I often ask my online friends, “Do you remember how we first met?” because I have a memory that works in fits and starts. I’ve embarrassed myself on way too many occasions by forgetting something I ought not to have.

Anyway.

I distinctly remember the first interaction I had with Deborah. I was at a She Speaks conference in North Carolina with Gabe (well, he drove me to the conference and then made himself scarce at various NASCAR tracks and shops). This conference is where I met Sophie for the first (and only–boo!) time and Melanie (sort of, we didn’t really “meet”) for the first of three times.

Anyway. Deborah.

Gabe and I were in the hotel room, and I got all excited because a gal named Deborah had e-mailed me about ordering multiple copies of my books. I had just asked God to provide for our financial needs, and I saw this as part of his answer. I can’t remember the details perfectly, but I do know that Deborah told me she was single and was buying the books for a bunch of her married or soon-to-be-hitched friends.

Awhile later, she sent me an e-mail and said something to the effect of, “I read your Blushing Bride book and for the first time in my life, I feel perfectly content being single. Thank you for painting such a realistic picture of marriage. So many times, those of us who aren’t married imagine that marriage is nothing but amazing and dreamy and romantic. Thanks for showing me that’s not really true.”

In other words, thanks for bursting my bubble and scaring me from EVER EVER EVER getting married. Is it really going to be that AWFUL?!? Oh, the horror! (no, I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that).

Over the next three years, Deborah became such a huge encouragement to me in so many ways. For one thing, she kept on buying more and more books. The girl has a million friends. But more importantly, she would pray for me, ask me how I was doing, send little messages that blessed me like crazy.

And this past weekend? I got to meet Deborah in real life when I spoke at her church’s Women’s Retreat. (Please ignore my hair. I put it in a ponytail for my last speaking session, but when we took the pic the first time it looked like I was bald, so I took it out. Nice.)

She was even more wonderful and beautiful and awesome in person. I kid you not. This woman is a treasure. I didn’t get to talk to her before I started speaking (she and her friends were just the teensiest bit late), so I met her for the first time after I’d already gotten up in front of everyone. I paused for a big hug, and it was fabulous. We got to chat at the end, and she walked me out to my van.

After one of the sessions, a gal came up to me and introduced herself as Sharon, Deborah’s friend. “Deborah gave me your Changing the World One Diaper at a Time book before I got pregnant with my first,” she said. She now had two boys, ages 2 and baby. “I’ll be honest,” she said, “when Deborah asked me if I liked the book I told her that, actually, I thought it was kind of depressing.”

I grinned.

“I mean, I still wanted to have kids and everything, but… Maybe I should read it again now that I’m a mom. I’d probably like it a lot more.”

I told her that I understood. My Blushing book had scared Deborah away from marriage. My Diapers book scares not-yet-moms into using birth control. Deborah came over then and we all had a good laugh about it.

If you’ve read the books as a wife or mom, you probably “got” them. And you probably weren’t depressed so much as relieved that you weren’t the only one having a little bit of a rough time being married or having a baby.

But put yourself in a single gal’s shoes. Or someone who doesn’t have kids yet. A realistic picture of marriage and motherhood can be a frightening thing. That’s kind of why we don’t tell brides-to-be and expectant mamas the whole truth. We want them to actually tie the knot and bear young. Or more truthfully, we want them to suffer like we’ve suffered (kidding!).

I hope you know that I absolutely love being a wife and mama more than I could ever say. And I can’t thank God enough for blessing me with Gabe and my girlies, who make my “job” so much sweeter. They rock my world.

But I’m still gonna be real, even if it turns people off. So, I guess I should be marketing my book to my single friends. “Hey! You think you want a husband? Read this, why don’tcha?”

Have a great weekend, friends! Whatever stage of life you’re in, embrace it as best you can. I don’t mean you should settle. Just determine to be content, but take lots of big, scary, fun leaps of faith too. You won’t regret it.

I was reading my Bible and writing in my journal this morning when an idea popped into my head out of nowhere.

