Just said good-bye to a sweet friend who came over to chat for 90 minutes on my back deck (until we moved to the kitchen table to escape the mosquitoes).

Met a new friend at church who was visiting from out-of-town and now we’re facebook friends. She asked me about Cambodia in the bacon line (you should definitely visit our church) and I knew instantly that we’d be good friends. Plus, we went to the same college and she lives (temporarily) in a town in southern Ohio that I lived in for a short while.

Got invited on a movie date to see The Help by one of the cutest girls I know.

Spent some time chatting about our next Love C-bus event with two of my Missions Team buddies.

Hugged friends at church who I haven’t seen in awhile.

Got to eat Mexican in a big, comfy booth surrounded by my little family that’s always extra-huggy and fighting to be close to me after I’ve been away for 24 hours. The food was delicious, and the love made my heart sing.

Met some of the most amazing women at the retreat I spoke at this weekend. They laughed with me and cried with me and made me feel like we’d known and loved each other forever. They promised to pray for my family and got all excited about our trip to Cambodia.

I got to hear condensed versions of several women’s life stories, and my heart is blessed. These women have been delivered from some serious stuff, and some are still fighting a good fight every single day. Praying for them.

I got to talk about Radical with 13 beautiful women Friday night, and God is moving big-time in their hearts and lives. So, so, so encouraging and gave me the oomph to keep going on this justice journey thing.

Got some thrilling e-mails/facebook messages from folks who want to help bless the Boys’ Center in Cambodia with gifts of toys and money. Stories of getting their kiddos (and even their schools) involved. Be still my heart.

Some gifts from some women who felt God telling them to bless our family and our upcoming trip. Man.

Storing up these moments and pondering them in my heart. And writing lots and lots and lots of thank-you notes this week.

Last thing: if you’ve been a Prayer Doula in the past (someone who prays for one of the expectant mamas in Haiti–Heartline Ministries) or if you haven’t, there are 8 women due soon that need our prayers. What an honor to lift up these women to our awesome God!

Happy Monday, friends!

Anyway. A couple months ago, Gabe got us free smart phones at Best Buy and an unlimited texting plan. But I was too lazy/intimidated to put everyone’s numbers in my new phones and/or to tell them that I had texting now. So I’ve been easing into the texting game slooooowly.

On February 22, though, I got some news that made me giddy, and I sent my first text to my friend Joanne. (for those of you who don’t know, Joanne had a stroke in January and was in a coma for 2 weeks)

Hey, girl. A little birdie told me you’ve been texting. This is Marla. I miss you!!

She texted me back five minutes later, and my heart got stuck in my throat. Miss you too!

I told her I wished Ohio and Colorado were closer. You could move here, she wrote.

Seriously, my heart was just racing. This is a woman who probably shouldn’t have survived the ordeal she went through. And she was in a medically-induced coma and her brain was completely shut down and she had swelling on her brain and a flap of her skull was removed.

I asked her if I could pray for anything specific. She wrote, Fear about another brain flap surgery is eating my lunch.

She talked about how badly she missed her girls and wanted to go home. I told her that I had cried so many tears over the past few weeks as I thought about her and those sweet, sweet darlings.

I could barely keep up with her questions. At one point I asked her, How are you twice as fast a texter as me?!?!

She told me she has thumbs of power (and I needed to practice).

One of my (selfish) fears about Joanne had been that she wouldn’t remember me and our friendship. Well, goodness. She probably remembers every single thing she’s ever said or done. Praise the Lord that her memory is completely intact, her wit and sense of humor are no worse for wear, and she’s as loving and sweet as ever.

She asked me if Cambodia had a national zoo and when we were going. I told her that the zoo book has taken a new twist and that it will have more of a focus on online community and that she is one of the stars.

And that she was totally going to have to write a book about the past few months.

We text just about every day. I tell her what I’m up to. She tells me how she’s doing and what I can pray for. We chat about the food she gets to eat and how a lot of it ends up down the front of her (see Kristen’s post about it here). We say I love you.

