If I ever decide to try to get Changing Your World reprinted, I’m thinking of switching out the Diapers part for something more applicable to my life now. And man, my girls’ feet stink! But it didn’t keep me from kissing my 4-year-old’s tonight as she stood at the top of the stairs before bed. I couldn’t resist. They’re already losing their pudginess.
And yes, my 9-year-old is already starting to resemble a moody girl I knew well about 25 years ago (my poor parents!).
And my 7-year-old. My beautiful, dramatic, knows-how-to-push-my-buttons-but-still-loves-to-jump-in-my-arms-and-wrap-her-legs-around-my-waist middle child.
I love those girls with everything in me. And I’ve been struggling lately as a mom. And a writer. And the meshing of both worlds and feeling like I’m doing a lousy job at both of them.
Leave it to God to use some of my own words to speak encouragement to my heart. My “office” is overflowing with Diapers books (almost done shipping them out!!), and I decided to actually open one up tonight, and here’s what I read:
Do you ever feel that your life–the life you really want–is on hold? While your kiddos are small, should you put your dreams on the shelf to gather dust?
To everything there is a season. We cannot be and do everything all at once. We just have to pray for balance–God’s balance. We have to carefully weigh every choice we make.
There are no easy answers. When I’m struggling with mommy-hood and wishing for something more “exciting,” I try to imagine life without my girls. If I weren’t a mom, I’d have all the time in the world to pursue my writing and my hobbies. I could read for hours and hours, devouring piles of books every week. I could travel and learn photography and have the most organized home in the world.
And I’d be a miserable mess–crying my eyes out every day for a baby because I’ve always wanted to be a mommy.
I dream of writing and speaking and traveling the globe. I dream of family missions trips and sharing book royalties with people in need across the globe. I dream of living completely debt free and having someone else clean my home twice a month or so. I dream of meeting fabulous people from all walks of life and all countries of origin.
But I don’t want to wish today away. Yes, pursuing all those dreams will be easier when my little ones aren’t so little. But I have to build a foundation with them now so they’ll have the desire to serve Christ when they’re older. I don’t want to long for the days when my girls are grown and I am “free to do my own thing.”
I want to enjoy each moment. I want to live my dream now. Sure, it will change and grow as my family does, but I don’t ever want to pursue it at their expense.
I’m 32 years old and in the prime of my life. this is what I was created to do–be a mom to little girls. Why would I want to wish these days away for more time and freedom? Do I really want my girls to be 16, 14 and 11? Do I want to be in my forties? My fifties?
Don’t I want to have something to look forward to? These are the anticipation years–when the best still lies ahead. Isn’t that the place I want to be? Where the best is always yet to come? And ironically, that can only happen if I’m having the best time of my life now, each day I live bringing more joy than the one before it.
Convicting words. Joy is mine for the choosing. And so is unselfishness. And lately I’ve been more selfish than joyful. It’s a crappy way to live.
Speaking of crappy, I’m giving you one more chance to buy One Diaper at a Time at a discount. A St. Patty’s (more poo puns!) Day Special, if you will.
Here are your options:
2 Diapers books = $12
4 Diapers books = $20
21 Diapers books = $70
Just click here to pay via paypal (click to pay either $12, $20 or $70). If you’d rather send a check, let me know. At midnight the horses turn back to mice and the sale’s over for good (at least until Halloween).
Now, off you go to kiss someone Irish! Or a pair of sweet little feet!