Disclaimer: the words you’re about to read were not given to me by God. He neither wrote them in the sky nor in the steam of my shower walls. They’re mine. My words, my opinion, my fault if something doesn’t ring completely true.
I will say this: I’ve prayed a lot about what I’m about to write. And actually I don’t know exactly what I’m about to write. I have some notes I scrawled at a few stoplights and in the bank drive-thru this morning. I even took a notepad with me on a walk around the block this afternoon (not that I’ll be able to read what I wrote).
I know this much. Last night’s facebook/blog discussion on “Does Jesus want me to dress up for church?” got my emotions going. Tight chest, blood bubbling, I even cried myself to sleep. Maybe I’ve just been through a lot lately. Or maybe I just felt really misunderstood.
Maybe I’m stalling.
(If you want to catch up on the conversation, you can read the comments on this post or search for the thread on my facebook wall.)
If it wasn’t pushing 11pm (with a big day behind me and another one on the morrow), I might make a little outline so my points are clear and in order. Oh, who am I kidding? Let’s just jump in the pool fully-clothed.
Used to be I didn’t drink alcohol. (Trust me. This will all come back to church clothes in a sec.) Why not?
I thought it was wrong for Christians to drink.
I didn’t take my first sip (my first SIP) until I was 34 years old (THIRTY-FOUR). Why did I try it then? Because I read through the Bible for the 15th or 23rd time, and somehow, that time I realized that what I’d believed for 34 years–that it was wrong for Christians to drink–WAS NOT IN THE BIBLE. God’s people drank in the OT, they drank in the NT, JESUS DRANK (and even made his own wine one time).
But guess what? If you ask me today, “Do you drink alcohol?” I’ll say “no.” (?!?!) True story. I don’t drink. But guess what? My reasons are different now.
1.) I tried a few different kinds of alcohol, and they mostly made me gag. 2.) Alcohol’s not in my budget. 3.) My heart-attack-survivor husband’s diet is low in sodium, no in alcohol.
If you love Jesus and you want to drink, now I’ll smile and say, “Awesome.” You drink, I don’t. We both love Jesus.
Now, let’s change gears. Here’s what I wear to church on any given Sunday: jeans, t-shirt, and either tennis shoes or flip-flops. Maybe you wear a cute polka-dotted dress, pantyhose, and adorable red open-toed heels.
Do we both love Jesus? Yes, we do. Awesome.
I’ll tell you what bothered me most about last night’s discussion. When people said that we should dress up for church because God wants us to “give Him our best.” Or that “dressing up shows respect for God.” Or, “Sunday is a holy day and should be set apart by how we dress.” Or, “would you dress up for a king? Because God is our King.”
I would love for some of those statements to be re-phrased to say, “This is my personal conviction. For me, dressing up is a sign of respect to God. I want to give Him my best, and for me, that includes my clothing. And I totally get–and respect–that your clothing may be saying something totally different to God.”
Why yes, yes it is. So glad you asked.
If my Sunday morning jeans and t-shirt could talk, this is what they would say:
“God, thank you so much for these $4 jeans from the thrift store that have lasted so wacky long. What a blessing. Thank you for this t-shirt I bought from those crazy kids doing work in Africa. It’s a constant reminder to pray for the people there who are suffering so much.
Thank you for allowing me to go to a church where my simple wardrobe is accepted without question, where my beautiful fashionista friends still manage to find something about me to compliment (did you get your hair cut? so cute!!).
Thank you that it takes me about 20 minutes to get ready in the morning (shower included) so I can spend more time doing what I really want to do: read my Bible, journal, and drink coffee. Thank you for all the money I’ve saved by not buying a Sunday-go-to-meetin’ wardrobe. I love being able to give.
Thank you that the boys who walk to church without their parents always shake my hand and smile when I greet them at the door. Thank you that they don’t stick out like sore thumbs just because they don’t own any ‘real’ church clothes.
Thank you that there’s nothing flashy about me to distract people while they’re worshiping. Thank you that I can raise my hands in praise without worrying about my clothes doing inappropriate things without my consent.”
OKAY, WE GET THE POINT.
Friends, the bottom line is this: God never, ever tells us we have to dress up for church. He does say things like, “Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart.”
