So, I’m reading through my “novel” for the first time, and my initial edits are going swimmingly.

“Why do you put ‘novel’ in quotation marks?” you ask. Good question! Because I’ve read enough real novels in my day to refrain from lumping my first stab at fiction in with the published novels that grace library and bookstore shelves around the globe.

The day an honest-to-goodness publisher pays me money for a work of fiction (a made-up story, as opposed to my other books which are true) will be the day I call myself a novelist.

Anyway.

I mentioned yesterday that one of the main themes of the “novel” is in-laws. Without giving too much away, there’s a part of the book where I explore a little dilemma I like to call What in the World Am I Supposed to Call My In-Laws?

Have you experienced this?

For whatever reason, I have always been very, very intrigued by the names people use to refer to their in-laws (both to their face and when speaking about them to others). And on a related note, how they arrived at their decision.

Do you call your husband’s parents Mom and Dad? Mr. and Mrs.? Richard and Becky? Hey you?

And what about your husband? What does he call your parents? And are both parties okay with it?

Quite a few years ago, I asked friends, family, blog readers, complete strangers to fill out an in-law survey. I asked the “What do you call them?” question, and the (extremely varied) answers had me rolling. Rolling.

(Speaking of those surveys, if you filled one out, chances are you’ll be making an anonymous cameo appearance in my “novel.” Oh, yes.)

And you didn’t ask, but I call Gabe’s parents Rock and Janelle (their first names). It was his mom’s idea. And everybody’s happy with it. And yes, Rock is his dad’s given name.

For the longest time, he didn’t really call mine anything. Then my brother-in-law, Stewart, came up with something brilliant that changed everyone’s lives forever. Bethany, don’t ruin it! It’ll be in the book!

So, tell me:

If you’re married, what do you call your in-laws? What does your husband call his? How does everybody feel about the arrangement?

If you’re not married, but hope to be someday, play pretend. Ideally, what would you call your in-laws? What would your hubby call your folks?

I’m dying to know. (and I just may throw some of your answers into my “novel” just for fun!)

p.s. Thank you SO much for your awesome responses to yesterday’s post! Y’all are the sweetest, most giving people EVER. I’ve boxed up a ton of Blushing Bride books, and I don’t want to stop. Let me know if you want some! Details here. I’ll talk more about all the giving opportunities next week! Have a wonderful weekend!

I’m gonna warn you from the get-go: I’ve got nothin’ tonight. Writer’s Block with a capital WB. I’m hoping I’ll warm up as I go.

So, you know how I participated in National Novel Writing Month (aka NaNoWriMo) this November? Well. I finished. Excuse me, I WON. (That’s the proper NaNo slang for getting to 50,000 words by midnight on November 30. Anybody can win.)

And you know what? It really wasn’t all that hard. And do you know what that statement says about me? My novel is probably a piece of trash. Because GOOD writing? Does not generally come so easy.

On second thought, it WAS hard. Here’s what I thought was hardest:

1. coming up with plot ideas and not resolving them instantly, no matter how hard I wanted to.

2. writing an average of 1,667 words a day, even when I didn’t feel like it.

3. writing a story from beginning to end (I have never, ever done this before).

4. not going back one single time to edit anything.

5. making it realistic but not boring.

I’m going to let the little booger sit for awhile. Then sometime in January, I might get it out, read it (I’ve never even read it!), edit and revise it, and then… I’m not dumb enough to think it’s something a publisher would want to look at. My sweet agent would probably raise her eyebrow at me if I even hinted at it. This thing was just me dipping my toes in fiction writing to see if it’s something I’d like to study/learn/pursue.

I’m not sure it is.

I’m definitely not a natural at it. The whole plot thing? Ack. Now, dialogue? That’s another thing altogether. People talking to each other? I’m all over that. If I could write a book that was 100% dialogue (or a book of letters!), I might give it a whirl.

If I were on stage accepting an award right now for “winning” NaNoWriMo, I’d have to thank my husband first. That dude got so into my book. He wanted to help me invent characters and plot twists. He gave me ideas and mapped out a time line. He even made a map of the world (one of my characters lives in Ohio and one in Cambodia–original, I know).

Speaking of original, most of my characters and plot were modeled after someone/some experience I’m familiar with. Apparently, I’m lacking in the imagination department. Because much of the story takes place in Cambodia–in an orphanage even–I’m thinking of ways I could use the “book” to help raise money for the missionary (love you, Jen!) and kiddos our church supports over there.

Gabe and I have tossed around the idea of making a website for the “book.” (And yes, I’m going to keep writing the word “book” in quotations.) Like, start in February and post a page of the book each day. And if you just can’t wait (ha!) a whole year to finish the book, you can make a donation to the Coins for Cambodia Fund, and I’ll send you the whole manuscript.

You like-a?