Scrabble magnets. That spell “TONIGHT.”

Here’s the deal. I was praying about a talk I was two hours away from giving at a local MOPS group on s-e-x. And every time I do this particular talk (and I’ve lost count, but 30? 40? who knows?), I give “homework.” They have to (well, it’s optional) write down one thing they’re going to do tonight, tomorrow, or within the week to improve intimacy with their husbands.

And I thought, “Wouldn’t it be cool if they had a little code thing going on with hubby? Like he wakes up in the morning, starts to open up the fridge for some milk, and sees T-O-N-I-G-H-T (that his wife discreetly put there the night before or earlier that a.m.) and instantly turns giddy just thinking about what’s going to happen 12 hours from now?”

So, I made six sets of magnets and decided to sell them for $1 (for the whole set). I thought if I set the price too high, no one would want them, and the whole point is to get women EXCITED ABOUT THEIR MARRIAGE BED.

Well. They went like HOTCAKES, and everyone was sad I didn’t have more.

And the s-e-x talk? Was every speaker’s dream. The gals were sweet and kind and laughed in all the right places. And laughed hard. And talked to me afterward about how God used my words to speak to their hearts. And I loved them. Thank you, Heritage MOPS. You rock.

People ask me if I have that talk recorded so they can listen to it. And the answer is no. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a very, very personal talk (that I just happen to be giving to 20-250 of my “closest” friends”). It’s for girls only, and besides, I just really don’t want it “out there” for anyone to listen to. I would love to come share with your group, but there will never be a CD or MP3.

I do have something for you though. If you want to join my new MOPS friends in working toward a more intimate relationship with your hubby, I have 3 more sets of T-O-N-I-G-H-T. I jacked up the price though–$3 + $2 shipping = $5. (all proceeds to Cambodia Fund) First 3 gals to e-mail me get the goods.

And because I’m dangerously low on the letter N and the letter H but have plenty of Y and E and S, I also have 6 sets of “Y-E-S” for sale for $1 + $2 shipping = $3. E-mail me. And YES is just a shorter way of saying TONIGHT. And NO, you should not use the N-O from your TONIGHT for the nights it’s not going to happen.

Anyway.

If you can think of a different word that means the same thing (and won’t make me blush), let me know.

And while we’re on the topic, I’ve told some of you and hinted at it on Facebook and Twitter (and maybe talked about it here a smidge?), but I’m working on a book similar to Is That All He Thinks About? but for G-U-Y-S. I’ve had lots of people (lots of them men) ask me if I was ever going to write a husband’s version of the book, and my thought was always, “Uh, guys don’t really read books, do they?”

But maybe they do. At any rate, I’m going to give it a whirl. Because 1.) I think it could be really, really cool (and helpful!). and 2.) I’ve got a mission trip to go on.

Questions for you:

1. If you’re married, does your husband ever read books?

2. Would he read a book about THAT?

p.s. Please keep praying for Joanne. They took her off the meds that were keeping her in a coma, and once they’re out of her system, the prayer is that she’ll wake up. Lots of potential bad news, but ONE VERY GOOD GOD.

Happy 38th Anniversary!! to two people who have modeled a godly marriage for me for as long as I can remember (and refused to stop kissing even when I thought it was ewwwwwww!).

I love you, Mom and Dad!

p.s. And I’m chuckling to myself right now, because Dad reads my blog posts from work (Honda Engineering North America–Marysville, OH), but his computer blocks photos, so all he’s going to see is a big white space up there. You’re kissing Mom through a brick wall, Dad. It’s super cute.

Feel free to leave anniversary wishes for the sappy couple!

Last year at this time I was wrapping up a day of being awful to my husband (not unsimilar to last week at about this time). Old habits die hard, eh?

This year Nina and I opted out of the loud noises and massive, unruly crowds, and Gabe took two cute dates to Red, White and Boom (which is where Gabe took this pic that made it into Pioneer Woman’s Photos of America line-up).

