Happy 38th Anniversary!! to two people who have modeled a godly marriage for me for as long as I can remember (and refused to stop kissing even when I thought it was ewwwwwww!).

I love you, Mom and Dad!

p.s. And I’m chuckling to myself right now, because Dad reads my blog posts from work (Honda Engineering North America–Marysville, OH), but his computer blocks photos, so all he’s going to see is a big white space up there. You’re kissing Mom through a brick wall, Dad. It’s super cute.

Feel free to leave anniversary wishes for the sappy couple!

Last year at this time I was wrapping up a day of being awful to my husband (not unsimilar to last week at about this time). Old habits die hard, eh?

This year Nina and I opted out of the loud noises and massive, unruly crowds, and Gabe took two cute dates to Red, White and Boom (which is where Gabe took this pic that made it into Pioneer Woman’s Photos of America line-up).

The Terrific Trio isn’t home yet, but I can tell you from Nina’s and my perspective that this arrangement worked out much better.

Here’s last year’s fiasco:

Tale of a Bratty Wife, Part 1

Tale of a Bratty Wife, Part 2

Tale of a Bratty Wife, Video Finale

Maybe 2011 will be Year of the Angel. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Happy Freedom Weekend!

p.s. We have 100% of our Cambodia support!! Praise the Lord!!

So first of all, GREAT JOB on the husband complimenting yesterday. Three cheers for you, you grateful wives, you! If you didn’t have the chance to chime in, it’s never too late. Or you can just go straight to your dude and tell HIM, not me.

Second of all, Date Night was short but sweet. A resounding success. Pei Wei for 2 (and we tried NEW things!!), Barnes & Noble with a gift card (where I skimmed through writing books, bought 2 adorable little journals for Cambodia, and Gabe surprised me with a 2-inch x 2-inch wooden blue “M.” Be still my heart), Chick-Fil-A for free milkshakes (thanks, Amanda!), Bed Bath and Beyond for neck pillows for the million-hour flight to Cambodia, and a 5-minute tour of Target.

Click here for an iPhone pic of me with pool hair, new glasses, modeling a plate of edamame.

And yes, Nicole, Gabe earned his 20 points later on (and then some). Oh my, I’m blushing.

So MK e-mailed me the Wife part of the test today, and I read through it at the pool this afternoon (the first time I’ve gone to the pool w/o swimming–will someone please tell my children that 70 degrees is NOT swimming weather?). I’m pleased to announce that I’m a stellar wife. (I actually probably would’ve made a better wife 75 years ago than I do today. Well, okay, maybe not.)

Here’s a smattering of some of the Demerits I DID NOT earn:

Puts stockings to soak in wash basin. Insists on driving the car when husband is along. Smokes in bed or has cigarette stained fingers. Talks too long on the phone. Walks around house in stocking feet. Seams in hose often crooked. Wears red nail polish. Shoulder straps hang over arms or slip is uneven and shows. Serves too much from tin cans or the delicatessen store. Doesn’t like children. Goes to bed with curlers in her hair or too much face cream.

I’m good, huh? (Never mind that I spend too much time on the internet, walk around the house in bare feet, my toenails are painted blue, and I serve too much from the freezer/Little Caesar’s.)

Here are some Demerits I DID earn:

Slow in coming to bed–delays till husband is almost asleep (not always, but definitely sometimes). Fails to sew on buttons or darn socks regularly (darn those socks). Tells family affairs to casual acquaintances (hello, Blog World!), too talkative. Often whining and complaining. Fails to wash top of milk bottle before opening it. Wears pajamas instead of nightgown.

Merits I DID earn (hooray for me!):

Can carry on and interesting conversation. Personally puts children to bed. Encourages thrift (panties from the thrift store, anyone?). Laughs at her husband’s jokes and his clowning. Ambitious for her family (52 zoos, anyone?), urges higher attainment. Has spunk–will defend her ideals and religion. Praises marriage before young women contemplating it. Reacts with pleasure and delight to marital congress (i.e., likes to have sex).

I don’t suppose it would do a whole lot of good to ask husbands to tell me one thing they love about their wives. Most guys only venture over here when Red Rover, Red Rover, Gabe sends them right over. But it’s worth a shot. Feel free to send your own hubby right over.

If you’re a married guy, tell me one thing you love about your wife.

And girls, prayer request for you. My cousin K is serving our country in the military, and he commented this week that a lot of young married guys in his platoon could use some prayer. A lot of their marriages aren’t surviving their deployments, and it’s breaking their hearts. Breaks my heart too. Please take a moment to pray for military marriages.

One final Cambodia sale tomorrow! I’ve got some really cute things to show you! Have a great night!

p.s. Here’s the full survey for wives, the full survey for husbands, and the blog where MK found the surveys, if you’re interested.

I think something might be in the water, because women who haven’t been very sweet to their husbands lately are coming out of the woodwork. Kidding. I know we’ve all always been here. Sometimes we just hide our reality better than other times.