If you’ve ever considered writing a novel, I highly recommend NaNoWriMo as a great place to start. There’s no pressure. You can write 50,000 words of pure waste, and you still win. No one sees your novel. It doesn’t matter how awful it is. You just write and write and write. And worry about making it good later. Or never.

Can you see yourself writing a novel someday?

I can’t get Mistake Number Nine out of my head, so the NaNoWriMo post I had planned (where I brag about FINISHING A 50,000-WORD NOVEL IN A MONTH) will have to wait.

So, we know that bloggers who hope to get a lot of traffic need to develop a brand, a primary message, something consistent that readers keep coming back for. If Random is a brand, then I’m all over it. (Bless all of you dear hearts who commented yesterday that you just love my rambling and “Don’t ever, ever stop!”)

Here’s the quandary (man, I love that word): I have a job. That job is to write and sell books. The writing part? I’ve got it down. (did I mention that I just chonked out a 50,000 word novel in 29 days?)

Here’s how I used to picture an author’s job: Write book. Get book published. Sit back and watch book sell. Repeat. As it turns out, yeah. I was missing a huge slice of the Successful Author Pie.

Here’s what publishers are looking for: a person who can write (me! pick me! I can write!) AND has an enormous following of people who will all buy that person’s book once it hits the shelves (bummer). In other words, you need more than great writing to convince a publisher to take a chance on you. You need semi-celebrity status and/or a history of stellar book sales. I have neither (my sales have been “modest” or “mediocre,” depending on who you ask).

Ideally? I would blog to make friends. As an author? I’m supposed to amass fans. I’ll tell you what. Making connections and building genuine friendships is infinitely more rewarding than knowing a lot of people read my blog. Sure, it’s fun to be popular. But I’d rather be liked (and yes, there’s a difference).

Fans are fickle. Friends are loyal. Fans inflate your head. Friends inflate your heart. You can have thousands of fans and still be very lonely. Friends are there for you when you’re hurt or frustrated or need prayer (or a hug).

I would love to just be Marla The Person (Friend, Sister, Mentor) here on the blog. But Marla The Author is a big part of who I am too. I wish numbers didn’t have to matter. But in my line of work, they do. (The obvious solution? Each of you promise to buy 100 copies of my next book.) I guess what I don’t want to be is the Girl Who Pretends to be Your Friend So She Can Sell You Something. I want to be the Girl Who Wants to be Your Friend. Period.

I know God is in control of my career and all that entails. I also know that it’s my responsibility to use my gifts wisely and not let them go to waste. I don’t know, unfortunately, quite how all of that is supposed to look in my daily life and blog.

Do you have any brilliant ideas, friends? (500 words! Again! Kapow!)

Now, before my loyal friends (and mother) all rush to my defense, let me just say I agree with him. And no, Michael Hyatt didn’t actually call me a lousy blogger to my face (or otherwise). (And no, I’m not going to mention Monsieur Hyatt in every post from here to forevermore.)

Here’s the deal. Mr. H. wrote a post on Saturday entitled, “Do You Make These 10 Mistakes When You Blog?” Sadly, I’m guilty of roughly eight of them on a regular basis. Boo. And I’m re-posting his Mistakes List without permission, which is most likely Mistake #11, but I’ll write now and ask forgiveness tomorrow. Here’s Mr. Hyatt’s list (in bold type) followed by my comments.

Mistake #1: You don’t post enough. Well, bless my soul. I got this one right. I post just about every single weekday and sometimes on weekends. Score.

Mistake #2: You post too much. Well.

Mistake #3: Your post is too long. Yes. Guilty. Apparently, the goal is 500 words per post. I’ve already written 181, and I’m just getting started.

Mistake #4: You don’t invite engagement. The posts that invite the most engagement are those that are “controversial, transparent and open-ended.” I agree. And yet, I shy away from the controversial many times because I’m often still licking my wounds from the last time I dipped my toes in the pool of controversy.

Mistake #5: You don’t participate in the conversation. Mr. Hyatt does an amazing job of replying to the comments on his blog (right in the comments section). I do talk back but not a lot.

Mistake #6: You don’t make your content accessible. In other words, do you write in such a way that people can scan your content and items of interest will catch their attention? (subheads, bulleted lists, shorter paragraphs.) On rare occasions, I’ll nail this one. Like today.

Mistake #7: You don’t create catchy headlines. Not with any frequency.

Mistake #8: Your first paragraph is weak. Most days? Guilty.

Mistake #9: Your post is off-brand. What does this mean in plain English? Well, bloggers who are trying to build traffic (get more blog readers) are supposed to stick to a primary message. “Hobby bloggers” can get away with a little more random, but they’re not going to get tons of people coming back (except for friends and family). Herein lies my biggest quandary. (stay tuned later this week for an entire post devoted to Mistake Number Nine)

Mistake #10: Your post is about YOU. Gulp. Mr. Hyatt asserts that readers of this blog don’t care about Marla Taviano; they care about themselves. “What’s in this post for ME?” you ask. This one’s a biggie. Even if you’re someone who comes here because you know and love me, it’d still be nice to get something out of the blog, eh?