The Terrific Trio isn’t home yet, but I can tell you from Nina’s and my perspective that this arrangement worked out much better.

Here’s last year’s fiasco:

Tale of a Bratty Wife, Part 1

Tale of a Bratty Wife, Part 2

Tale of a Bratty Wife, Video Finale

Maybe 2011 will be Year of the Angel. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Happy Freedom Weekend!

p.s. We have 100% of our Cambodia support!! Praise the Lord!!

So first of all, GREAT JOB on the husband complimenting yesterday. Three cheers for you, you grateful wives, you! If you didn’t have the chance to chime in, it’s never too late. Or you can just go straight to your dude and tell HIM, not me.

Second of all, Date Night was short but sweet. A resounding success. Pei Wei for 2 (and we tried NEW things!!), Barnes & Noble with a gift card (where I skimmed through writing books, bought 2 adorable little journals for Cambodia, and Gabe surprised me with a 2-inch x 2-inch wooden blue “M.” Be still my heart), Chick-Fil-A for free milkshakes (thanks, Amanda!), Bed Bath and Beyond for neck pillows for the million-hour flight to Cambodia, and a 5-minute tour of Target.

Click here for an iPhone pic of me with pool hair, new glasses, modeling a plate of edamame.

And yes, Nicole, Gabe earned his 20 points later on (and then some). Oh my, I’m blushing.

So MK e-mailed me the Wife part of the test today, and I read through it at the pool this afternoon (the first time I’ve gone to the pool w/o swimming–will someone please tell my children that 70 degrees is NOT swimming weather?). I’m pleased to announce that I’m a stellar wife. (I actually probably would’ve made a better wife 75 years ago than I do today. Well, okay, maybe not.)

Here’s a smattering of some of the Demerits I DID NOT earn:

Puts stockings to soak in wash basin. Insists on driving the car when husband is along. Smokes in bed or has cigarette stained fingers. Talks too long on the phone. Walks around house in stocking feet. Seams in hose often crooked. Wears red nail polish. Shoulder straps hang over arms or slip is uneven and shows. Serves too much from tin cans or the delicatessen store. Doesn’t like children. Goes to bed with curlers in her hair or too much face cream.

I’m good, huh? (Never mind that I spend too much time on the internet, walk around the house in bare feet, my toenails are painted blue, and I serve too much from the freezer/Little Caesar’s.)

Here are some Demerits I DID earn:

Slow in coming to bed–delays till husband is almost asleep (not always, but definitely sometimes). Fails to sew on buttons or darn socks regularly (darn those socks). Tells family affairs to casual acquaintances (hello, Blog World!), too talkative. Often whining and complaining. Fails to wash top of milk bottle before opening it. Wears pajamas instead of nightgown.

Merits I DID earn (hooray for me!):

Can carry on and interesting conversation. Personally puts children to bed. Encourages thrift (panties from the thrift store, anyone?). Laughs at her husband’s jokes and his clowning. Ambitious for her family (52 zoos, anyone?), urges higher attainment. Has spunk–will defend her ideals and religion. Praises marriage before young women contemplating it. Reacts with pleasure and delight to marital congress (i.e., likes to have sex).

I don’t suppose it would do a whole lot of good to ask husbands to tell me one thing they love about their wives. Most guys only venture over here when Red Rover, Red Rover, Gabe sends them right over. But it’s worth a shot. Feel free to send your own hubby right over.

If you’re a married guy, tell me one thing you love about your wife.

And girls, prayer request for you. My cousin K is serving our country in the military, and he commented this week that a lot of young married guys in his platoon could use some prayer. A lot of their marriages aren’t surviving their deployments, and it’s breaking their hearts. Breaks my heart too. Please take a moment to pray for military marriages.

One final Cambodia sale tomorrow! I’ve got some really cute things to show you! Have a great night!

p.s. Here’s the full survey for wives, the full survey for husbands, and the blog where MK found the surveys, if you’re interested.