A huge THANK YOU to everyone who entered his/her favorite missions organization in the give-away! I seriously LOVED reading about all the folks that are telling people about Jesus around the globe. So, so cool!

And the winners (according to random.org) are…

26–Rachelle for Amazima Ministries International.

1–Rachel for International Disaster Emergency Service (IDES).

18–Susan for I never win, and my baby is screaming. If I do happen to win. I’ll come up with something, and hopefully he’ll be done screaming at me! (I had never heard of this organization before. It sounds like they do great work for the kingdom!)

2–Holly for Child Evangelism Fellowship.

27–Stonefox for The International Mission Board (IMB).

CONGRATULATIONS to the winners!! Contact me, girls, and we’ll get checks written and/or online donations made. (I’m probably going to be offline from Thursday to Monday, so it may be next week before I get back to you. I’ll at least try to get you your link to your FREE e-BOOK!)

(And while we’re drawing winners, this is embarrassing, but Beth in the City? If you’re in the building, you won a Living Proof Ministries Planner about a month ago, and I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. Oh well, it’s only March, right? You’ll get a good solid 9 months out of the thing.)

For those of you who didn’t win, I’d encourage you to make a donation to that missions organization anyway. AND to go buy a copy of Worlds Apart. We’ve raised $40 for missions so far (10 books sold), and I’d love to get to $100 soon. As soon as I do, I’m going to send $50 each to Jen in Cambodia and Janelle for Kenya. I’d love your help, friends!

Speaking of people around the world who need prayer and financial support, I did something Sunday that I haven’t done in a very long time. And actually, I don’t know that I’d ever really done it all the way before. Sara inspired me to fast all day Sunday and pray for some kiddos with cancer, some kiddos being trafficked, orphans, and lots of other people in need.

Of all the spiritual disciplines (praying, reading the Bible, memorizing Scripture…), fasting is my least favorite. Because most of the others? Are right up my alley. Denying myself food when I’m hungry? HA! No thank you.

I think I’d like to talk more about my experience, but I’m still processing some stuff. So, I’m going to turn it over to you while I ruminate (and pack for New Jersey).

What is your personal experience with (or your general thoughts on) the practice of fasting?

p.s. (pre-script) Don’t forget to enter your favorite missions organization in the Worlds Apart give-away! FIVE people will win a copy of Worlds Apart and $20 for their favorite missions organization. If you haven’t checked out some of the amazing organizations in the comments, do it! You’ll be blessed!

Anybody else reading Beth Moore’s new book So Long, Insecurity? It’s some good stuff, let me tell you. I can always gauge how much I got out of a non-fiction read by how purple it is when I’m done marking it all up with my Pentel RSVP Fine Point (well, except for library books). And this one’s a hot mess of vi-o-let.

Not only is she stepping on my toes, she’s kicking me in the shins. And I’m allowing it, because I know Beth loves Jesus like mad and wants all of us to love Him too.

HOWEVER, the devil is also kicking me in the shins. And I’m not too keen on putting up with it from him. Now, I know there’s much debate within Christian circles about “how much to blame on the devil.” I’m not denying my own sinful nature. I’m not blaming Satan for my sinfulness. He can’t MAKE me do anything.

He can, however, whisper lies in my ear and remind me of bitter/jealous feelings I thought I’d gotten rid of.

He can tell me that I’m ugly and that no one likes me and that by the end of March all of my books will be out of print. (I’m exaggerating here.)

He can mess with my beautiful friends who go to church with me. He can tell one of them that another one is judging her. He can tell one of them that she’s not important enough to be included. He can tell one of them that she’ll never measure up to the others. He can tell one of them that she’s the only one that’s not cute and tiny.

Jerk.

I’m preparing to speak at a women’s retreat in New Jersey this weekend (I’ll be gone Thursday to Sunday–please pray for my darling husband.) on this exact kind of thing. I’ve done these talks before, but God is adding lots of new stuff He wants me to say, and some of it isn’t easy, because it’s awfully personal.

The 3 sessions are: Replacing Comparison with Confidence, Replacing Criticism with Compassion, and Replacing Competition with Contentment. All of them deal with how we relate to other women, and it’s stuff we all struggle with to some degree, regardless of our spiritual maturity level.

I’d love it if you’d pray for me as I speak to these sweet women–and for them as God prepares their hearts for what He has to say through me. Thank you!

Anybody else struggling with insecurity this week?