Please keep in mind that he’s talking specifically to bloggers who want to increase traffic to their site for one reason or another.

Which of these mistakes do you think is most important to avoid?

500 words on the nose! Rock on!

If you missed Part 1–self-publishing: profitable or pointless? check it out here.

And on a completely unrelated (but super important) note: Happy 33rd Birthday to my husband Gabe (aka GodsMac)! I love you!

Okay, now that we’ve got the mush out of the way, how about we jump back in to the self-publishing debate? Watch it. Sure, I’m ready to jump. Whatcha got for me today?

First things first, did you know Michael Hyatt retweeted your blog post yesterday? Oh, did he? I hadn’t noticed. That’s nice.

Oh, brother. So, let’s talk about agents. Do wanna-be writers really need one? I mean, they take 15% of your hard-earned profits. If you self-publish, you can bypass them altogether. Sounds good to me. Okay, again, much has already been written on the topic. Agent Rachelle, Writer Jody, and Publishing CEO Michael (and tons of others) have all written really good posts about this, so I’m just going to share my personal experience.

Long story short, I got my first two book deals without an agent (read my unorthodox story here). Hooked up with an agent for my next two. And signed on with The Most Fabulous Agent in the History of the World a couple months ago (and lest you think this is flattery, I’ve already wooed her and won, so there). Here’s what TMFAITHOTW (aka Rachelle) does for me: She takes what I’ve written and reads it through her Super Agent Filter. She knows immediately if my project stands a chance. She suggests ideas for improving my writing. She says things like, “This is too boring” or “This won’t work” or “Maybe try this…” She knows publishers. She knows the market. She knows good writing. And she doesn’t hand out empty compliments.

When I think of what my project WAS and what it IS NOW (and is still becoming) because of Rachelle’s wisdom and advice, I could weep.

Okay, okay, okay. But you just said you got your first two book deals without an agent. So…? Let’s do this book by book. Book #1–honestly, I handed the completed manuscript in to my editor, and he said it was amazingly clean and he made very, very little changes. Book #2–same deal, except for one thing. My editor (a different one) suggested that I needed to “soften my approach.” I was trying to get women to (make) love (to) their husbands, but I was being a little bit of a bully about it in places. Book #3–again, as is. Book #4–My agent made a couple minor changes in my proposal. Then my editor suggested some amazing ideas (I hadn’t written the book yet when I submitted the proposal) and the book turned into something fabulous.

Still not seeing the point of an agent… That was then. This is now. I’m ready to step things up to the next level. Publishing houses are going under. The ones who are thriving (or at least surviving) are cutting the number of books they publish each year. It’s harder than ever to get a book deal. And so on and so forth (and such as and such as).

Which brings me to another point…

Hey, I’m the one making the points here. Whose blog is this anyway? Anyway, Rachelle encourages me to do my absolute best. Honestly, most of the time I’m tempted to just write “good enough.” Like this blog for example. I’ll go back and proofread, but I don’t spend a lot of time revising and rewriting (hardly any time actually) and it shows. But a blog post doesn’t necessarily have to be your absolute best writing. A book should be.

I think most writing can be improved and improved and improved some more. Sure, eventually you have to call it a night and send the thing to the printer, but I think many times, we’re just too lazy/impatient to keep polishing our stuff until it shines. We want immediate gratification–seeing our name on a book before we put in the months (and probably years) of hard work. And as one commenter said yesterday, if you publish mediocre work, you’ve damaged your reputation. People won’t want to read your work again, even if it’s good.

So, you’re saying that everyone who chooses to self-publish is a lazy gun-jumper? I love how you put words in my fingers. N-O. That is not what I’m saying. I already talked about how I self-published a book (and I may do another one someday). And I mentioned my friend Tammy. And there’s also my friend Cheryl. Some things I want to write may never be picked up by a traditional publisher, but that doesn’t mean I don’ t know a lot of people who would be interested in reading them.

I think you’ve got to examine your motives. Do you have something to share that may benefit people now instead of waiting 10 years until it’s perfect and you find an agent to represent you? Or are you just impatient? If you’re a believer, it’s something to pray about faithfully until you feel God leading you in one direction or another.

This book publishing thing is not for the faint of heart.

Well, I could stay here all day, but this post is twice as long as a Thanksgiving Eve post should be. And it is your husband’s birthday, and you’ve barely mentioned him. He’s the one who suggested I write this post. He’s a little more networked and savvy than I’ll ever be.

Happy Thanksgiving from both of us! Me and Gabe? Or me and you?

I am you, you moron. Just ignore that man behind the curtain.