Happy First Birthday, Abigail! Your mommy and daddy (and so many other people) miss you very, very much, but they wouldn’t take a single day away from this amazing year you’ve spent with Jesus. We’ll see you soon, okay?

And I know you’re just tickled pink over your tiny, new baby brother, Gregory John (born March 1, 2010). He’s darling and gorgeous and will bring your mommy and daddy so much joy, but he will never, ever take your place in their hearts. It’s that magic that God does when parents have more kiddos–their hearts just grow and grow. And your mommy and daddy’s hearts are bursting with love for you, beautiful girl.

We love you, sweet thing. Happy, happy, happy birthday!!

If you haven’t seen this amazing video of Amy and Billy talking about Abigail, you’ve just got to. Seriously.

The following was originally posted on September 22, 2009. It’s long, but soooo worth the read.

I have a little friend who lives in heaven. Her name is Abigail. We only met once (March 6, 2009), but we became instant friends. And actually, by the time her daddy introduced us, the real Abigail was already with Jesus. I only got to meet her beautiful, tiny little body. Here’s part of her story (condensed from March 11 blog post–read the whole story here):

And I told you about my friend Amy’s baby Abigail, diagnosed with triploidy at her 20-week ultrasound in November. Abigail stopped developing at 16 weeks and wasn’t expected to live past 30 weeks. She made it 36. Her heart stopped beating 2 weeks ago, and Amy went in for an induction Thurs. evening…

Praise the Lord–Tammy [our pastor's wife] got to be there for Amy and Billy when they met Abigail. (Kim and I waited in the waiting room.)

Then Amy sent Tammy to come get us. We hugged her and Billy, then Billy wanted us to meet Abigail. I don’t know that I’ve ever had a greater honor in all my life. In fact, I know I haven’t.

She was beautiful. Kim held her. I cried tears of joy as I pictured her up in heaven, skipping with Jesus.

Her mommy and daddy have been through so much these past four months. Many people have expressed their disapproval that Amy and Billy chose to carry her, knowing her “fate.” They honored God so deeply with their choice, and I just know He’s using them and little Abigail for His glory. Mike and Tammy prayed and read Scripture over Abigail after she was born, and the doctor, nurse and midwife joined their circle. Talk about a powerful witness.

God is good.

Please pray for Amy and Billy. Oh, how hard it’s got to be for them right now. My heart breaks for them, leaving the hospital with empty arms.

Abigail’s sweet little face is permanently etched on the wall of my mind, reminding me that life is short and people are precious–especially my children. May I never, ever forget.

The past six months haven’t been easy for Amy and Billy. While the rest of the world has gone on with their lives, Amy and Billy still ache for their baby girl. And for much of the time, they hurt all alone. No one else understands the deep, deep love they have for their precious daughter.

But God is good. Still. And He has done so many beautiful things–in Amy and Billy’s lives and in so many others. So many incredible things. And Amy, whom I count as one of my dearest friends, told me just the other day, “If it hadn’t been for Abigail, who knows if we ever would’ve developed such a beautiful friendship? She brought us together.” She did, and I’m forever grateful to her.

And darling Abigail is rejoicing with Jesus today–and has been every day for quite awhile now, because growing peacefully in her Mama’s belly is her 16-week-old brother or sister. Due to enter this world on March 4, 2010–just 2 days before Abigail’s 1st birthday.

Can you believe our God?

Abigail’s condition was not genetic, and after today’s ultrasound, her little sibling appears to be absolutely and completely healthy, with Amy’s body doing everything exactly perfectly.

I know Billy and Amy are thrilled that God is blessing them with another baby. I even know that aside from some twinges of anxiety, they have an unexplainable peace about this baby’s health.

Yet, there’s one thing that’s a little tougher to work through. When Billy first found out Amy was pregnant, he immediately said, through tears, “I just don’t want Abigail to get gypped.”

For those of you with two children, you remember what it felt like right before your second one came. “How in the world am I going to love another child just as much? And how is it fair that I’m bringing another baby into this world and cheating my firstborn of some of my love?”

It’s magic though, isn’t it? You love them both. 100%.

Amy and Billy will too. It’s just that Abigail’s not here to physically receive her 100%. And some people don’t understand the depth of love a Mommy and Daddy can have for a child they spent such a short time with. They might think of this baby as taking Abigail’s place. No one can ever take the place of a child you’ve lost. Not even another child.

