So I googled “little violin” and “feeling sorry for myself” and there you have it: cue the violins.

Cue the violins: (according to “Elizabeth” on Yahoo Answers) The phrase is usually used when someone is over exaggerating and making a fuss about how bad some situation is and looking for sympathy. It comes from when there is a sad scene in a movie and sad violin music plays in the background.

There’s a reason I haven’t been blogging lately (or rather, a combination of reasons). 1.) I like my blog posts to be honest, but 2.) I don’t want to be a depressed, violin-cuing whiny-pants, and 3.) these past 2 weeks have not been very easy for me (or my family).

I crawled in bed at 3am last night (for reasons beyond my control) and woke up feeling defeated and ready to throw in the towel. I looked around at my house, haunted and taunted by the piles of things that need my immediate attention, and just wanted to cry. Or maybe cuss and yell.

I’m heading to the dentist’s office this afternoon for the 5th time in 8 days. There are people I’ve promised to see. There are things I need to write. Tax stuff I need to organize. A desk I can’t even see for all the papers. A huge pile of stuff we brought home from Cambodia in my bedroom. A homeschooler miles behind on her work. A kindergartner who suddenly doesn’t want to go to school anymore. A husband who doesn’t feel well. A cough I can’t shake.

But I’m not fighting for my life like Big Dave, a fellow C-bus’er who was shot in Haiti doing missions work last week. And I’m not “celebrating” the one-year anniversary of the stroke that almost ended my life and certainly turned it upside-down for good, like my friend Joanne. And so on and so on.

So, that’s where I’m at. Not asking for your pity. Not giving excuses. Just yeah.

Speaking of violins, though, Gabe and the girls and I had the MOST FUN Family Date Night on Saturday. We got free tickets to Winter Jam 2012, and everybody was SO excited, because SKILLET! This was Gabe’s 4th Skillet show, but the rest of us had never been (we’ve just jammed in the mini-van to their latest album a bajillion times). He’s gotten up close and personal with the band, even went out to eat with them once.

His favorite band member is Jonathan Chu, the stinking amazing violinist. They’ve had some good chats about photography and other stuff, and they keep in touch online. When Jonathan and his wife Bethany had their twin girls super early (a little over a year ago), and they were in a fight for their lives, we prayed and prayed for them. And I’m always surprised and delighted when Jonathan comments on something I’ve posted. He’s just such a sweet, caring, down-to-earth guy.

We didn’t have any backstage passes for Winter Jam, so there were no delusions of getting to meet Chu in person. Except when we walked in to the arena and sat down, he just happened to be down on the floor right in front of us. Gabe went down and said hi, and he came jogging up to our seats to meet us. We chatted for a bit, and I was blown away by his humility and awesomeness.

Gabe said something about just getting back from Cambodia, and he said, “Yeah, I’ve been following you guys on your trip,” which is just crazy to me, because I am so bad at keeping up with people, especially when I’m all wrapped up in my own little violins. And then he turned to Ava and said, “And you’re the one who had the accident with your mouth, right?” And her little jaw dropped while she nodded and grinned.

And at the end of the almost-five-hour show, when The Band of the Night, Skillet, finally made their dramatic appearance, the girls and I kept our eyes on the unbelievable Jonathan Chu, violinist-head-banger-dancer extraordinaire. We hooped and hollered and sang and grinned. Because he’s awesome.

You can check out some more of Gabe’s pics from the show here. And, wouldn’t you know it, writing this post has been therapeutic for me. I already feel better about life. Cue the roller coaster.

Friday night Ava and Nina both had soccer games, and my parents & Gabe’s mom drove down for the festivities. It was wet and rainy, and this picture isn’t even from Friday (or of Ava or Nina), but you get the idea. We hang out at soccer fields every M, W, & F (for five weeks in the fall and spring).