She’s so honest, just like always. Lots and lots of hard stuff she’s enduring. I know she gets discouraged a lot, but she’s always so upbeat and positive. My heart aches for her, and I long for her to get all the way better and be back home with her loved ones.

Joanne’s birthday is March 15. I wish I would’ve thought to mention it earlier, but I think there’s still time to get a card to her by then if you hurry: Joanne Heim (c/o Kristen Haufschild) 11004 Grayledge Circle, Highlands Ranch, CO 80130

Yesterday I noticed that we had texted back and forth over 200 times and that big number reminded me of my 1000 Gifts List (have you read Ann Voskamp’s book? you should!). And I knew that Joanne was making her own list of 1000 Things She’s Thankful For.

I’m thinking of writing a blog post called One Thousand Texts, I wrote her. You will be the star. Of course.

Only the co-star! she wrote back.

Well, okay, I wrote. (But we all know she’s the real star.)

After today, we’re at 276 texts. Well on our way to 1000. (that was Gift #514 in my journal today)

She is a living, breathing miracle. Please keep praying for her–for relief from pain, for restful nights, for God to ease her fears about her upcoming surgery (March 25), that she will continue to heal and recover everything she lost.

As soon as I finish this post, I’m going to write text #277.

I love you, girl. You’re my hero.

Anyway.

I distinctly remember the first interaction I had with Deborah. I was at a She Speaks conference in North Carolina with Gabe (well, he drove me to the conference and then made himself scarce at various NASCAR tracks and shops). This conference is where I met Sophie for the first (and only–boo!) time and Melanie (sort of, we didn’t really “meet”) for the first of three times.

Anyway. Deborah.

Gabe and I were in the hotel room, and I got all excited because a gal named Deborah had e-mailed me about ordering multiple copies of my books. I had just asked God to provide for our financial needs, and I saw this as part of his answer. I can’t remember the details perfectly, but I do know that Deborah told me she was single and was buying the books for a bunch of her married or soon-to-be-hitched friends.

Awhile later, she sent me an e-mail and said something to the effect of, “I read your Blushing Bride book and for the first time in my life, I feel perfectly content being single. Thank you for painting such a realistic picture of marriage. So many times, those of us who aren’t married imagine that marriage is nothing but amazing and dreamy and romantic. Thanks for showing me that’s not really true.”

In other words, thanks for bursting my bubble and scaring me from EVER EVER EVER getting married. Is it really going to be that AWFUL?!? Oh, the horror! (no, I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that).

Over the next three years, Deborah became such a huge encouragement to me in so many ways. For one thing, she kept on buying more and more books. The girl has a million friends. But more importantly, she would pray for me, ask me how I was doing, send little messages that blessed me like crazy.

And this past weekend? I got to meet Deborah in real life when I spoke at her church’s Women’s Retreat. (Please ignore my hair. I put it in a ponytail for my last speaking session, but when we took the pic the first time it looked like I was bald, so I took it out. Nice.)

She was even more wonderful and beautiful and awesome in person. I kid you not. This woman is a treasure. I didn’t get to talk to her before I started speaking (she and her friends were just the teensiest bit late), so I met her for the first time after I’d already gotten up in front of everyone. I paused for a big hug, and it was fabulous. We got to chat at the end, and she walked me out to my van.

After one of the sessions, a gal came up to me and introduced herself as Sharon, Deborah’s friend. “Deborah gave me your Changing the World One Diaper at a Time book before I got pregnant with my first,” she said. She now had two boys, ages 2 and baby. “I’ll be honest,” she said, “when Deborah asked me if I liked the book I told her that, actually, I thought it was kind of depressing.”

I grinned.

“I mean, I still wanted to have kids and everything, but… Maybe I should read it again now that I’m a mom. I’d probably like it a lot more.”

I told her that I understood. My Blushing book had scared Deborah away from marriage. My Diapers book scares not-yet-moms into using birth control. Deborah came over then and we all had a good laugh about it.

