here. My pen is poised, ready to roll, but I’m a smidge indecisive. Where do I put it? Here? Maybe here? Hmmm…not sure.

How do you know how much to share on these here blogs? With cyber-friends (and cyber-strangers) or even real-life friends and family? If I were to be gut-honest about how I’m feeling at the moment and what’s going on in my head and heart, it wouldn’t be pretty. And it sure as stink wouldn’t be edifying. And not very glorifying to God either. (or would it?)

We all want to know that other people are real. We want to know that we aren’t the only ones struggling. With life. With crappy attitudes. With sinful desires. With obscene selfishness. With our marriages and parenting.

BUT. We don’t want to be perpetual whiner-griper-stinky pants either. And while I don’t think that happy, carefree giddiness is a pre-requisite to loving Jesus, I do know that “the joy of the Lord” is to be “my strength.” And that I’m to “rejoice in the Lord always.”

Can I do that while I mope around, totally unmotivated and despairing of life? Here’s The (partial, edited version of the) Scoop: 

1.) I have a sinus headache. My face is throbbing (I know, it’s killing you too). My jaw is throbbing. My teeth and gums are throbbing. I took some medicine, but it hasn’t kicked in all the way yet. I get one of these every night. It’s been, oh, I don’t know, two weeks now maybe. And now I’m starting to get them in the morning. And in the afternoon. And in the middle of the night. It eventually goes away with otc meds, but I’ve always been a “suck it up, who needs drugs?” kind of girl. Oh well.

2.) I’m completely unmotivated. To clean my house. To be disciplined about anything. To write. To promote books I’ve already written. To exercise. To organize my hideous desk. To embrace the spirit of Christmas. I’ll stop there before it gets ugly.

3.) There are some things weighing on my heart that I can’t share. Things that are kind of big. Things that are very uncomfortable. Burdens I can’t seem to shake.

4.) I’m having some time management issues. Ugh.

Anyway, that’s good for now, or you’ll be getting the completely unabridged version (with extra bonus features!) of The Scoop, and that was not my intention.

So, I have a favor to ask. If you could leave a comment and NOT do the “oh, poor Marla” thing, but instead share something that has encouraged you when you’re feeling down, that would be fab. And if it’s from God’s Word, all the better. In fact, I’m going up to my room right now with my Bible, and I’m going to ask God to speak to my heart. And I’m going to listen.

And lest you think I’m a better woman than you for doing so, I’ll be honest and tell you that what I really want to do is blog-surf or twitter or find new facebook friends or check out people.com to see which celebrities are pregnant/getting divorced/in trouble for saying something stupid.

Go to your room. Grab your Bible and go directly to your room. Do not stop to check your e-mail. Do not stop at the refrigerator. Do not even pick up the crayons lying all over the office floor. GO TO YOUR ROOM.

Okay, I get it. Pushy. (not you, just talking to myself…)

Good night, friends! Thanks for being there!

16 thoughts on “honesty = best policy?

  1. FidelicharisHouse

    As you can tell, I’m rather way behind…but I appreciate your writing this.  I could have written much of it (just trade out sinus infection for skin itching going berzerk again and I could copy & paste)…and honestly still feeling paralyzed with all that’s swirling about me…and truly not even knowing where to begin.  But.  Dragging myself into the presence of God…even without having a constent place from which to start.  Praise His Name and His Faithfulness!

    With thankgiving and continued prayer for you,

    And noticing the above link, I can vouch for Melissa (GracenGlory75)  She’s married to a guy with whom I went to BBC.

  2. luvmynoah

    I could have typed your post up myself and hit submit.  I can relate…I wouldn’t be so great at giving you advice right now.  I need to follow your last words of going to my room and reading from God’s word.  I already read that you are feeling better today!  Praise God for that! 

  3. mrsnorthern8605

    Aw I want to hug you right now. I struggle to on whether or not to be TOTALLY honest, but some days, I need to be because I REALLY REALLY need the encouragement and I feel I can’t get the right kind if I am not 100% real. That is a rarity, though…most of the time, I leave out certain things or choose not to say anything at all!

    One thing I have gotten in the habit of when I am feeling depressed is turning on worship music and get busy. I clean, cook, do a craft, ect. Also, I have a great tendency to go to LOLcats and just look at them because it is so funny.

    I hope you feel better! Hugs!

  4. Anonymous

    I get you, Marla. It so often feels to me like I’m standing on the edge of a slippery slope and once I start sliding it’s nearly impossible to stop until I hit the ugly bottom.

    My Audrey struggles with this often and I tell her a lot to choose to be glad, to fix her attitude, and a host of other unhelpful things. Because when I’m there, it’s only getting on my knees and crying out that helps. And that doesn’t always help–unless I stay right there on the floor for the remainder of the day.