I’m having trouble thinking of words here to convey what’s in my heart. I guess what I want to say is this: will you pray with me for Amy and Billy? Will you pray for a healthy pregnancy for Amy (and strength–she teaches first grade) and for God to just lavish His amazing love and peace all over both of them? Will you pray for them as they navigate through the exciting emotions of expecting a baby while grieving another one? Each beautiful, happy moment is one they will feel blessed to experience–but without their Abigail.

And would you do me a favor and leave a comment for Amy and Billy letting them know you love them and will be praying? They mean the world to me, and I know your love and prayers will mean the world to them.

Congratulations, Miss Abigail, on your new little baby! We’re going to take such good care of him/her for you! Thank our Jesus for me, will you? I love you, girl!

Missed Part 1? Here you go.

I’m just going to air this out right now. No sense in playing it cool and pretending I didn’t care whether or not I got to meet Beth Moore. That sweet woman has done more to help me fall in love with Jesus than anyone on earth (save my wonderful parents who introduced me to Him long ago). If there is anyone I’d rather meet, I can’t figure out who it’d be.

HOWEVER, God and I had spent some precious, precious time together already that weekend, and we had a deal. This weekend was HIS GIFT to me. And He would be making all the arrangements. I would just sit back, take it all in, and lick queso off my fingers when the situation called for it. I was there for HIM. Anything else was just icing on the cake (which is a poor analogy for someone who likes neither icing nor cake).

A Siesta named Amanda May expressed my sentiments exactly. You HAVE to read her post. Here’s just a snippet of what she said: “He knows that sometimes I can get so caught up with someone that I admire, that I take my eyes off of Him. So He took my prayer, my willingness to be stripped, and He did it. The Lord freed me up to enjoy and learn from Beth’s teaching, without being so caught up with her that I missed Him.“

Amen, amen, amen, AMEN. GOD was the one filling up my heart this weekend. I knew I could leave Houston without meeting Beth and be 100% complete.

So. That was a lovely little 250-word intro. Now back to my story.

Amanda and I arrived at the church early. I bought some $2 gourmet coffee, and I think Amanda had a breakfast taco and some hot chocolate. Then we headed back to the Green Room. You might know where this is heading.

I had a wonderful time chatting with Michelle (“Hawk”), one of the LPM staff. I met Sabrina, the LPM director and a bunch of other fabulous, servant-hearted staff members. I can’t tell you how amazing these women (and 1 man) are. They love what they do, they’re good at it, and they’re so passionate about Jesus and people.

Then Beth arrived. And while part of me saw the woman I’ve been learning from and laughing with the past four years, I mostly saw the mom of one of my dear friends. She said hi to me. I shook her hand and said, “I’m Marla,” then we hugged. And in a backward twist of events, instead of me gushing about her, she gushed about me. How Amanda has told her so much about me and how I must be something special because Amanda doesn’t just let people sleep in the same bed with her. “She just doesn’t do that, does she?” She asked about my babies (their little faces were smiling at her from my bag), and I can’t remember what else.

It was such a sweet blessing. She is so kind. And a million other adjectives. She makes my heart swell.

Then (or maybe before Beth?) I met Travis Cottrell, who is super-friendly, awfully-humble, a real Tennessee family man with an amazing voice. We talked about my hubby (who interviewed Travis for his podcast last year).

(I didn’t actually meet the darling, brilliant Melissa until the event was over, and she was lying flat on her back in the Bride Room, exhausted. Love that girl.)

Oh, so many words already. Speeding things up. I excused myself before the staff all prayed together and rushed off to find Melanie who was saving me a seat. Again, the teaching was wonderful, the worship amazing, the question-and-answer time with Beth, Amanda and Melissa hilarious.

Mel and I said our Scriptures to each other (just the minimum 10. I’m sooooo impressed by all of you who did all 24!). It was such a sweet time. One of my favorite parts of the weekend was the commissioning, where you stand facing a friend, hold her hands in yours, look in her eyeballs and repeat after Beth a beautiful commission to go out in the world and apply what you’ve learned.

It’s HARD to look into someone’s eyes and say things, but I’m so glad I got to do it with Melanie. We ended it with a great big hug, and not comparing Melanie to God, but it felt like God Himself had just squeezed me in His arms. Sigh.

They announced the winners of the Best Blog Name, and my new friend Meghan got 2nd place for her blog, Spicy Magnolia. Hooray, Meg! You can read her account of the weekend here.