If you’ve read the books as a wife or mom, you probably “got” them. And you probably weren’t depressed so much as relieved that you weren’t the only one having a little bit of a rough time being married or having a baby.

But put yourself in a single gal’s shoes. Or someone who doesn’t have kids yet. A realistic picture of marriage and motherhood can be a frightening thing. That’s kind of why we don’t tell brides-to-be and expectant mamas the whole truth. We want them to actually tie the knot and bear young. Or more truthfully, we want them to suffer like we’ve suffered (kidding!).

I hope you know that I absolutely love being a wife and mama more than I could ever say. And I can’t thank God enough for blessing me with Gabe and my girlies, who make my “job” so much sweeter. They rock my world.

But I’m still gonna be real, even if it turns people off. So, I guess I should be marketing my book to my single friends. “Hey! You think you want a husband? Read this, why don’tcha?”

Have a great weekend, friends! Whatever stage of life you’re in, embrace it as best you can. I don’t mean you should settle. Just determine to be content, but take lots of big, scary, fun leaps of faith too. You won’t regret it.

A few months ago, my friend Joanne called me to ask me which kind of bag I’d prefer–one with two short handles, two long handles, or one over-the-shoulder strap. “I wanted this to be a surprise,” she said, “but I want to make something you’ll really like, so I decided to let you choose your own style.” She had found some really cool giraffe fabric (and knows I love giraffes) and planned to make me a bag for my birthday (on Halloween).

That’s the kind of friend Joanne is.

“Over-the-shoulder,” I said. “I’ll take it to the library with me and fill it with books.” A love affair with the library is one of the many things we have in common.

I’ve probably gotten close to a dozen packages in the mail from Joanne over the course of the last four years. Things like vintage vocabulary cards and an old kids’ book about Ohio from the library close-out sale. Handmade zippy pouches and Beth Moore study guide covers.

And on Friday, January 7, the mailman delivered a package to my door. It was from Joanne. When I opened it up, I gasped at this amazingly gorgeous bag.

The attached card reads, “Happy birthday, Merry Christmas, Happy birthday, Merry Christmas!” And on the back: “I didn’t forget–it just took longer than I expected! Love, Joanne”

I smiled and shook my head at her amazing-ness and thoughtfulness and then I reciprocated in the only way I know how–I sent her a thank-you note with sticker-Scrabble magnets that spelled L-O-V-E, her “word for the year.” I mailed it Saturday morning.

On Tuesday, January 11, at 9:00am, Joanne had a stroke. And thus began a 2-week fight for her life. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. But she did it. She made it. She woke up. PRAISE JESUS!! And now begins the most difficult journey of her life.

In the past 3 weeks, thousands and thousands of people around the world have rallied around Joanne’s family and prayed their hearts out for our sweet sister in Christ. And she is making remarkable, miraculous progress.

She’s been moved to a LTAC (long term acute care) facility where she’ll be doing the long, hard work of getting better. Toben (Joanne’s husband) has been faithfully updating Joanne’s blog, and Joanne’s amazing sister, Kristen–a mama of 3 and a fabulous photographer–has written some really moving posts on her own blog. I love this one where she took pics of a bunch of the mail Joanne has gotten and this one where she shared pics of Joanne’s new room all decorated with her goodies.

I know so many of you have already sent Joanne cards/letters/gifts, but I’d love for all of us to completely BOMBARD her with LOVE this Valentine’s Day. Whether you love this holiday or hate it, you’ve got to admit it’s a perfect opportunity to show Joanne (and her family) that she is loved.

You can send your Valentines to Joanne Heim (c/o Kristen Haufschild) 11004 Grayledge Circle, Highlands Ranch, CO 80130

I’ll bet her daughters Audrey (12) and Emma (10) would be tickled to get some Valentines too!

Speaking of Valentines, my friend Holly messaged me on Facebook yesterday and said “You should make handmade Valentines to raise money for your Cambodia Trip!” Ha! What Holly didn’t know is that I’d already started making some.

IMPORTANT NOTE: VALENTINES ARE SOLD OUT!! THANK YOU!!