IT IS OKAY IF YOU DRESS UP FOR CHURCH. Some of my most favorite people dress SO CUTE at church (I’m looking at you, Mandie! Shalla! Jolie!) If what you wear is an act of worship for you, if your heart is in the right place, I am 100% for you dressing up.
I’m just asking you to accept that my choice of clothing is an act of worship too. In a different way.
Drinking may be wrong for you, but the Bible doesn’t say it’s wrong. Playing cards/going to the movies/listening to rock music/fill-in-the-extra-biblical-blank may be wrong for you, but the Bible doesn’t say it’s wrong. Jeans to church may be wrong for you, but the Bible doesn’t say it’s wrong.
I love the diversity of our church. Not just the racial/ethnic diversity, but all the different ways we dress on Sunday. Because you know what I think it says to the seeker who shows up for the first time, a whole lot nervous about what he’ll find? YOU BELONG HERE.
Is your hair all slicked back and your suit all spiffy? You belong here. Are you struggling to feed your family, let alone buy them clothes that fit? You belong here. Is fashion your creative outlet, your special gift? You belong here. Are you clueless when it comes to what matches what? You belong here.
Perhaps I should stay on my side of the Mason-Dixon Line, and I’m definitely not going to name any denominations here, but can you tell me, those of you who go to a church where every single person is dressed to the nines on Sunday morning, do poor people ever come through your doors? And do they come back again? Is this okay with Jesus?
Oh, goodness. I have so much more to say. Haven’t even made a dent in my scribbled notes, but I’m already 200 words over my self-imposed 1000-word limit, so I’ll wrap it up with this:
God looks at the heart. Do we? Really and truly? And are we more concerned with aligning our hearts with God’s or looking a certain way?
And where do we get our ideas about what church should look like/what we should look like at church? From the Bible or somewhere else?
Whatever you wear to church, are you willing to accept those who have different ideas/values/convictions about their choice of Sunday dress?
And I didn’t even address the whole have-we-gotten-too-casual-and-buddy-buddy-with-God question.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. (and if you already addressed this on fb or Tuesday’s post, feel free to copy and paste your comment over here)
Come back tomorrow where we’ll answer this question: Is spending hundreds of dollars on coordinating Easter outfits for your family (complete with new purses, shoes, and hair bows) the most appropriate way to celebrate Christ’s humble death and resurrection? (Kidding! Sort of. Like 76%.)
Well, I’m from TX and grew up Southern Baptist…and we dressed up as a kid. I’m now serving with my family in the UK and we belong to the most missional church we’ve ever been in that meets in an old building and we have everyone from 3 piece suites to shorts/flip flops. I love it. And I wear jeans some weeks. Dresses other weeks. I even chew gum sometimes in church. Shh, don’t tell my mom.
Hugs Marla. I agree with the post above- there are more important issues.
This is good stuff! I have never really thought about this, but I guess I’ve mostly gone to churches that are slightly more casual than some of the other ones here in the Bible Belt. I like to dress a little nicer on a Sunday than a weekday, but it’s really just because I never have a reason to wear my slacks & button-up shirts (or the occasional dress). My pastor says that anything north of a Speedo is fine!
I could just hug you! lol I don’t know you a friend of mine shared your post. The way I look at it is Jesus loves me 6 1/2 other days of the week in my normal everyday clothes he’s not going to stop loving me if I remain the same Sunday mornings.
Consider yourself hugged. Thanks for stopping by, Rachelle! My middle name is Rachelle.
LOVED THIS. A lot of good things to think about, Marla. I am having trouble with a lot of these things lately (not necessarily clothes, but values, etc I’ve been taught growing up and what the Bible REALLY says about them). I have to admit, I was taught that you dress for a King, etc but now I wear jeans to church mostly (GASP) and it makes me feel guilty for some reason.
Can’t wait to see what else you have to say. I will also close the internet window where I am looking at Easter clothes – ha!!! 
I already wrote tomorrow’s post. Not a word about Easter clothes.