After it was over, we all headed out to mingle. Beth, Amanda and Melissa each had their own line of people who wanted pictures with them. Melanie and Travis were chatting. Meghan and I were chatting. I got my picture taken with Missy. I hugged Kelli and Anna good-bye (sniff, sniff). And I really can’t remember what else.

Then Amanda whisked me away again, and I got to enjoy a very special lunch in a very fun restaurant with a slightly tipsy waiter. I loved every minute of sitting at that round table. Big Mama on my left, Mama Beth on my right, Amanda, Melissa and Travis across the way. We laughed and talked and laughed and laughed and laughed.

I will treasure the memory for always.

Melissa and I got seafood crepes, and the other 3 girls got Shrimp and Cheese Grits. I could kick myself for not taking a bite of Melanie’s (I’ve never had grits). Travis had meatloaf (I know you were wondering, and I’m pretty sure this is the only place you’re going to get this irrelevant information.) We all split a warm, flaky, apricot delicacy for dessert.

And I have no pictures, but Fabulous Photog Melissa did take some, so maybe I’ll have one to show you eventually.

And I’ve got to HURRY if I’m going to make it in under 1200 (1200!) words. Hugged everyone good-bye, headed to Amanda’s, met her DARLING family, played with her gorgeous babies (oh, I love them so much!), watched TV, chatted, ate Papa John’s pizza, watched a movie, headed to bed.

She got up before 5am on Sunday to drive me to the airport. Can I just say that this girl is one of the sweetest, smartest, most unselfish, fun, beautiful, loving, godly people I’ve ever met? Love you so much, Amanda. I’ll never be able to repay you.

And I got soap in my eye in the shower and it burned so bad, I couldn’t wear my right contact. I had to hold my hand over my eye to read the signs at the airport. Can you say head-ache?

I flew to Charlotte, hung out for 2+ hours, then on to Dayton where my parents picked me up (thank you, Mom and Dad!), then I waited to be reunited with my hubby and girls. Oh, I missed them! (And they loved their battery-operated hamsters I bought them on sale in the Charlotte airport.)

And that’s it, give or take 320 details. Thanks for reading. And THANK YOU, JESUS, for your crazy, crazy, crazy love!

I turned on my computer at 9:00 a.m. Monday and found three messages from my friend Gail. “We’re going to the zoo today! Can you meet us?”

Gail, her hubby, and their three girlies (Caroline and Susannah–7, Josie–4) live in Kentucky. We stayed with them back in August of last year when we went to the Louisville Zoo. Zoo #1 of 52. We also stayed with them on our way to the Nashville Zoo.Their girls are on Fall Break this week, so they’re spending time with family in Ohio.

When I read Gail’s message, my first thought was–drop everything and head to the zoo with Nina. Then my second thought was–Livi and Ava love Caroline and Susannah with everything in them. They haven’t seen them in over a year. How can I go to the zoo without them?

So I jumped in the shower, got dressed, packed a lunch, called the girls’ schools, and headed to pick them up (90 minutes after they got there). When I got to Ava’s school, her principal (a woman) said, “Ava’s not sick, is she?” I explained the zoo thing. “Oh, I’m so glad Ava gets to do this,” she said.

Now, that’s what I love in a principal. Someone who realizes that skipping school is sometimes more important than going.

Anyway. We had an awesome day. Josie and Nina took a little while to warm up to each other, but the older four were skipping, hugging, giggling and hand-holding like old pals in a matter of seconds. We came home exhausted but oh, so happy.

Nina, Josie, Livi, Caroline, Ava, Susannah.

Gail with the girls. The brunette addition is Lily, Gail’s niece (and daughter of my dear friend Beki).

Gail and me. (photo credit: Nina Taviano)

Komodo, Josie, Lily, Nina.

Caroline and Liver Lou.

Hanging out in the African Village Grainery.

Love you, Gail and fam! And you too, Beki! We love making memories with you!

Friends. The Zoo. Hooky. Does it get any better than that?

Another misleading title. Sorry. Everybody’s healthy. Promise.

I went to my first choir practice ever tonight. Well, since I was small.

I’m singing in our church’s Christmas program this year, because my friends loved me enough to beg me to do it. And I’m excited for the excuse to spend more time with them.

And our choir director/pastor’s wife is one of my favorite people alive.

We introduced ourselves tonight, and she (Tammy) asked us to share one word (just one!) that described our heart right now.

My word was discouraged.

But as of 10:50 pm, I’m officially changing it to hopeful.

