attitude is (just about) everything

I mentioned awhile ago that I had a sinus infection. And you darling, caring souls urged me to get my buns to the doctor and beg for anti-biotics. I decided to ignore you. Because, see, I don’t really have a doctor. And we don’t really have health insurance. And I would rather spend our $ on 2400 miles’ worth of gas than a visit to urgent care and a prescription.

And besides, my Target-brand sinus meds and ibuprofen are working out just fine thanks. Except they aren’t. And the pain is lengthening and strengthening. And ouch. And ouch, ouch, ouch.

So, I put Nina down for her nap today, gathered some stuff together, and headed out the door to Urgent Care, grumbling all the while. (Gabe’s here, in case you were wondering if Nina stays home alone much.)

I was in a very bad mood. I had a very stinky attitude. I had very good reasons. I was mad because:

1. We don’t have health insurance.
2. God won’t just take my sinus infection away.
3. I hate waiting. Especially in rooms designed solely for waiting.
4. I hate wasting Nina’s naptime on something I don’t want to do. At all.
5. I don’t want to spend my $.
6. Christmas is driving me nuts this year.

BUT before I even pulled out of the driveway, I did a 180 (figuratively speaking). I determined in my mind and heart that I was going to eradicate the stinkiness (effective immediately!) and be THANKFUL. And here’s why:

1. We have $ in our checking account.
2. None of us have had to step (or is it set?) foot in a doctor’s office since January.
3. There are people with big, big health problems.
4. I can use this time to pray for my pregnant peeps.
5. God is good.
6. God is very good.

I pulled into the parking lot and saw a bazillion people. I about climbed back in the van. Ventured inside. They must have all gone somewhere else in the building. There were only 2 other people in the waiting room.

And praise the Lord for:
1. It only cost $100. I thought it would be more.
2. The urgent care office is nice and clean and new. And I like it waaaay better than any doctor’s office I’ve been to. I might even look forward to returning in a couple years.
3. The nurse was super nice.
4. So was the doctor. And she told me she’d prescribe the cheapest antibiotic possible. She said it’s for UTIs but that it would work for sinus infections too. I choose to believe her.
5. $11.05. Score!
6. $3.99 saline spray at Kroger, and I’m all set.
7. I was in and out in 20 minutes.
8. My prescription was filled in 6.
9. I have a doctor’s note (embossed and everything) excusing me from work tomorrow. I’ll have to inform my family.

Praise the Lord!!

I took a print-out with me of all the comments you guys left on the Expecting post. And I only got through a few of them. I’ve prayed for them all briefly, but I want to spend more time on each one. One really jumped out at me, and I’d like to ask you to pray for her today too.

Carrie was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant when she found out her baby boy had died. She was induced and delivered him via c-section 30 hours later. She buried him November 13th. Just one month ago. “I hurt every moment of every day,” she wrote. “I’d just like the holidays to pass quickly.” Here’s a picture of Damien and his mommy. Breaks my heart. Please pray for Carrie today–and any time God brings her to mind.

These requests are weighing heavily on my heart, and I’m so thankful that when we offer them up to God, He takes the burden on Himself. And I’m honored that He allows us to have a part in it all.

Someone asked me if I still had the list of requests we did last year for people who were struggling with getting pregnant. I do. And I’ve considered sharing it again, just so we can see all the answered prayers. Isabelle Kate being one of them! But I want to be sensitive to those whose prayers are yet to be answered. Let me think about this for a bit.

EDIT (12:39am): Hey, I feel led to speak a few words of peace and comfort to you pregnant mamas who are battling fear. I know that hearing all these stories just makes it even worse. But think of it this way. I could ask everyone to share stories of friends and family who have died in car accidents. There would be tons. But it doesn’t mean you should be afraid to get in the car tomorrow. An overwhelming majority of expectant moms give birth to beautiful, healthy babies. Something going wrong is not the norm.

Pregnancy is one of the biggest tests of faith there is. We have no control. God is in complete control. Instead of that scaring us, let’s let it give us huge comfort. GOD IS IN CONTROL. And He loves you. And your sweet, sweet baby.

There’s still time to enter the drawing for Expecting. Blessings on your Hump Day!

12 thoughts on “attitude is (just about) everything

  1. der_lila_Stern

    So did you take the day off because you had a doctors note!?! 

    Thank you for sharing the prayer requests.  Especially Carrie.  I have an inkling of understanding for what she is going through.  I know with all of the prayers, God will help her. 

  2. hollydue

    SOOOO glad you got some help, some drugs and no waiting! I hope you will be up and on the mend soon, dear friend! You so do NOT want to go on that long trip and feel crummy. Do you all want to borrow the DVD player for the Christmas trip? Its totally okay with us! We may want to get some of the movies back for our kiddos during Christmas break…since they will be spending LOTS of time here at home with Mommy! Let’s plan to talk sometime Thursday or Friday. Love to you, friend!

  3. ihavenotin2do

    Thanks so much for the encouragement!!

    I hope you feel better and am so glad that it ended up being cheap! I admire your faith and determination to stand strong even when its easy to fall into negative traps!

  4. beautifulheritage

    Praying for Carrie…one of my good friends just lost a baby about halfway through her pregnancy, for the second time…life is just so hard.

    I hope you feel better soon!! Have you tried a Neti Pot? ;o)


  5. Anonymous

    Oh such good news about going to the Dr. My son has a sinus infection and while I was already sympathetic, your description about how bad you feel/felt made me have more compassion for him. The little toot won’t swallow medicine (any form) he knows how to spit it back out no matter how far back in his throat you get it…even blowing on his face won’t work. I’ve been frustrated with him for a good six months about all of the wasted meds. I grew up without health insurance–my dad was and is self-employed so we payed every cent for appointments and medicine so I can understand how frustrating it is to go to the Dr. and pay a ton. Glad this time wasn’t horrible!

  6. Oly16

    You are such a cool lady.  I checked out that link to Carrie’s site and it made me cry – not just eyes welling up, but really crying.  I can’t even fathom how she must feel.  Just prayed for her, and for you.  That your new book would touch many lives in ways you couldn’t even imagine (and I prayed for your nose too )

  7. Anonymous

    if that doctor’s note works on your family, let me know because i’ll be heading out this morning to get myself one of those! 🙂

    you’re so right about pregnancy being a step of faith. plus the added stress of knowing your body alone is providing the stability for your baby is a scary thought.

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