I’ve mentioned before that I’m working on an e-book about life with Gabe’s anxiety (so far, so not pretty). Came across this in my journal and wanted to share:
19 June 2012, 4:28pm
I have got to get this down on paper, but I don’t even know where to start. Holy cow.
PRAISE YOU, JESUS!!
Let me just start with the craziest, most awesome part.
Gabe took a walk this morning. We were gone, the van was gone, his car is with Rich, he left his phone and heart monitor watch (!!!) and walked and talked to God for an hour. He could barely tell me about it. It was so hard for him to get it out.
But he finally did. He said God has healed him. He’s ready to live.
“God and I talked the whole time about Cambodia.”
What? This from the man who does not want to hear the word “Cambodia” mentioned.
“Cambodia was real. The calling God put on my heart was real.”
I can’t believe this. I know Cambodia was real. I know the calling God put on Gabe’s heart was real. But how many times have I doubted this in the past 5 months?
“God healed me for Cambodia.”
Excuse me while I go face plant on the carpet.
Gabe told me just now that Tug asked him about his walk, and he said, “I just said, ‘God healed me, and I have to live my life doing what God wants me to do.’”
I’m just in complete and total shock, God. Total shock.
Yesterday I was all, “I can’t do this any more, God. And today?”
I don’t even have the words.
I don’t even.
Are we going to Cambodia?? You brought Gabe through this thing with this conclusion: God healed him for Cambodia.
I don’t even feel like writing, but I know I need to get more stuff down on paper.
Gabe sat the girls down. Well, we all five sat down on the bed tonight, and Gabe shared a pretty long version of his talk with you on his walk. It was amazing.
I don’t even know what to do, Lord. This is all so new, so crazy, so wow.
Show me how to respond. All I know to do is praise.
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you thank you thank you, Jesus. I love you so much. Praise you praise you praise you.
29 June 2015
That was a little over three years ago. On that happy day in June, I had already mentally packed my bags. WE WERE FINALLY MOVING TO CAMBODIA.
Two-and-a-half looooooooong years later, it happened.
God is faithful.
And (really really) slowly, I’m learning that his timing is perfect.
Even when I think it kind of sucks.