choosing joy…here in just a minute

I’ve been sitting here for several minutes, left elbow on my desk, chin resting on my hand, wondering how to write a blog this morning without whining. I’m in a very whiny mood. I have absolutely no reason to be whiny and every reason to be joyful. Yet still, here I sit.

Bluh.

Gabe would like it if I would snap out of it. We spoke about 30 words to each other all night (nothing was wrong, we weren’t not speaking, I was just….who knows)

Me: (sitting down on steps, putting my head in my hands) I can’t do this anymore.
Gabe: You can’t do what anymore?
Me: Whatever it is that I do.

Yesterday just felt like headless chicken day (as most days seem to feel lately). I did spend some quality time outside with the girls after school. That felt good–physically, mentally, emotionally. The feeling didn’t linger once we were back inside though, and everything started looming over me again.

I’m so blessed. I know this. Lately, though, it doesn’t take much at all to make me forget that. I need to spend more time in God’s Word. That’s the only place I’m going to find perspective–the right perspective.

I fell asleep on the couch last night after I put the girls to bed. Slept from 8:30-9:30. Gabe woke me up I tried to do a few things on the computer. Laid my head down on my desk. Almost fell asleep. Decided to go to bed at 10. Left everything undone all over the place. That was a good decision. But now I have a lot to do.

Gabe got a promo kit in the mail yesterday for the movie Expelled. Have you heard of it? It comes out in April. It’s a documentary by Ben Stein on the case for creation basically. The trailer was amazing. Interview clips with scientists who have dared to suggest there might be a “designer” out there, and they’ve been criticized, ostracized, fired, banned from the science world. So crazy, so sad. I’ll definitely go see the movie. More on that later.

I’ve been working on the in-law book in bits and pieces. I know some of your situations have changed in the past 2 years, so I’ll be asking for updates. (if you know your situation has changed and want to give me a heads-up, that’s cool) If anyone has a funny/pathetic story to share about meeting your in-laws for the first time, I’d love to hear it. (comment or message me) I’ve got some good ones.

There will be a lot of name-changing in this book. If you say something positive, I’ll leave your name in. Negative or questionable–your name will changed or be left out entirely.

One of Gabe’s former co-workers is coming over at 1:00 today to pick my brain about writing. I don’t know that there’s much in my brain to pick right now–a whole lotta mush. Pick away though!

I know I had more to say (I did yesterday too and remembered five minutes later), but the mush thing is my reality at the moment.

I think I’ll post a Count-My-Blessings Blog later on today. Have a good one!

27 thoughts on “choosing joy…here in just a minute

  1. ergirl053

    I know none of you know me personally, but we (meaning Kylie and myself) will be passing through C-bus from Cedarville that day. Maybe we’ll stop by. Mind if we crash the party??

  2. jbnygaard

    Um…need to know why the kids were being mean one of your girls at the bus stop this morning!!!!!!!!!

    Can I invite myself to this “Xanga Party”?

  3. gtaviano

    Is this a different Gabe that you are referring to? Dropping the nursery off at this place to me would be a two-step process. Open the van doors, pile them all inside and go let them run into each other at the mall indoor playground. In case you haven’t read one my latest blog entries, I have no clue how you species of mothers do what you do. I plead guilty to being dumbfounded and only able to handle my own children AT THE MAX.

  4. kellycohan

    Ha ha, I have a funny (embarassing) story about my in-laws and my first date with my now husband… I don’t think any of our family members except Brit, his dad, and I know this story… until now. I’m already blushing.

    Brit was 15 and I was 16 when we went on our first date. Actually, I can’t say we went anywhere on our date, since we rented a movie and watched it in his parents’ basement. And I can’t say we really watched much of the movie, either. We pretty much made out the whole time. (Before you think I’m a complete tramp, please know that we’d been good friends for years.)

    At some point during the movie, Brit’s dad (who was working in his office in the basement) decided to get some coffee. Unfortunately, the path from his office to the coffeemaker was between the television we were supposedly watching and the sofa on which we were sitting. Did that stop Brit’s dad? Oh, no. He marched right between us and the tv… and we didn’t even notice. It wasn’t until he turned the light on in the bar area that we had any clue! I’m sure we shot apart at lightning speed, but I was (and still am)utterly mortified!

  5. beccajanern

    I know the quitting feeling all too well.  This is tough business: being a mommy, wife and godly woman.  Definitely not for the weak hearted.  Feast on the Word as much and as often as you can.

    BTW, I have some great in-law stories, the name changing kind. I’ll have to put them together for you.

  6. OkinawaAna

    I’m sorry that things haven’t been so great.  Some days are just like that!  🙁  Will be praying that it gets better and better!

    Oh, and the first time I met my father-in-law, Wes and I were eating lunch with his parents and his dad said, “Well, Jennifer, Sandi wants to be a grandmother soon.”  Wes is their only child, so…  

  7. gsowell

    ^That totally corresponds with our Spring Break and my plans! I was hoping to go hang with Marla on Monday, if it works out, then to my family for another day or two before returning home. No, we can’t go “together” unless we ride in one car and let Caroline drive the other…she’s the oldest. It would be soooo much more fun! You know between us we have 8 people. And we both have 7 passenger vans. Maybe we could sell a kid. Josie and Kain are cute. They might get the most money…^

  8. kkakwright

    okay, i am making my annual spring trip to ohio a little earlier this year.  the lady i babysit for is a school teacher and her spring break is april 7-11.  i was going to come up on monday some time.  maybe spend monday night, leave on tuesday afternoon or something.  i would really like to go on sunday but i have obligations sunday evening, but these obligations are switchable so who knows. 

    so…all that to say, i’m coming sunday or monday, don’t really know.  spending one night with marlavous and then heading up to my parents for the rest of the week. gail, we could totally caravan but unless you have a semi truck we can’t really go “together” 🙂 although, that would make the trip so much better, wouldn’t it? 

  9. gsowell

    Yeah, when are we coming? Are we still coming together? Are you going by yourself? Are you waiting until my kids are on Spring Break, or are you going in March? Details…

  10. kkakwright

    my in law situation has changed. 🙁
    you know what will make you more joyful?  if you put a countdown somewhere of how many days till i come.  now that would bring anybody joy! 😉

  11. kissabby

    I think yesterday was one of those days. I felt out of wack and crazy all day and then sad at night when we once again had another winter storm warning…. I am reading your book, I started yesterday afternoon and a little over half way done! I love it!
    Hope today is a better day for you!!

  12. luvmynoah

    I’ve had a day or ten like what you are having!  Cuddle up with your bible today.  It will help soo much! 

    I’ve got some good in-law stories…..I may e-mail one or two to you later! 

  13. gsowell

    Spiritual attack follows those who are working for God. My diagnosis? It’s spiritual warfare. Get dressed in the armor. Prayed for you. I know you’re obedient. This will pass. Just stand firm.

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