This is my question: who says jeans and flip flops aren’t “dressing up”? It doesn’t make sense to me to argue the differences between people who “dress up” for church or don’t, because there are virtually none. Do you shower before church? Even when you don’t, do you put on deodorant? Put makeup over a zit? Pull your hair back? Carry chap stick? Brush your teeth? Or just grab a stick of gum? Are your jeans relatively clean? Do your flip flops have mud caked on them? I mean, we ALL are doing ourselves “up” when we go to church and trying to adhere to certain standards of “up.” We put ourselves together as best we can, and whether you wear jeans or skirts, cotton or cashmere, you likely base your clothing choice on most of the same things: budget, culturally appropriate, comfortable, modest (hopefully), flattering (consider what style jeans you wear and the color, no matter what price you paid). I’m not sure a person struggles or worships the Lord in any significantly different ways with his/her appearance no matter what the clothing choice. We are all vain. We all want to look good/nice. We all need to be modest. We all try to fit in. I believe all people dress “up” to attend church. There’s just nothing to argue here . . .
Look! I think you did it! No one has argued since you posted that! THANK YOU.
I haven’t read all the comments.
I don’t know you, but I could just hug you!
Clothing and “church meeting appearance” is an old discussion that doesn’t seem to lose steam!
Just the mention of Easter in the same sentence with “clothes” stirred up some ungodly anxiety! I don’t know what clothing is most appropriate to wear when the church meets, but my prayer is that first and foremost we’d adore the mystery of being clothed in Christ’s righteousness!
Marla,
This is the best piece you have ever written. I love all of your writing, but this hit me. I’m reminded of a story I was once told (which I may butcher):
A 17-year-old girl shows up at Sunday School and cigarettes fall out of her pocket. Someone notes “the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree” (refering to the girl’s mother). The girl was asked to leave. She never went back to church.
If more churches were an oasis of acceptance (not accepting what people do, but accepting people in general) then the feeling of love, mercy, and forgiveness would resonate and they would come back again. And again.
When someone hides to drink a beer for fear of being seen, that pushes them even further away from God.
GREAT STUFF, MARLA!
Thanks for the love, Kirkie. (Can I still call you that?)
Great thoughts, Marla. I love hearing your heart. I grew up going to church where we were a little more dressy and have gone to more casual t-shirt/jeans and everything in between churches throughout adulthood. I get really twitchy when anyone says “real Christians” do such and such. Perhaps there are a few things “real” Christians do but such pronouncements smack of legalism. So many things, from our actions to our attitudes, come down to God and us. We should be open to others’ input and study, sure, but at the end of the day, God’s opinion is the only one that matters. And on this matter, there’s no mandate for how to dress for church, especially if you put a worldview spin on things. Christians in America likely dress differently from Christians in Africa or Christians in Europe. There’s no correct way to dress. Going to a more casual church frees me to be more contemplative in the service. I like to look nice and there are other people at my church that get more dressed up than I do but it’s simply how we are. It’s not a requirement and it’s not a distraction. We come as we are before Christ. Love to you, friend.
I thought about a lot of things today too. I was reminded of going to “church” in India. I say “church” because it was in the main room of a family home. The same room the family slept, ate, and spent life together in. There were people huddled up on the family beds, women dressed in glorious saris, and kids in almost no clothes, singing Amazing Grace in Hindi, clapping to every song we sang, and loving Jesus. It was beautiful, and I think God smiled at that simple assembly just as much as he smiles at Christians in gatherings large and small around the world praising his name!
Love.
I have a hard time reading comments on each side of the spectrum because I don’t think that is the issue we should consider nor what God looks at. I could wear sequined dresses or pants with patches and still wear a haughty or hardened heart. People who dress up can judge themselves better than those who dress down for church just as some who dress down can view themselves better for not caring about the clothes or for their “knowing” that it isn’t what is on the outside. My heart could be victim to not having my food intake in control…or in overly controlling it. It could be susceptible to my high value for structure and schedules and productivity…or to my very low value of that and my high value for rest and fun and spontaneity. Also, in the conversation on Gabe’s fb page, there was a bit about whether we should drink or if it’s drunkenness that matters and whether we’re playing with fire or whether we can live in freedom to a certain point. All of these matters are subject to personal conviction. Whatever it is that we prize so dearly, we should question and hold onto lightly. Clearly those things have a hold on our heart that only Christ should. So while I think God wants us to treat our bodies as temples and put on the amazement at ourselves that He has, I don’t think he wants us to get caught up in that either and wants us to be relaxed and focusing on Him only when we commune with Him, which is all of our lives and not just Sunday mornings (or evening or Sat night or whenever your service may be). I especially like 1 Cor 10:23-33 and 1 Cor 13:1-3. If we get too caught up on all of these “should’s” and “should not’s,” we completely miss the point. My prayer is to keep focusing less on the trees so I can see the forest.