It’s hard to go about your daily stuff when right around the corner from you somebody’s baby girl is dying. Bless your precious hearts for all the beautiful comments you left for Faith and her family today (people praying in 26 states and 4 countries, I think). I printed them all out in two different colors and made kind of a booklet. I’m praying God uses your words to give them the hugest emotional hug.

If you missed yesterday’s post, Faith, a little 6-year-old girl at Ava’s school, has just been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. It’s extremely aggressive, and while doctors originally (a couple days ago) gave her six months to live, now they’re saying she could stop breathing in as little as 6 weeks. And I heard from a teacher today that they’re thinking even sooner.

Basically, she needs a complete and total miraculous act of God to live. And that’s what I’m praying for. And will keep praying for until He heals her or takes her home.

Her mom’s faith in God is incredible. She said today that “I do not understand God’s purposes or plans, but nothing that could ever come about in this life will make me love him any less.” You can keep up with how Faith is doing on her Caring Bridge site. And if you didn’t get a chance to leave a comment yesterday, please sign her guestbook. I know she and her family will be so encouraged.

During radiation today, they asked Faith if she could meet anyone in the world, who would it be? Faith’s answer? “Jesus and God.”

Please pray especially for Faith’s sister, Trinity (9) and Faith’s first-grade teacher, Mrs. Taylor. They’re both having a really rough time.

And thank you so much for involving your kids in praying for Faith. We’ve had lots of powerful (and tearful) discussions these past two days. It’s hard to find that delicate balance between sharing stark reality and not scaring our girlies. This has definitely shaken them, but hopefully it will bring us even closer as a family, closer to God, and filled with empathy and compassion for those who are hurting.

Poor Nina. I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but she’s been really curious about Heaven for the past couple months. She asks about it a lot and will often come to me with her lip quivering, saying something like, “When I go to heaven, can I come back here?” or “I don’t want to go to heaven! I love it here with you!”

Today in the car on the way to visit a friend, she said, “When you and Daddy go to heaven, who will be my Mommy?” She tried so hard not to cry but couldn’t help it. Nearly broke my heart in two. I kind of promised her that I would never leave her, not ever. Then I tried to fix it by saying that God will always be with her and will always love her and make sure she’s taken care of.

Whew.

Leaning on Jesus hard tonight. Love you, friends!

p.s. Tomorrow’s the Big Launch of The Worlds Apart Project (where I sell my “novel” to raise $ for people in need). Exciting! A huge thank-you to my hubby for working his tail off tonight to get my new site ready.

You know the dangling carrot idiom, right? Where the donkey is supposed to be pulling a cart but he won’t budge? And the boy in the cart ties a carrot to the end of a stick and holds it just far enough in front of the donkey that he can’t reach it. He takes a step, hoping his lips make contact with the coveted veggie. But alas, when he moves, the carrot moves. Being the ass he is, the poor thing tries again. And again. And pretty soon the boy has tricked the dumb donkey into walking all the way to the market.

I felt like that donkey pretty much all day today.

“Here’s some financial relief! Oh no, wait. Not yet.”

“Here’s a really awesome opportunity! Well, maybe not.”

“I know! Let’s go visit someone special this weekend! Oh, good point. That’s not going to work.”

“At least I still have another speaking engagement this week. Wait, it’s canceled too??”

And on and on and blah, yah, yah.

I believe this is why the Bible tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus, not the carrot.

And it’s also why it says that God’s not a carrot-dangler (well, it might not technically say this). He’s not a cruel tease. He doesn’t sit back laughing while I jump through hoop after hoop and then say, “Oh, sorry. Not good enough.” Or, “Whoops. Changed my mind again!”

He is a good God. Always good. Always love. And never, ever acts contrary to His character.

Carrot or no, I’m going to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I’m not going to sit down in the middle of the path and quit. If I can’t reach the carrot, it’s because it’s not in my best interest to have it yet. Or maybe the carrot is just a decoy and there’s Pei Wei Mongolian Chicken waiting for me at the end of the road.

I don’t know.

Choosing to trust in the Lord with all my heart today. And choosing to trust with joy.

It’s been awhile since I’ve asked you to share prayer requests. How can I pray for you this weekend?

p.s. I don’t have quite enough $ yet to pay my publisher for my last book order, so I can get my Diapers books. If you’re still interested in buying some at a discount, let me know! (via comment, twitter, facebook or e-mail).