Saturday was awesome. We hung out with a bunch of our buddies from church for almost four hours doing a FREE Car Wash to bless the neighborhood. I spent most of my time on the street corner, waving a sign, doing some dancing, and chatting up folks stopped at the light. I can honestly tell you it was one of the funnest things I’ve ever done. LOVE C-BUS days are some of my FAVORITE.

I was super proud of the girls for holding signs, talking to new people, and washing lots of cars. Nina worked that soapy sponge for almost the whole time, crazy little girl. We washed 32 cars, passed out bottles of water, apples, and granola bars, and took lots of informal surveys on what people like about their neighborhood and what they’d like to change.

We celebrated at Cane’s afterward (some of the best chicken EVER!) and I met the most awesome gal from Cambodia! It was totally God, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Molly, if you’re reading this, e-mail me! I’d love to get together with you sometime! (and put you in my suitcase in December!)

Saturday night, Gabe went to a Columbus Crew game for $1. They lost to the Galaxy 1-0, and David Beckham was a no-show. Double bummer, but Gabe had fun and got some sweet shots.

This afternoon (Sunday) we went hiking with our friends Britt, Pam, and Kristin. There are so many pretty places around here that you would never know were there.

 We saw this log stretching across the creek, and decided it was a good spot for a little photo shoot. It wasn’t super easy getting everyone up on there, but it was nothing compared to what our friend Pam was about to try.

She had this brilliant idea to hang from it. Great idea in theory, but it was a lot harder than it looked, and we almost lost Pam. She was more concerned about her cell phone, so I tried to get it out of her pocket without dashing myself on the rocks.

She did it though!

I’m so thankful for God’s creation and my family and our church and our friends and weekends! (and a husband who’s willing to hang out with a bunch of girls)

That’s a lot of words for someone who’s “run out” of them, eh? Have a great Monday, friends!

2. I’m speaking at a retreat this weekend in Warren, OH. Excited to talk Friday night on Radical and then twice Saturday (on more retreat-friendly topics). Would you pray for me? That God will give me his words, that I’ll be full of his Spirit, and that he will soften & open the women’s hearts to hear what he wants them to hear. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

3. I found out tonight that my friend Sara is dying, and my heart is breaking. Sara and I have never met face-to-face, but she has loved and encouraged me more in the past couple years than I could ever say. I’m so happy for her (her chronic pain will finally end) and so sad for me. I love you, Gitz, and I’ll miss you like crazy!

And 10 years after 343 firefighters (and thousands of others) lost their lives in one day, many of them are dying of cancer (most likely from the toxic dust they inhaled during the search and rescue mission after the towers fell).

A sobering reminder that our time on this earth is so short.

Gabe took this photo tonight right before thunder cracked, and it started to pour rain. He came inside, handed me the flower, and professed his undying love for me. I put it in some water in a red plastic cup and admired its simple beauty on my recently-uncluttered kitchen counters.

Three hours later, it’s all curled up and wilted, slumped over the side of the cup, as sad as can be. And only the glaringly obvious spiritual object lessons remain.

As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field. Psalm 103:15.

All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls. 1 Peter 1:24

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever. Isaiah 40:8

And I know it’s not Wednesday or Thursday, but all roads are leading back to James these days it seems. Our pastor spoke on joy today and had several references to James. And, of course, James also has stuff to say about pretty flowers with little lifespans.

Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass, he will pass away. For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits. James 1: 9-11

(I typed that from memory and only messed up two pesky little prepositions. Hooray! Those little two-, three- and four-letter words are going to be the death of me.)

Oh, how I want to make the most of every moment and pursue only those things that will truly last. That’s my prayer for today.

The past two days of James have been incredible, but man, it takes a lot out of you to read everybody’s stuff and think deep thoughts and leave coherent comments and memorize lots of verses all at once.

Phew. I’ve got my work cut out for me today.

