tylenol a.m.

Discombombulated. Not sure which way is up. Hitting myself upside the head for taking a Tylenol pm. at 5:00 am after 2 solid hours of tossing, turning and playing 2 games of Scrabble on Gabe’s iPhone.

I feel so heavy.

Glad I don’t have to go to work today. Praying for Gabe as he does. Going without a shower today. Praying the hot water heater fixer-man comes soon. Praying God will help my unbelief as I envision the thing being irreparable and costing money we don’t have.

I just met a slew of folks in Cambodia who trust God implicitly for his provision minute by minute. Lord, help me be like those people.

Just read a heart-wrenching story from Asia’s Hope’s director about a man who is desperate for someone to care for his children.

Had a wonderful time sharing Cambodia with our church family yesterday.

On today’s to-do list: grocery store after fix-it man comes and write 22 letters to precious kiddos in the orphanage (my friend Judy leaves for Cambodia Wednesday with a team from Asia’s Hope). There is really no other way to get mail/supplies to Cambodia without them being confiscated.

Have I mentioned that God rocked my world last week?

Through my fog of diphenhydramine, I wonder what God has planned for our lives in the days and months ahead. Where do we go from here? Everything seems so pointless. Everything that used to matter now pales in comparison with people fighting to stay alive and children being trafficked to keep food in their families’ bellies.

My heart is broken, and I’m not sure how to function right now.

Externally processing right here on the ol’ blog.

My kiddos are fending for themselves as I figure out how to maneuver through the haze. They’re acting out and I don’t have the energy to do anything but threaten them.

Praying a lot for the people we met, people God is raising up to be the hope of Cambodia.

Praying for myself that God will show me what I need to do and give me the strength to do it.

Would love your prayers too. Thank you.

11 thoughts on “tylenol a.m.

  1. jeannine: waddlee-ah-chaa

    Nothing will be the same now that you’ve made your trip. I think about the children every day. And I pray for the people and children of Cambodia every day. After my trip, The Waters Church sponsored four children. Our entire church is dedicated to the children of Vista’s home. God will use you to make a difference! 🙂

  2. Kaye

    Praying for all of you. Praying for rest for you and Gabe and hoping the hot water heater was an ‘easy’ fix! Look forward to more stories and pictures from your trip. Thanks for blessings those in need as I continue to pray for them along with you.
    Blessings today and always,
    Matthew 21:22

  3. meghan @ spicy magnolia

    I’m not sure why, but this verse from 2 Corinthians 9 came to mind: And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

    That goes for your ordinary days with your family and for whatever good works He has prepared in advance for you all to do.

    What you’re feeling is so normal, Marla! It’s ok to give yourself time to process things, to give yourself grace in getting back to life in the U.S. In a way, those feelings of feeling discombobulated and seeing things that your heart is so moved by should be savored. I’m not sure if that’s the right word I’m looking for, but all too quickly, sometimes what we’ve seen and felt by trips like you’ve been on all too often fade away quickly. So take the time you need to process them and go before the Lord and let Him work out what He needs to you in you. Share what you’re feeling and what you saw with your girls. They’ll glean from what you’ve experienced and it will help you all as a family with your all’s re-entry.

    I know it’s weird, but where you are is a place I get excited about for others coming off missions trips. God still has much to show you. There’s much grace of His to lean on during re-entry. It’s hard, I know. I’m praying for you and much love to you, sister!

  4. Rachelle

    praying for you. I am going through some stuff today (we moved 3 weeks ago); particularly handwritten recipes/notes I have been hanging on to since my mom went home to heaven. Anyway, I turned a recipe over and written on the back, “God will always bless you in a very difficult situation! If you turn it over to him.” It encouraged me today, hope it encourages you too.

  5. Elizabeth

    Marla, I didn’t catch your title until I’d already read the post, and it made me laugh out loud. At least you have your sense of humor in the midst of the fog.

    Give yourself time to adjust to being home! Process it in the way that’s best for you, and if that’s not publicly, then we can wait to hear about it. If it is here on your blog, then keep up the funny titles. I needed it this morning!

    p.s. I think God is doing something really cool that we have yet to discover.

  6. katie neer

    i’m praying your water heater is repairable for cheap 🙂 if not, you could always heat water on the stove for bathtime. and if you do need to replace it and it is electric, not gas, you might check with your electric company. we purchased a water heater from our electric company last year for only about $150 (they discount them majorly to encourage people to reduce energy consumption). i think they’re like $600-800 at our lowe’s, so we were thanking God for that awesome savings.

  7. Jennifer Bale

    Hey – the haze will lift. Give yourself some time. I’ll be praying for you guys today. Love you!

  8. Christy

    Looking forward to reading more of your external processing. There have to be kids here in similar situations that we can help out . . . I just don’t know where to look.

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