So, we were at Life Group Sunday night, sitting around a pool, taking turns updating the group on our lives. Besides my pal Jen who’s single and Dave (whose wife was at work and is so angelic I’m sure she’s never been mean to him), the general consensus was that marital bliss had been a little hard to come by in the month of June.

This, of course, was the day after the Mini-Van Fiasco of the World. And without dragging anyone’s name in the mud without her permission, I got the most comforting e-mail from the wife-half of the couple we hung out with on Saturday. While I was trying my hardest to cover up all the evidence of my cry-fest with a baby wipe, she and her husband were also coming off of a doozy of a fight (in which she was the primary offender).

Too bad we didn’t just put it all out on the table, but maybe it was better that we just fed giraffes and watched World Cup Soccer instead of conducting a day-long marital counseling session.

Well, then I went to Bible Study/Book Club Monday night, and our book happens to be about being a good wife and mother, so there was some more discussion. And more than one friend had read my blog and thanked me for making them feel normal. And I kind of wished we could all just be nice and wonderful, so that mean isn’t the new normal.

As part of our study, we had to give a list of 7 Wifely Virtues to our husbands and ask them which one they thought we could stand to work on the most. Ha! As we all recovered from their answers, my friend MK found this fun survey written by a Dr. George W. Crane (author, lecturer, educator, doctor of medicine, psychologist) in 1936 that we could fill out about our HUSBANDS.

Dr. Crane self-titled his survey, “The Blueprint to Happiness” and basically, it’s a big chart with 100 items in 2 columns. Your husband gets “merits” for each thing he does in the positive column and “demerits” for those he does in the negative one. Some are worth 1 point, some 5, some 10, and one very special one (Ardent lover–and goes on to give a quite, ahem, vivid description of what this entails) is worth 20 smackeroos.

Here are some things  your husband might be doing to earn himself some demerits (remember, this is from 1936): Stares at or flirts with other women while out with his wife. Publicly praises bachelor days. Fails to change socks often enough. Picks teeth, nose, or sucks on teeth in public. Objects to wife’s driving auto (Gabe!). Blames wife for everything that goes wrong. Talks of efficiency of his stenographer or other women. Smokes in bed. Writes on tablecloth with pencil. Argues or curses other motorists. Will not help wife’s relatives as much as his own. Opens his wife’s mail. Boasts about his former conquests. Kisses wife just after her make-up has been applied.

Snicker, snort. Your hubby is looking pretty good, isn’t he?

How about some positives? Points for your hubby if he:

Gives wife ample allowance or turns paycheck over to her. Leaves car for wife on days she may need it. Usually comes home with a smile. Good humored in the morning. Writes often and lovingly when away from home. Willing to go shopping with wife. Attends church or urges children to attend Sunday School. A fast and efficient worker, not the puttering sort. Well liked by men, courageous, not a sissy. Eats whatever is served without grumbling or criticism. Ardent lover (ahem). Gives wife real movie kisses, not dutiful peck on the cheek. Neatly hangs up his clothes on hooks or hangers.

Gabe and I have a Date Night tonight (it’s been for-ever). I’m prayerfully thinking of ways to honor and love him while we’re out, to make him feel special (and glad he married me). I know one thing–we won’t be discussing money or what will happen to our children if we die on the way to Cambodia.

I think we could go a looooooong way in our marriages, girls, if we focused on the good in our husbands and not the negative. Goodness knows my life would stink if Gabe just dwelled on my crap.

So, tell me: What’s one thing you love about your husband?

If you’re here from Adding Zest, welcome! Everybody else, head on over there for Part 1, or this post won’t make any sense (and you know how firm I am about making sense).

Okay, all caught up? Now, I’m just going to admit, right off the bat, something I know some of you were wondering about. Is the radio station I was listening to the same radio station my husband now works at? Yes it is. Then why, you’re wondering, why in the world didn’t I call him and get their phone number? Well, there’s a perfectly good explanation for that.

I didn’t think of it until it was too late.

Anyway.

While I’m admitting my shortcomings, I might as well go ahead and tell you that I usually have my posts up by midnight the night before, but I wrote the post for Adding Zest a few days ago and couldn’t remember what I’d written. And since I did remember saying that the conversation was going to be continued over here, I thought I’d better brush up on what the conversation was even about. But the Zest Post didn’t go live until sometime in the middle of the night, so here I am, trying to get my children to school, my husband to work, and an enlightening blog post published.

Which would explain why, when my husband asked me 20 seconds ago something breakfast-related, I might have maybe sighed really loud in exasperation and said, “Gabe, please! Can you just figure it out on your own? I’m trying to write a blog post here!” (About being kind to husbands.)

So, here’s the admission part: I’m really good at honoring my husband in public, around others. To my knowledge, it’s been awhile since I’ve bashed him to my girlfriends or on the radio or anything.

However, where I need the work is in my own home, to his face. Especially when I’m tired or grouchy or stressed. I take it out on him. And I let every little thing bother me. And I express my displeasure with eye rolls and deep sighs and sarcasm.

So, when I say I’m disgusted with Husband-Bashers? Maybe I should look at the plank in my own eye first.

So, am I the only one who struggles with being kind to my deserves-better husband? What can we do about this, girls?