The Update:

Fun Cambodia news! We’ve been saving and saving and saving, and we were inching closer and closer to the $9000 mark. Woohoo!! I had e-mailed a missions travel agency for a quote (for our plane tickets) a few weeks ago, and the options they gave me were going to be around $9,500-$10,000. I told them we didn’t have that much yet and prayed the prices wouldn’t go up.

Then last week I got a royalty check for one of my books, and PRAISE JESUS, I e-mailed them back and said, depending on what the prices are now, we may be able to buy our tickets!

Oh, and we’ve decided to go for a WHOLE ENTIRE MONTH. (eek!!)

So yesterday I get this e-mail with a new quote. UNDER $8000!! Are you kidding me?!? I knew there had to be some mistake.

There wasn’t.

I signed the contract, Gabe is faxing it tomorrow morning, and then we will be the happy, giddy owners of 5 tickets to Cambodia (+ travel insurance). Departure date: December 11.

THAT’S IN THREE MONTHS!! (eek!!)

Gabe has saved almost all of his vacation days for the year (bless his heart!) and got it cleared by his boss. Praise Jesus!!

Next up: saving $ for our tickets from Cambodia to Thailand/food/lodging/whatever else you need if you’re going to spend a month overseas. And soon I’ll be sharing some fun ways you can help by donating supplies to various ministries who are doing amazing work in Cambodia.

Happy Weekend, friends! Thanks so much for all your love and encouragement!

Favor #1: If you’re feeling the slightest twinge of “maybe I should sign up for the James Read-Along, but….” DO IT. I can’t imagine you’ll experience even the slightest regret. Invite your friends to join us too! I’m praying God moves in big, big ways!

Favor #2: If you have 20 seconds, please go leave a comment on this post. My friend Mari wrote a fun little review of The Husband’s Guide and is giving us money for our Cambodia Fund (!!!) for every comment she gets on the post. Isn’t that awesome?!?

Favor #3: I’m watching two beautiful little boys (ages 4yrs and 10 mos) tomorrow (Thursday) for a friend who’s in a pinch. They’ll be mine from 6:45am to 4:30pm. And I’m a teensy bit nervous about meeting all their needs while getting Livi off to school, walking Nina to and from the bus stop (12:20, 3:40), homeschooling Ava, checking my blog comments (teehee), and getting three girls off to soccer practice. Would you pray for me? Thank you!

Favor #4: Tell me your favorite college football team. The girls and I are working on some new washer necklaces, and we want to do some in team spirit color combos. So far, we’ve got requests for Scarlet & Gray (Grey), Maize & Blue, and Chicago Maroon & Orange (from guess who?).

Thanks, friends! You guys/y’all/you people/all y’all y’alls are the BEST!! Happy September!!

–Gabe just did his first of 10 photo shoots as part of his Get Shot, Stop Traffick campaign. Here’s one pic of the cute little fam. Gabe’s an awesome web designer, but what he LOVES to do is take pictures, so I’m super excited for him. He’s doing 10 family shoots for $100 each. 50% goes to Asia’s Hope and 50% to our Cambodia Fund. (If you’re interested, let me know. He was only planning to do 10, but the slots filled so fast, he said he’d do more.)

–Ava got all her books in the mail today for her first year of homeschooling (Ohio Virtual Academy). She is soooooooo excited, and her teacher-mommy is too. School starts officially on Monday, the 29th.

–Soccer started back up. Two weeks of practices, and then we’ll have 6 games a week for the next 5 weeks. It’s our first year of having 3 girls on 3 different teams. My chances of survival are slim.

–My next e-book is DONE. I just need to round up my awesome critique team and have them read through my final draft, then beg my husband to format the whole blasted thing for Kindle/Nook/iPad, figure out a plan for the cover (hoping this guy‘s up for the task again–he’s amazing), and do some marketing/promo (least favorite part but super-duper important).

–Our home is nearly de-cluttered. I say that, but there’s ALWAYS something else that can go, right? Why, oh why, did it take me this long to associate FREEDOM with LESS STUFF?