Marla, I love you. I love my sisters and brothers who dress up for Jesus. I love my sisters and brothers who wear the same stuff they wear every day to commune with Jesus. I love that people are willing to think about what the Lord requires of us. I love that God tells us what he requires of us: do justice, love mercy, walk humbly with God. I love that that gives us a whole lot of restriction, and a whole lot of freedom. I love that Christians are set free IN CHRIST because the law was weakened by the flesh but God conquered the law by sending his own Son so that the requirements of the law would be fulfilled in us who walk not according to the flesh but according to the spirit of Christ. I love our amazing Father who welcomes all kinds of crazy people into his family, and not one of us looks alike on the outside, but all of us look like Christ to him!
I love all of that too. And YOU!
so interesting – i would imagine some of this is cultural and ingrained. we choose to go to a church where appearances are not at all important (sometimes, painfully so!). but we are all comfortable with ourselves and each other. if we hadn’t physically moved to another town, i don’t know how we could have stayed at the lovely church we were attending before having children. the contingency there is high-brow, college professional-type and retired well-to-do mennonites. there is no way our kids would fit in without making some changes. but, again, it is age-specific (those who would care) and cultural for that specific church.
at the very least i have thought a lot more about how i judge others based on their dress. it’s a nasty habit – i’m praying i see beyond and through all that.
When I was growing up my mum always made me dress up for church in dresses and skirts. I remember one row we had when I was a teenager because I wanted to wear my new ripped jeans to church, but she said that it was too scruffy!
To be honest I’ve never really discussed the whys and wherefores with her and she mellowed about it as I got older.
For the last few years I worked for the church I attended so I’d be there for six or seven days a week. I had to dress fairly smartly during the week (I worked in the office) so it was actually a treat to be able to dress down on a Sunday and be in church for personal time with God rather than having to present a professional face!
To be honest I think if someone is worried about it they just need to pray and ask what God wants for them. The most important thing is that they’re themselves, and as long as they have things sorted with God in their heart (how much they spend on their clothes allowance included!) it doesn’t really make any difference what they wear.
It’s easy to get into thinking that you have to dress a certain way to impress or even welcome people in church (smart for middle/upper class areas or even sloppy to make homeless people feel welcome for example) but I think people notice whether you’re being real and honest a lot more than what you’re wearing.
The only time I would say that Christian clothing matters is if it is inappropriate – very short skirts or low tops which might distract/tempt others – but that should be relevant for every day and not just church!
Rachel, I had the same situation a while back. I worked at a church (and had to dress business casual during the week). Then, I got to wear my jeans and t-shirt on Sunday. That’s just weird, if you ask me.
I love this post so much. I am very much a jeans at church kinda gal…I just don’t see the need to dress up and be all fancy when all i wanna do is go and worship my God! Now on EAster (purely for the fact it’s Easter) I do tend to dress up…feels “right” to me…but wait, where was I going with that…oh yah…
but I agree, I think what’s more important is being there, not what we wear.
Personally, I am just thankful people come dressed
P.S. I love you for your honesty…
p.p.s: Should I not invite you out for mango margarita’s???
Ok im done love you!
Marla,
Guess I’m the only dude in the “pool” but I love your thoughts about not being a distraction to others trying to worship. I think the bottom line as you said is that if your heart is in the right place then that’s all that matters because that is what God is looking at. Great post. I will pass it along
There are a handful of other dudes here. They just kind of got lost in the shuffle.
Hey there, pal.
Hey DG
We kinda do get lost among everyone else… but let’s admit it, we’re not really Marla’s target audience!
AND, because there’s not many of us, we probably don’t feel like commenting much for fear of ‘not belonging’.
Ok, back on topic. I’ve been the kind of person who likes to dress for church, but I guess that’s because I’ve grown up going to churches where that’s normal. As I don’t dress up during the week, the thought of setting a day aside as ‘God’s special day’, and treating it as such is appealing.