If you need some Valentines AND want to help us get to Cambodia all the faster, you can purchase your own set of 4 for $5.01. (the penny is to distinguish Valentine orders from Cambodia Photo Card orders in our Paypal account) The $5.01 includes shipping and you may choose the 4 cards you want (or let me mix-and-match for you). The only “rules”–no 2 cards can be the same, and U.S. addresses only.

DO NOT SEND THESE VALENTINES TO JOANNE. I want her to get a million DIFFERENT Valentines, not a ton of the same. Plus, I’m sending her one of these!

The cards are 5×7 and each one comes with a red envelope. *Limit 2 orders per person.* You can pay via Paypal here or e-mail me if you’d rather send a check. You can also e-mail me with your custom order (which 4 cards you want).

So, there you have it. Buy some Valentines for your loved ones. Send a Valentine to Joanne and her girls. And have a Happy Wednesday!

I can’t even imagine. Tears sprang to my eyes when I read that the first time. Then again when I read it the second time. And now again.

Can you imagine being 9 or 12 and your mommy is lying unresponsive in a hospital bed (and has been for almost a week), and now you have to gather up all the courage and strength you can muster and go back to school where you haven’t been for 18 months?

The good thing is that this is a Christian school, and it’s filled with old friends. Everyone will have heard about Joanne and will love on her girls in amazing ways. Thank you, God, that their teachers and classmates know you and can encourage these beautiful young women with your truth and comfort. And I think it might be just what they need instead of sitting at home with nothing to do but miss their mommy.

But it will still be hard. Friends, please pray for God’s peace and strength to just envelop these little girls as they go back to school. They are so precious.

Joanne’s blog has been updated (I’m so thankful for you, Gabe) with tangible ways you can help her sweet family during this hard time.

(These pics are from the Phoenix Zoo, July 2009. Toben and Joanne had an appointment that morning, so we took Audrey and Emma with us. 115 degrees before noon. Wowzers.)

^Audrey, Ava, Nina, Livi, Emma. (and some sweaty lady pushing the stroller)

^Audrey and Ava.

^Emma and Livi.

^I love these people.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, friends, for praying for Joanne and her family. You are AMAZING. See you here tomorrow for our discussion of Chapters 5, 6, and 7 of Your Secret Name.

I’m not much of a singer, but I’ve been singing “Isaiah 40″ (a song I learned a long time ago at church camp) as a prayer for Joanne every time I’ve driven somewhere in the last couple days.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth, he will not grow tired or weary. And his understanding, no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Allelujah. Allelujah. Allelujah. Allelujah.

God, work a miracle in my sweet friend’s brain. We know you can heal her. We know you may choose not to. But right now, we’re pleading with you with everything we’ve got to shower your healing mercies all over Joanne. In Jesus’ powerful name, Amen.

Tonight Livi and I went to the grocery store together, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about Audrey and Joanne. Audrey wanted to see her mama today, so they decided to let her. When she first went in, she immediately came back out sobbing and ran into her Gran’s arms. But that sweet little 12-year-old girl was determined to try again, and she spent a good chunk of time holding her mama’s hand, playing new songs for her on her iPod, and even massaging her feet.

As Livi and I pulled onto our street tonight on the way home, I reached over and held her hand. Tears came to my eyes as I realized how blessed I was to be riding with her in a mini-van instead of lying in a hospital bed.

Goodness, I meant to keep this light tonight. So, I was looking back through my very first e-mails from Joanne. And I wanted to share a couple fun bits and pieces from them.

I actually read Toben and Joanne’s book, Happily Ever After (in 2004 maybe?) when I was doing research for Blushing Bride and even quoted her book in mine. In December of 2006, I had just signed on with an agent for the first time, and he gave me an example of a book proposal to look at while I was writing my next one. The book was Living Simply. The author Joanne Heim.

I left this comment on her blog on December 23, 2006. She and her family were on a cruise. With the stomach flu.

That is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard. You poor dears! Good to know you’re skinny though. Looking forward to hearing some happy news from aboard the U.S.S. Ralph.