What ONE word sums up the condition of your heart right now?

(I’m betting an undisclosed amount of imaginary money that a handful of you will be physically unable to leave a one-word comment.)

I have a little friend who lives in heaven. Her name is Abigail. We only met once (March 6, 2009), but we became instant friends. And actually, by the time her daddy introduced us, the real Abigail was already with Jesus. I only got to meet her beautiful, tiny little body. Here’s part of her story (condensed from March 11 blog post–read the whole story here):

And I told you about my friend Amy’s baby Abigail, diagnosed with triploidy at her 20-week ultrasound in November. Abigail stopped developing at 16 weeks and wasn’t expected to live past 30 weeks. She made it 36. Her heart stopped beating 2 weeks ago, and Amy went in for an induction Thurs. evening…

Praise the Lord–Tammy [our pastor's wife] got to be there for Amy and Billy when they met Abigail. (Kim and I waited in the waiting room.)

Then Amy sent Tammy to come get us. We hugged her and Billy, then Billy wanted us to meet Abigail. I don’t know that I’ve ever had a greater honor in all my life. In fact, I know I haven’t.

She was beautiful. Kim held her. I cried tears of joy as I pictured her up in heaven, skipping with Jesus.

Her mommy and daddy have been through so much these past four months. Many people have expressed their disapproval that Amy and Billy chose to carry her, knowing her “fate.” They honored God so deeply with their choice, and I just know He’s using them and little Abigail for His glory. Mike and Tammy prayed and read Scripture over Abigail after she was born, and the doctor, nurse and midwife joined their circle. Talk about a powerful witness.

God is good.

Please pray for Amy and Billy. Oh, how hard it’s got to be for them right now. My heart breaks for them, leaving the hospital with empty arms.

Abigail’s sweet little face is permanently etched on the wall of my mind, reminding me that life is short and people are precious–especially my children. May I never, ever forget.

The past six months haven’t been easy for Amy and Billy. While the rest of the world has gone on with their lives, Amy and Billy still ache for their baby girl. And for much of the time, they hurt all alone. No one else understands the deep, deep love they have for their precious daughter.

But God is good. Still. And He has done so many beautiful things–in Amy and Billy’s lives and in so many others. So many incredible things. And Amy, whom I count as one of my dearest friends, told me just the other day, “If it hadn’t been for Abigail, who knows if we ever would’ve developed such a beautiful friendship? She brought us together.” She did, and I’m forever grateful to her.

And darling Abigail is rejoicing with Jesus today–and has been every day for quite awhile now, because growing peacefully in her Mama’s belly is her 16-week-old brother or sister. Due to enter this world on March 4, 2010–just 2 days before Abigail’s 1st birthday.

Can you believe our God?

Abigail’s condition was not genetic, and after today’s ultrasound, her little sibling appears to be absolutely and completely healthy, with Amy’s body doing everything exactly perfectly.

I know Billy and Amy are thrilled that God is blessing them with another baby. I even know that aside from some twinges of anxiety, they have an unexplainable peace about this baby’s health.

Yet, there’s one thing that’s a little tougher to work through. When Billy first found out Amy was pregnant, he immediately said, through tears, “I just don’t want Abigail to get gypped.”

For those of you with two children, you remember what it felt like right before your second one came. “How in the world am I going to love another child just as much? And how is it fair that I’m bringing another baby into this world and cheating my firstborn of some of my love?”

It’s magic though, isn’t it? You love them both. 100%.

Amy and Billy will too. It’s just that Abigail’s not here to physically receive her 100%. And some people don’t understand the depth of love a Mommy and Daddy can have for a child they spent such a short time with. They might think of this baby as taking Abigail’s place. No one can ever take the place of a child you’ve lost. Not even another child.

I’m having trouble thinking of words here to convey what’s in my heart. I guess what I want to say is this: will you pray with me for Amy and Billy? Will you pray for a healthy pregnancy for Amy (and strength–she teaches first grade) and for God to just lavish His amazing love and peace all over both of them? Will you pray for them as they navigate through the exciting emotions of expecting a baby while grieving another one? Each beautiful, happy moment is one they will feel blessed to experience–but without their Abigail.

And would you do me a favor and leave a comment for Amy and Billy letting them know you love them and will be praying? They mean the world to me, and I know your love and prayers will mean the world to them.

Congratulations, Miss Abigail, on your new little baby! We’re going to take such good care of him/her for you! Thank our Jesus for me, will you? I love you, girl!