Obviously the converse is true, if I dressed up during the week, I’d want to dress down a bit to keep that day unique (not that it isn’t already)
[sheepishly] My goodness… somebody likes smiley faces!
Love the comment you made about dressing as an act of worship! So true! Thanks for the fun debate. Overall, I think you need to dress comfortably so that whatever you’re wearing doesn’t distract you from spending time with God. Just last Sunday I was wearing a new pair of rock’n high heeled patent shoes and kicked ‘em off the second I sat down ’cause they were killing me!
So, the pain and discomfort of new shoes didn’t steel my joy of worshipping and spending time with Jesus! 
Blessings!
P.S. What if your church clothes aren’t about you but about how they will impact, effect or encourage the other peeps in church? If we’re going to a homeless shelter for a church service, I will not wear the nicest clothes I have ’cause that would be insulting/discouraging to most.
What if what we say, do, wear is all bathed in grace and prayer and for the encouragement of the others? Maybe this would then be a non-issue?
Still fun to discuss, though 
love your point here – “whatever you do for the least of these…”
perfectly said.
i sense and overall theme/attitude of : “if someone dresses up they are being offensive because they aren’t able to love/be available to/understand those who don’t/can’t. and if someone dresses up they are focused on all the wrong things. and if someone dresses up, they’re looking down upon those who can’t/don’t.
and as a dresser-upper…i want to say that I am not like that at all, and most dresser-uppers I know aren’t either.
it seems like dresser-uppers are being looked down upon by non-dresser-uppers simply because they dress-up (say that 3 times fast)
I just want to point out that we ALL need to be careful, It’s all about the heart & there are lost souls out there that need our Jesus regardless of what we’re wearing when we introduce them to Him.
Right. What Jess said. I’ve been pondering this since I read the blog post in the middle of the night, and have been avoiding commenting because I was sort of (OK, very) irritated by the tone of the post. But you said what I wanted to say, only nicer.
You’re more than welcome to share what you really think, nice or not. And if you don’t want backlash from posting it publicly, you have access to my e-mail and fb inbox.
What about the part where I talked about my favorite people who dress up? And the part where I said that if we didn’t have ALL kinds of dressers, then the people who show up looking spiffy and/or cute wouldn’t feel like they belonged?
This post was a personal response to those who have said, “You have to dress up to show respect to God. End of discussion.”
I happen to think it’s not the end of the discussion.
I should have been more clear…i was all caught up in the comments when i commented that. i actually meant, the overall tone of the COMMENTS. I read through all 8 million of them and got that sense.
I didn’t have any reaction to the tone of your original post…I thought it was well-stated (in spite of that fact that we don’t see eye-to-eye on the specifics…but that you arleady knew.)
aaaand, shoot. i had one more thing…but i forget. gah. (i really need to clean, lady. i have 2 extra kids tonight & i need to get ahead of the game before i get more behin!)
I’m so glad you ladies are having these discussions at your ages! My head spins with all the thoughts on these topics!
The church that I attend is VERY formal – “Easter” dresses every Sunday for most ladies, very few in slacks, and Jim can’t, as a deacon, serve Lord’s Supper in the sanctuary unless he’s in a coat and tie – really. And I do understand that for all of them, that’s just fine. But, in a way that seemed to exercise Jim’s and my subtle rebellion, I quit wearing dresses and Jim started attending church in golf-style shirts only a very long time ago. Recently, as we’ve been part of a church-plant-in-an-existing-old-church new service, we’ve been intentional about being less threatening to people who aren’t Jesus followers – so we’re now jeans-only most every Sunday, by intent. Is that causal in my addressing the Lord too casually? I think not. (I had a friend from BSF days who wouldn’t have her quiet time until she’d showered, done makeup and hair, and dressed for the day – she didn’t want want the Lord to see her looking just dragged out of bed. A lot of us judged her, wrongly, for being a little nutty. Looking back, I admire her attitude, as odd as that sounds.)
We spend a lot of time around REALLY wealthy people, and the Lord spoke to me specifically about the spending thing from the Scripture when I read Matt. 20:15 like I’d never seen it before; that resenting or criticizing such things is being jealous because the Lord is generous. And Jim and I remind ourselves often that we’re truly CRAZY wealthy by so many standards – and so blessed.