    I do have to say, though, that music is one of the primary ways that God is the lifter of my head, as it says in Psalms. Praise music–loud praise music. It washes through the house, chasing away oppression. And as I sing along, my heart hears my voice praising and s l o w l y gets in line.

    As much as I hate to say it, so often it really is a choice. A HARD CHOICE. I wish it wasn’t, but there it is.

    Love you my friend and praying for God to lift your head and your heart this morning, to heal your body, to give you rest.


  5. scottnjes

    1. Humidifier and Antibiotics. Don’t put it off, it’ll only get worse. God likes drugs, you should too. Well, He likes purposeful drugs 😉 Get some sleep too.

    2. Remember how thankful I am to have all of this and how much my family loves it when I’m productive.

    3.  God already won.

    4. Make a list and rejoice when you get to cross one off!!

  6. jessyomama

    God was allowing me to rejoice in all the ways that HE has been having victory this week. (Instead of letting me focus on how well I’ve done, which, let’s face it, I can’t do that much.) Like the couple of really great times that I have been able to spiritually/emotionally/personally connect and bond with my kids this week. It shows that God Himself is having victory over sin, not only in my own life, but in the lives of my kids as He opens our hearts to each other. That shouldn’t happen, and I can’t make it happen, it’s just God. Same things in my marriage and in some relationships with others.

    Those times, when I don’t feel like God is working, it’s so encouraging to me when God shows me things that are objective and my emotions about life just don’t matter. God is still at work, no matter how I feel.

    p.s. Could you have a sinus infection? I’ve had tons of those things (and what you have definitely sounds like one), and you need an antibiotic, probably. Especially if you’ve had it for a few weeks.

  7. shannahhogue

    One thing is for sure…sinus headaches (especially recurring ones) can sap the joy out of anyone and any situation. When my body started rebelling against me in the last couple of months (and my attitude took a similar downward turn), I found this verse encouraging:

    Ps. 73:26 – My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

  8. tonialynn59

    I’m so there with you and right now, honestly I have nothing to share.  I’ll be back though.  I could have written #2 and #3 (minus the writing books and promoting books I’ve written! )  I’m going to read the verses people shared with you though.

  9. filledeparis

    Praying for you and me both, friend. I hear you on the time management struggles, and lack of motivation.
    An encouraging verse that I read recently:
    “So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you.”
    I Peter 4:19, NLT

  10. setapart1979

    I just prayed for each of your needs right now… here is some verses that have encouraged me lately.  May you find new peace, new strength, new motivation & new hope tomorrow as you press on.  You’ll be in my prayers.

    “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.: (Philippians 4:4-9)

    “Your mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens;
    Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
    Your righteousness is like the great mountains;
    Your judgments are a great deep;
    O LORD, You preserve man and beast.

    How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!
    Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
    They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house,
    And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.
    For with You is the fountain of life;
    In Your light we see light.”
    (Psalm 36:5-9)

    “In the multitude of my anxieties within me,Your comforts delight my soul.” (Psalm 94:19)
    “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
    (Romans 5:1-5)

    “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
    He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
    My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
    Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.
    (Psalm 62:5-8)

  11. jenniwren130

    Amen, sister! It’s encouraging to know I’m not the only one struggling with pretty much all of the above (except for the book promoting). The following verse comes to mind: “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you.” –Isaiah 26:3. Praying for peace for you!

  12. ergirl053

    It is funny- not in a haha way, but rather an ironic way, that you should post about being real and struggling. I have been mulling over a “raw” post that I want to write, all the while not wanting to be whiner girl with the depressing blog.
    I appreciate your openness and will be praying for Him to lift you up. (That is not a fluffy way of saying oh poor pitiful you!)
    The other day, when I was in some sort of funk, I got out my journal (which doesn’t get nearly enough pen time these days) and read it from the beginning. It was no substitution for the Word, but it gave me some good perspective of where I have been and where HE HAS BROUGHT ME- of past times when I have dug in my heels (or laid kicking and screaming on the floor like a toddler) and the things I learned through them. It was an incredible and tangible reminder of His grace.

  13. OkinawaAna

    John 14:27 — “Peace I leave with you.  My peace I give to you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Your heart must not be troubled or fearful…”  I know that I have to be reminded on a daily basis to see life from the eternal perspective of Christ and not from the temporal way I too often perceive it.  He gives us peace for our days here, peace in knowing Him, and peace in anticipating an eternity apart from these worldly things that consume us sometimes.  (Even when our own bad attitudes are the “worldly” things.  And I’m writing to myself when I type that out!)

    Praying for you.  (And for myself, as thinking on these things has heavily convicted me!)

  14. thebranums

    girl…all I can say is I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU struggling through negative feelings and frustrations. I have prayed and prayed and dug and dug and just need HIM…I was crying out in the car today begging Him to please help me and show me how to “heal” my spirit and to lift the burdens. Walking right beside you praying for YOU and with YOU!

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