She replied: Thanks, Marla! Yes, it was pretty awful…but we’ve recovered, are finally home tonight, and anxious to get settled and dig out of the snow in the morning!

On 12.25.06, I left this comment after she had posted a pic of their family dressed up for a dance on the ship: No way! That dress Audrey’s wearing was my oldest daughter’s Easter dress this year!

She replied: Way! It was Audrey’s Easter dress this past year too. You must have really good taste.

Then I e-mailed her: Hi, Joanne. I’m Marla. Nice to meet you. Just wanted you to know that I prayed for your girlies just now and will keep praying whenever they come to mind. I feel like I know them after reading Living Simply, which I just finished yesterday… I about peed my pants every time I read something else we have in common (except that I don’t knit, could never be a ballet dancer, and am not opposed to an occasional trip to Chuck E. Cheese). The icing on the cake was your H.S. prom pic on your blog–my husband Gabe looked JUST LIKE TOBEN when he was a senior in high school.

She e-mailed back: Thanks so much for such an encouraging e-mail! … And thanks for the books… Flipping through, I just have to let you know that I too am 5 feet 10 inches tall. Weird, huh? Can’t wait to put the girls to bed tonight and cuddle up with your books… since Toben’s out of town…

And then she blogged about working in a library when she was 11. I commented on her post: How random! I worked in a library when I was 11 too! I was a 5th grader and volunteered in the school library. LOVED it. The absolute best part was sticking the cards from the back pocket into the little machine that stamped the due date on them. It made the coolest sound!

Joanne: Of course you worked at the library–parallel lives indeed!

She read Is That All He Thinks About? quick as a wink and sent me a mile-long e-mail that completely made my day. Gut-honest, deeply personal, setting the stage for a beautiful, soul-baring, four-years-and-counting friendship.

She finished with, Every time I get an e-mail from you, I wish we could sit on the couch and drink coffee and munch scones and have a nice long visit. Not sure if that will happen, but I’ve found that as I “meet” more people online through my books and blog, I look more and more forward to eternity in heaven. So though we’ve not met face to face, I’m so thankful for your friendship.

I’m so thankful for your friendship too, you dear girl. Can’t wait for our next real-life nice long visit. I love you.

Do you have a dear friend you met online? I’d love to hear about her.

My dear friend, Joanne, suffered a major stroke Tuesday morning, and after much brain swelling and surgery where they removed part of her skull, she’s in a fight for her very life. Today was a hard day with lots of tears. We love you so much, girl, and we’re praying without ceasing for you!!

The latest update from her hubby Toben via our friend Holly Smith (9:00pm Wed.): Praying for Joanne’s brain to rest and heal over next 48-72 hours. Praying for low stimulation, waking on her own. She’s under sedation and pain meds, unlikely she’ll wake up tomorrow. That is good–allows for healing to occur. Pray for no damage to the brain stem, for her to wake up, for her to be able to communicate and read, to physically regain mobility.

Joanne (a published author) and I first met because of a mutual love for books and writing. My hope and prayer is that the story of her stroke–and full, God-glorifying recovery–will be a best-selling book (or at least a heck of a lot of blog posts) someday. Please keep Joanne and her sweet family in your prayers!

Speaking of BOOKS, to win a copy of Is That All He Thinks About? AND The Husband Project by the fabulous Kathi Lipp (upon whose head I wished a pox), just leave a comment below answering ONE of the following questions:

1. What do you love most about your spouse?

OR

2. What’s your favorite color?

I’ll choose one winner at random Friday at noon (EST). U.S. addresses only please! Have a great day, and please pray for Joanne!

UPDATE (2:05pm): From Toben: Out of surgery. Lots of brain trauma including to her brain stem. Please pray that she wakes up. Typing through tears. God, increase my faith! Believing you for Joanne’s complete healing!

Latest update from Toben (12:45pm): Read his post here. Please keep praying, friends!

