The news wasn’t surprising. Not at all. But it still stung.
I didn’t cry like last time. Well, not at first.
I might as well just say it. You know my book Changing Your World One Diaper at a Time? It’s going out of print. Sales had slowed too much for the publisher to justify keeping it stocked.
I know. Sad stuff. Disheartening, discouraging. It hurts.
I do know it’s not the end of the world. But I feel like I’m at a crossroads in my life/ministry/career. I can’t seem to see through the fog. Everything appeared to be going along so smoothly. One published book a year for the past four years.
And then I hit a wall. And now another wall.
I’ve always wanted to be a writer. The speaking thing was an afterthought, something I did to keep my writing alive. Now, the speaking thing is taking off (with no help from me), and the writing is at a standstill.
Part of me wants to figure it all out right this minute. Part of me wants to keep plodding mindlessly along and trust that God will reveal His plan as I go. Part of me wants to take a big, long break from all of it and come back in a few months. Or never.
I’m speaking from a very raw place right now which might not be the brightest idea, but I don’t really care. It is what it is. I am what I am.
The publisher offered to sell me the rest of the copies in their warehouse at a deep discount (just like Blushing). I hate the thought that I just got rid of all those books in my closet just to make room for another failed title. Oh well.
Anyone want some cheap books to give away to new moms?
My dear husband tried so hard this afternoon to “fix” everything. I finally asked him for just one day of being depressed and discouraged. Just one day. He said no. I got mad. Awhile later, he went on a photo walk. When he got back, he said, “How about this? I’ll give you two days to be sad.” Perfect.
See you in two days.