Drinking? I’m so okay with anybody’s decision, with some reservations. I do think that my teenage girls would be very confused if they saw Jim and I at a restaurant having margaritas, Jim’s parents were both alcoholics (as were/are all his cousins and brother but one), and we’d rather spend the money on other things. So we don’t drink. Other people get to decide for themselves.
I’ve spent so much time, too much, being judgmental and Pharisaical about a LOT of things, and not enough loving and being aware of what grace I’ve been extended. You know? Take up my cross daily and follow Him; love the Lord with all my heart,soul,mind,strength and my neighbor as myself; do justly, love mercy, walk humbly. I’m working on paring down my list of rules to closer to those.
sf
I always love hearing your perspective, Sandi. Thank you so much!
“I’ve spent so much time, too much, being judgmental and Pharisaical about a LOT of things, and not enough loving and being aware of what grace I’ve been extended. ”
you and me both! so thankful that God doesn’t give up on us – so glad that the “daily” part was included in taking up our crosses, otherwise i’d feel like a miserable failure.
This is an awesome discussion… I am so on board with this .Dress has absalutly nothing to with loving Jesus! Although there is that modesty issue we tend to have in our church on occation… That can be brought to the persons attention in a loving and kind way in private, and I have done this and they dress more modest, Men are men and when women dress scantly can be a distraction! So absalutly nothing in the Bible thats says drinking,dancing.dressing up/down is wrong.Only in access it it a sin as in all things..I wear jeans and Tshirts and sneakers all the time on occation I dress up…All These things are people issues, not God issues… Our Pastor told a couple in our church that is in a leadership position, that if he ever caught them drinking even a glass of wine he would remove them from their leadership position..Mr. self rightiouness…How wrong is that! It is about our relationship with Jesus our heart not outer appearences.. or having a glass of wine..
Marla,
I get where you’re coming from. I think it’s ridiculous to spend a ton of money on clothes for ANY occasion, not just church. I LOVE to shop, but the older I’ve gotten, the more guilt I feel if I spend what I consider to be “too much” on clothes for myself. Unfortunately, I’m in a workplace that requires a certain level of professional dress that doesn’t allow for jeans or casual shirts. As far as my church attire, it all depends on the week. Sometimes it’s jeans with a sweater, sometimes it’s one of my work outfits.
I lead a group of high school girls at my church. I appreciate the truth behind “God doesn’t care what you wear”, but I think some people can take that statement too far. I think God does care if a 16-year-old girl is wearing skintight jeans that show her thong when she bends over, or if she’s wearing shorts that are soooo short that she is constantly having to “rearrange”. I think God cares because she is drawing attention to herself from teenage boys and/or grown men who can’t help but see what is hanging out there for everyone to take a look at. I’ve tried to have these conversations with some of the girls in my group, but “God doesn’t care what I wear” is their go-to response. Hopefully, maturity will come with age and they will eventually see the issue.
It all boils down to a heart issue. I feel like in some of your statements above, especially the ones regarding what your Sunday clothes could say if they talked, that there are broad, sweeping statements being made. Just because someone is dressed in a t-shirt and jeans on Sunday morning doesn’t automatically make them more approachable, nor is someone dressed in a suit and tie always a snob. I’ve been in churches in my life on both sides of the spectrum, and I’ve found the exact opposite to be the case PLENTY of times. In our current church, a lot of our older members (65+) still wear “church clothes” while the younger crowd is very casual. The “Sunday-go-to-meetin” crowd will bend over backwards to make people feel welcome, while a lot of the “jeans and t-shirt” crowd will look at people like they just took their favorite seat at Starbucks. My point being – if your HEART is clothed inappropriately, it won’t matter if you’re wearing an outfit from Goodwill or from a designer boutique.
AMEN Shannon!
yes!
and “sunday-go-to-meetin’” is one of the best phrases in the english language!
You’re not the first person to tell me that what my jeans “say” sounded really self-righteous. I truly didn’t mean it like that. I was just trying to show that you really CAN respect and love God while wearing jeans. Not that all people do. And certainly not that you HAVE to wear jeans to do that. Make sense?
Yes, it made sense to me when I first read it. And I know that I can respect and love God while wearing jeans, because that’s what I’m wearing 75% of the time that I’m at church.