UPDATE from Joanne’s sister 11:00am: Friends, just got a call from the hospital…Joanne was not doing well in the night…they did a cat scan and she has considerable swelling on her brain and is going into surgery within the hour to have part of her skull removed to give her brain some room to allow for the swelling. Obviously I am numb. Please pray.

My heart stopped tonight when I found out that my sweet online-turned-real-life friend, Joanne, had suffered a stroke earlier today, and that doctors were working on a blood clot on her brain. I don’t know all the details–just that her 9-year-old daughter, Emma, found her lying on the basement floor, shaking violently beside the running treadmill. (I can hardly stand to think about that.)

Just after midnight, her husband Toben posted an update on her blog. There is a possibility of hemorrhaging and swelling (which are both very bad scenarios), and the next 72 hours are critical.

I got down on my face when I first heard, still in shock, and asked God to please heal my friend. And when I thought of sweet Audrey and Emma and how scared they must be, I just lost it. Oh, God, please heal Joanne. Heal her brain and her speech and restore everything she might have lost. Love on Toben and hold those precious little girls tonight. Give them a peace that far surpasses all human understanding. I can’t even imagine. My heart hurts so bad.

Joanne and I met online almost 4 years ago through a mutual friend, then we stayed in the Heims’ home (they lived in AZ at the time) in July 2009 on the last leg of our Zoo Trip. Our girls had the most wonderful time together.

Joanne has been such an encouragement and blessing to me over these past four years. Just last week she sent me a beautiful giraffe-print over-the-shoulder bag that she made me as a birthday/Christmas gift. She is such a kind, thoughtful, creative and talented person. I sent her Scrabble magnets as a thank-you that spelled L-O-V-E, her word for the year. I wonder if she got them.

This is Joanne and her girlies leading mine in a prayer (w/motions) before dinner.

I don’t have any more words right now, just feeling a huge weight of sadness for my friend and her family. Please join me in praying for Joanne. I know God can heal her. Please heal her, sweet Jesus.

(As we were leaving their house, we realized we hadn’t taken a picture of the two of us, so we took one on Gabe’s phone.)

All those Christmas cards the past few weeks reminded me how much I love to get mail (and we didn’t send one this year–boo). And it got me thinking–January is considered the most depressing month of the year, and that’s probably due in part to the fact that just when we get used to getting personalized mail every day, BOOM. It’s all over but the bills.

So, I’m not going to kill myself keeping some nutso Mail Goals, and I’m not going to beat myself up if I don’t mail something every day, but I’m going to make a sincere effort to Mail Things to People for the entire month of January. Encouraging things. To whomever God brings to my mind.

Things like handwritten notes and S-C-R-A-B-B-L-E magnets and something-or-other that I might create from the super cool alphabet cards from this 1964 game (I scored 2 of them for less than a dollar at the thrift store before Christmas).

Or things lying around my house that remind me of people I know and love.

When we cleaned out my grandma’s house so she could move into the nursing home, I inherited a lot of random odds and ends that had belonged to her. A few of those things just said “my friend so-and-so” to me. An old dress pattern went to a friend who loves to sew. A vintage red-handled cake cutter (new in the box) went to a friend who has her own cake business and makes masterpieces like this:

Do you have any blank note cards begging to be used or some sweet trinkets dying to be sent to someone who might be blessed by them?

The girls and I have been busy getting envelopes of (flat) goodies ready to send to our orphanage with Jen when she goes back to Cambodia in a week. She was so sweet to post pics of the kiddos opening the last stash we sent. Melted my heart into a puddle. I can’t wait for them to get more paper/markered/stickered/beaded love.

And I reeeeeally can’t wait until we get to go back and see them in person!

If you could get one thing in the mail (that doesn’t cost much–if anything–but would mean the world to you), what would it be?

(And I’d tell you my list, but I know you generous little freaks. You’d flood my mailbox with sweetness until I was completely embarrassed by all the attention. How about this? If you love me, send a little something in my honor to someone who could use a bit of sunshine in the coming winter months.)

p.s. If you’re joining our next Read-Along, don’t forget to introduce yourself on yesterday’s post!!