I hate to be a drama queen, but it was the worst half hour of my life.

Let me back up. Friday morning, I left Columbus, OH at 7:45 a.m. amidst threats of a Winter Storm Warning. The snow was supposed to start at 4:00 a.m., but when I left the house, there was nothing. Gabe called while I was on the road and said, “Be careful. It’s supposed to be icy in Marysville (30 minutes away).” But when I got to Marysville, nothing.

I got to Bellefontaine and stopped for a quick visit with Heather, my old neighbor (Hi, Heather!). Then on to my friend Courtney’s. We left her house at 9:00 a.m. Several local schools were canceled. Some had already planned early dismissal. But not a flake had fallen.

We hopped in Courtney’s SUV, leaving Gabe’s little Civic parked on the street, windshield wipers in the air (at his request), and headed due north. We chatted without ceasing, interrupted only by a phone call from Gabe. “It’s dumping snow here. Dumping.” Courtney and I saw nary a flake.

An hour later, Courtney’s husband had the same news. “Here comes the snow!” We saw nothing.

At 2:00 p.m. we had arrived safely in Michigan, the only danger being food poisoning from some of the nastiest “Mexican” food ever. If you should happen to be hungry and see Panchero’s, run the other way. As a Chipotle fan (and now, a Freebirds fan), I thought it might be worth a try. Now I know why a glance at the map shows Ohio and Texas to be mercifully Panchero’s-free.

The single mom’s retreat was awesome (my reason for going to Michigan), and I’ll blog about it tomorrow, but this post is about the snow.

Courtney and I were on the road by 9:30 Saturday morning. Courtney checked her phone messages and gasped when she saw the pic her husband Brad had sent her. It was their 6yo daughter standing in a snow drift OVER HER HEAD. Were we going to make it home?

There was the tiniest, finest dusting of snow on her SUV when we left, but it wasn’t snowing anymore. The sun was shining brightly, and a couple times during the first 2-3 hours of our trip, we drove under “snow clouds” for 5-6 minutes, then it was over.

As we left “Pure Michigan” behind (do any of you Michiganders want to explain your sign?), we noticed that not only did the speed limit change from 70mph to 65mph (drat), we saw a lot more snow on the ground.

Long story short, on the last 90 minutes of our trip, we began to see what all the fuss was about. Piles of snow on the sides of the road, then snow covering the roads, people driving slowly, snow plows everywhere. Cars, trucks, semis in the ditch all over the place. Surreal.

Twenty minutes from Courtney’s house, we turned the radio on. I joked about it probably being a Level 3 emergency and we weren’t supposed to be out in it. Two minutes later, a squeaky-voiced teenage DJ says, “Logan County is under a Level 3 Snow Emergency. Stay home! Any vehicles out on the road are subject to arrest.”

Nice.

Thanks to Courtney’s mad driving skillz and her fabulous Honda Pilot, we made it to her house unscathed. Every car on her street was buried in snow, except for mine (bless you, Brad!). Courtney let me leave, against her better judgment. I promised her I had a great story should I be pulled over by a cop. I hoped and prayed the main road from Bellefontaine to Columbus would be clear.

It was not. And thus began the scariest half hour of my life. The 4-lane road was solid snow and ice. It might’ve been plowed at one time, but plenty more snow had dumped since. My car slipped and slid, and I couldn’t see the center line. I knew people wanted to pass me, so I tried to give them room without swerving into the ditch. Everyone who passed me was in some sort of huge truck or SUV. My head hurt, my chest hurt, I never stopped praying for even one second. I honestly thought there was no way I was going to survive. When would it end?

There was no place to pull over, and that wouldn’t help anyway. I couldn’t ask Gabe to drive (with the girls) 45 miles to rescue me and leave the car on the side of the road.

I kept going. It got worse. A semi passed me, and I could feel my car sliding. What would I do if I slid into him? After he passed, I couldn’t take it any longer and burst into tears.

“I can’t do this, God!”

And then I kid you not. 10 seconds later, I looked up ahead. A green sign on my right. Leaving Logan County, Entering Union County. There was a line in the middle of the road. On my side–2 or 3 inches of ice and snow. On the Union County side? 100% clear roads. Surreal.

I burst into tears again. This time thankful, grateful, unbelieving tears. I flipped on the radio and sang praise songs all the way home. On clear, clear roads.

Did you pray for me? Praising God for you!