I just woke up. In Cambodia. How is this even a thing?? So unreal.
I’m hoping to take some time each day (or every other) to blog my thoughts. At least for these first two weeks Pam & Britt are with us. But, I’ll warn you now. I’m going to be honest. I’m going to share how I’m reeeeally feeling.
It may not be pretty.
Right now? Tired. Happy. Also knots in my stomach. Literally pinching myself (ouch). Nothing seems real. I’m in a bed in a guesthouse I left three years ago. We’re in Cambodia. We made it safely. The flights weren’t bad at all.
We have every piece of luggage in perfect condition. (Thank you, Jesus!)
We are safe, sound. We were sooooo warmly welcomed after 11pm at the airport.
I’m fighting moments of heart-racing panic. What have we done? Why did we leave everyone we love and come here? Who do we think we are? What kind of crazy game is this? Are we insane? Are we going to be a complete nuisance? Did God really tell us to come here? How are we going to figure everything out? How are we going to navigate this life?
WHAT HAVE WE DONE???
This is my third trip to Cambodia, and I’ve felt this way every single time at the beginning. Must. Push. Through. Must cling to God. Must trust him, know he loves me.
This is the word I prayed over and over and over again the past two days (or however long it’s been since we left home). I prayed it a couple hundred times on the icy roads from my parents’ house to the Columbus airport. I prayed it as we checked luggage and said good-byes and unexpectedly checked carry-on bags all the way to Cambodia. I prayed it every time I felt nervous about what was ahead. I prayed it a lot as we landed in Phnom Penh.
And I’m praying it this morning. Immanuel. God with us. God, be with us. I have tears in my eyes, and I’m feeling a million things, and I need you desperately.
We are so loved and so blessed and the luckiest people in the whole entire world. Please help us to do this well. Help us to love others well. Help us to share the light of Jesus well. Please help us to bring the kingdom of God to the kingdom of Cambodia well.
Please help us show Britt & Pam an amazing time. A fun time. A meaningful time. A life-changing time. May time slow down, because I don’t want them to ever leave.
And please give Nina an amazing birthday. She’s NINE today. (I can’t even.)
Go before us, Jesus. Go with us. We praise you. We love you. Amen.