–We made our first “necessities for Cambodia” purchase a couple nights ago. Bug spray is a must for Cambodia, and I never really thought about the fact that it will be hard to find in December. I was picking up a bottle of nail polish remover for the girls when I saw 2-packs of Off for $2.13. We bought 5 packs (10 cans for $10.65). Score! In the next month or so, I’ll start sharing ways you can get involved in buying/making stuff for us to take when we go. FUN!!

–I’m speaking at my first Men’s Retreat in October. On sex. Gabe’s coming along for moral support and to help make the men less squeamish. He’s also going to speak some. I’m really excited to see what God will do. And I will absolutely welcome any/all prayers you want to offer up on my behalf.

Enough about me. What’s NEW with YOU?

Like our favorite fruit. Or the town of our birth. Or our favorite summertime drink. Or our mom’s first name.

Today we had to write whether we were an introvert or an extrovert.

I was a little torn.

Just like that ancient tale about all those blind dudes who each felt a different part of an elephant so they all had a way different description of the beast, I feel like if you polled 100 people who have had different kinds of interactions with me, you’d get 50 different responses.

Or two. Since there are only two choices.

So, which am I? What did I write on my name tag?

Pseudo-extrovert.

I don’t really even know what that means. Except that I think I’m an introvert in extrovert’s clothing a lot of the time. I feel like I should be a social butterfly, and I can play one really well, so I do. But, in reality, I’m way out of my comfort zone.

Our friend Tom helped make it a little easier to choose. “One way you can tell if you’re an introvert or an extrovert,” he said, “is by how you feel after you’ve been around people. If you gain energy by being with people, you’re more likely an extrovert. If you feel drained of energy, you’re probably more of an introvert.”

I definitely feel drained. Like I need to just come home, put on comfortable clothes, and curl up in my bed with a book.

On the other hand, I really do love people. And I do feel energized in many kinds of social situations.

I feel like my life is full of oxymorons. Am I the only one who finds this question agonizing?

Let’s take a poll:

1. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

2. I’m gonna need to see some proof.

I did not plan to call Gabe 15 minutes into it, ask him if he could please stop what he was doing and take a quick trip to Urgent Care so our youngest could get 3 staples in her head.

I planned to have a clever, witty post all ready for Friday, August 12th on this new blog called The Word Serve Water Cooler (we’re all authors represented by the same agency, and we–by we, I mean they–started a new blog where we can share writing tips and stuff).

I did not plan to forget all about it until 11:55pm, five minutes before it was supposed to go live. It’s there now if you want to check it out. (Hint: it concerns a certain Zoo Trip and corresponding book I haven’t forgotten about.)

I planned to be in bed by midnight so I wouldn’t be a zombie in the morning.

Hello, 1:27 a.m.

Oh well. Some of the best things in life aren’t planned, eh?

So… any big plans for this weekend?

My answer (with zero hesitation): NO.

No way, no huh, not in a million bazillion years. I love, love, love the internet.

If I gave up the internet, I couldn’t Skype with friends in Cambodia.

If I gave up the internet, I couldn’t release a sweet new long-awaited e-book in October (details forthcoming–on the internet, of course).

If I gave up the internet, I could only apologize to a handful of Democrats instead of a boatload.

If I gave up the internet, Ava couldn’t go to this “really cool school” this fall.

If I gave up the internet, I wouldn’t be able to keep in touch with some amazing folks all over the country (and world). And I wouldn’t be able to pray for/advocate on behalf of amazing ministries in Haiti and Thailand and Kenya and EVERYWHERE.

If I gave up the internet, how would I know about this INCREDIBLE woman and be able to invite her into our home in a couple weeks to share her story with anyone who wants to come?

You know I could go on for days.

I’m sure some of you think you could survive without the internet (and maybe you’re right), but for the rest of you, what’s the one thing you would miss most about the internet if you had to give it up?