The point that I wanted to make is that if my heart and attitude are clothed inappropriately on Sunday mornings (or any other day of the week)it doesn’t matter if I wear jeans or a prom dress to church. None of us should judge anyone else on the basis of how formally or informally they dress for church. What I DO have an issue with is someone who is dressing to bring attention to their body, whether they are in a $5.00 pair of jeans that are too tight and showing me their underwear or whether they’re in a $500 fancy dress with their boobs hanging out. To me, that is a HEART issue that says, “Hey everybody, look at me, pay attention to me”. I think that is the bigger issue that we as Christians should be addressing when it comes to our wardrobe choices. I see too many “church people” allowing their 10-year-old daughters to walk around in strapless tops and booty shorts or t-shirts with their stomachs exposed. Not expensive clothing, but incredibly inappropriate. If they’re allowed to dress like that at 10, what are they going to wear when they’re 16 or 21?
I’ve addressed modesty here on the blog before. If I wasn’t so tired, I’d go back and find the post(s) for you.
Your comment needs a “like” button, Marla. I didn’t misinterpret any of what you wrote.
The whole blog needs ‘like’ buttons… if nothing else for us guys who want to say things without saying anything
Shannon, I think your comment is the best one I’ve read so far.
“Just because someone is dressed in a t-shirt and jeans on Sunday morning doesn’t automatically make them more approachable, nor is someone dressed in a suit and tie always a snob.” Yes and amen!
My mom was raised in a VERY strict home where women NEVER wore pants to church. Before she gave her life to Jesus (not until after I was married), she didn’t feel comfortable attending a church where the dress was casual and people wore jeans. So….it’s not always a jeans and t-shirt that will make people feel comfortable.
And we don’t know that the person who’s “dressed to the 9′s” didn’t spend $7 on their nice church dress at goodwill and $5 on their high heels at Payless on clearance, when the person next to them might be wearing $100 Lucky jeans, $70 Yellowbox flip flops, and a $50 Abercrombie t-shirt.
Heart, heart, heart – it’s all about our heart, no matter if we dress up or not. I love the person who suggested we start each day asking God what we should wear to bring Him glory that day. Maybe it’s jeans or maybe it’s a nice dress that will attract someone to Him.
Marla, this is SO GOOD. So good. And I think you are spot on. Jesus says it’s not what a man eats that makes him unclean; it’s what comes from his heart. That applies to so many things in life. Our clothes don’t matter; WHY we are wearing the clothes we are wearing matters.
To take it to the next level (can I do that?), here’s something I’ve been thinking about the last few weeks: Easter and the cultural dressing up that goes with it. I could make a case that Easter is a CELEBRATION (which it is) and that justifies beautiful new party clothes, so to speak. But then I wonder how much that distracts us from the real meaning of the day – sort of like the focus on presents at Christmas instead of Jesus being the gift.
I’m thinking of wearing jeans and a nice shirt to church on Easter this year because I don’t want that morning to be about ME and what I’m wearing. I just want to worship at Jesus’ feet, with my hair wiping up my tears of gratitude.
Living in a different culture, I didn’t even know about the cultural dressing up that goes with Easter until I started reading these comments. [so take this as a grain of salt]
Not knowing the church you go to, when I hear you say “I’m thinking of wearing jeans and a nice shirt to church on Easter this year because I don’t want that morning to be about ME and what I’m wearing.” I wonder if such an activity would stand out MORE, drawing more attention to oneself and actually have the opposite effect to what is trying to be achieved.
Is one trying to make a statement, or is one trying to blend in… the answer to that question is, I think, surprisingly relevant (on so many more levels than simply clothing…), and correct answer is not always the same.
Is one trying to make a statement or is one trying to blend in…
That is the heart of the matter, Ben. I totally agree. Our church is largely a jeans-and-nice-shirt type of church. But I think Easter in the West has a cultural connotation of dressing up. Even people who don’t celebrate the Resurrection buy “Easter” dresses and put hats on the girls. That’s why I was thinking of backing away from that, a little.
For what it’s worth, in California, we went to a church near the beach where people commonly came straight from surfing. They would pull down their wetsuit, but on a t-shirt and walk in. It wasn’t unusual there, so it didn’t stand out.
The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart.